Negotiating: How do you reach an agreement?

1 Prepare well

Before you enter a negotiation, you need to do your homework. Research the other party's interests, needs, values, and alternatives. Identify your own goals, priorities, and bottom line. Anticipate possible objections, questions, and scenarios. Prepare a list of options and trade-offs that you can offer or ask for. The more prepared you are, the more confident and flexible you will be in the negotiation.

2 Build rapport

Negotiation is not only about numbers and facts, but also about emotions and relationships. You want to establish a positive and respectful connection with the other party, so that they are more likely to listen to you and cooperate with you. To build rapport, you can use effective communication skills, such as active listening, empathy, mirroring, open-ended questions, and compliments. You can also find common ground, share stories, and express appreciation and gratitude.

3 Focus on interests

One of the key principles of negotiation is to focus on interests, not positions. Interests are the underlying reasons, motivations, and values that drive people's positions. Positions are the specific demands or requests that people make. For example, if you are negotiating a salary increase, your position might be to ask for a 10% raise, but your interest might be to feel valued, secure, and motivated. By focusing on interests, you can explore the needs and concerns of both parties, and look for creative and mutually beneficial solutions.

4 Use objective criteria

Another principle of negotiation is to use objective criteria, not subjective opinions or preferences. Objective criteria are external standards or benchmarks that can justify your proposals or requests. For example, if you are negotiating a salary increase, you can use objective criteria such as market rates, industry averages, performance reviews, or qualifications. By using objective criteria, you can avoid arguments based on emotions or power, and make your negotiation more fair and rational.

5 Manage emotions

Negotiation can be stressful and challenging, especially if you encounter resistance, conflict, or impasse. You need to manage your own emotions and the emotions of the other party, so that they don't interfere with your rationality and judgment. To manage emotions, you can use techniques such as breathing, pausing, reframing, acknowledging, and validating. You can also express your emotions in a constructive and respectful way, and avoid blaming, criticizing, or attacking the other party.

6 Seek win-win outcomes

The ultimate goal of negotiation is to reach an agreement that satisfies both parties and creates value for both sides. This is called a win-win outcome, and it is based on the idea that negotiation is not a zero-sum game, where one party's gain is another party's loss. To seek win-win outcomes, you need to adopt a collaborative and cooperative mindset, and look for ways to expand the pie, rather than divide it. You can do this by generating multiple options, finding trade-offs, offering concessions, and creating synergies.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?