How do you use motivational interviewing to help parents set realistic goals for their children?

1 What are realistic goals?

Realistic goals are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART). They are based on the parents' and the children's values, needs, strengths, and preferences. They are not too easy or too hard, but challenging enough to motivate and inspire. They are also flexible and adaptable to changing circumstances and feedback. Realistic goals help parents and children focus on what they want to achieve, and how they can get there.

2 How to elicit goals from parents

Motivational interviewing requires skill in eliciting goals from parents, rather than imposing or prescribing them. This can be done by asking open-ended questions, listening reflectively, summarizing what is heard, and affirming the parents' efforts and abilities. Questions such as “What are some of the things you want for your child?”, “How would you like to see your child grow and develop in the next year?”, “What are some of the challenges or obstacles that prevent you from reaching your goals?”, “What are some of the strengths or resources that support you in achieving your goals?”, and “How confident are you that you can accomplish your goals?” can be asked to help parents set and reach their goals.

3 How to enhance motivation for change

Another key skill of motivational interviewing is to enhance motivation for change by exploring and resolving the parents' ambivalence. Ambivalence is the state of having mixed or conflicting feelings about something, such as wanting to change but also fearing or resisting it. To help parents overcome this, it is important to express empathy and acceptance without judging or blaming. It is also beneficial to highlight the discrepancy between their current situation and desired goals, as well as evoke their own reasons and benefits for change rather than telling or persuading them. Lastly, it is important to support the parents' autonomy and choice, rather than directing or controlling them.

4 How to plan and implement change

Once the parents have expressed their readiness and willingness to change, the next step is to plan and implement change. This involves helping the parents to break down their goals into smaller, more manageable steps and anticipate potential barriers and solutions. Additionally, it requires choosing and applying effective strategies and skills, monitoring and evaluating progress and outcomes, and celebrating successes while also learning from setbacks.

5 How to handle resistance and setbacks

Despite your best efforts, resistance and setbacks from the parents or children may arise during the process of change. Resistance is a sign of ambivalence and can present itself in various ways, while setbacks are inevitable and can lead to frustration, disappointment, or guilt. To handle these obstacles, you should not take them personally or react defensively. Instead, reflect and validate the parents' feelings and concerns, explore the sources and meanings of resistance and setbacks, reframe them as opportunities for learning and growth, and revisit and reaffirm the parents' goals and motivation.

6 How to maintain and sustain change

The final step of motivational interviewing is to maintain and sustain change, by supporting the parents and the children to continue their efforts and achievements. This includes reviewing and appreciating accomplishments and changes, identifying and addressing any remaining or emerging challenges or needs, seeking and utilizing social and professional support and resources, developing and practicing coping and relapse prevention skills, as well as setting new or revised goals for further improvement.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?