How do you use social identity and similarity to build relationships?

First, consider who you are, who you want to be and how you want to be seen. Remember that your social identity if a feedback to yourself from foremost your own perspective on how others see you. So, be nice to yourself, your "weaknesses" usually are hidden "strengths". Keep in mind, that changing others is not going to change their perception of you, so, look at your own biases and them challange them. People a drawn toward positive and inclusive language, shared goals, authenticity. Cultivate this traits. Be an active listener and remember that empathy goes a long way.

Finding common ground is an excellent conversation starter. Generally, people have more in common then setting them apart. Strong partnerships are based on strong foundations built on common ground. Its important to build a strong individual perception of yourself as if not you will be judged by the Groups you participate in. Be an Individual first and a group member second. Not the other way around.

Personally, I am a person devoid of Social Identity Biases based on Social Status, Ethnicity or 'In Group' based on these criteria. I believe more on the Similarity of Interests, Passion for the Concerned Project(s) to develop my In Group. The More Diverse my Group is, the More I get to learn in the process! That is how a Team should work. On the Contrary, many Managers would still prefer an Ethnicity based group because they are easier to 'Micro Manage' and 'Control' using Communication as a common tool here. However, if people are driven by a shared passion rather than just communication, I believe the work to be more effective in the long run where you do not have to Micro Manage activities.

Usually, similarity works as explained. But there are certain situation where being different actually is an attracting factor. I disagree that it has to be negative. The saying "opposites attract eachother" doesn't come out of nowhere. Surround yourself with people that have different traits to be able to learn from them and pass on learnings yourself.

Social Identity and similarity can be misused to gain someones trust by engaging in similar activities and mirroring behavior. Additionally, it strongly enables the creation of a social bubble where you only will come across opinions you tend to agree with. If you have only people that agree on everything, growth is impossible. Its a really bad trend to stop engaging with people that have different opinions and values. Only trough adversity we are capable to become better human beings.

The only way to build a relationship through social identity / similarity is to get to know and understand the other person. Understand how they talk and body language, share stories and interact on similar shared experiences. Do you know who they know? It's all about creating a conversation prior to going straight in to business mode. Empathy, listening and resilience.

Here are some of the key changes that must take place: Performance tracking needs to stop focusing on individual contribution and start focusing on team contribution Leadership objectives need to stop focusing on delegating responsibility and start focusing on influencing effective teamwork Performance metrics need to stop focusing on output/productivity and start focusing on increasing a ‘Culture of Belonging’ People Technology needs to convert from a closed architecture into a decentralized architecture that provides transparent analytics to all stakeholders