How do you stretch your coachees beyond their comfort zone with feedback?

1 Set clear expectations

Before you start giving feedback, make sure that you and your coachee have a shared understanding of the purpose, process, and outcomes of the coaching relationship. Explain how feedback is essential for their learning and development, and how you will provide it in a constructive and supportive way. Agree on the frequency, format, and scope of the feedback, and ask for their preferences and concerns. Setting clear expectations will help you build trust and rapport with your coachee, and reduce the potential for resistance or misunderstanding.

2 Use the SBI model

The SBI model is a simple and effective framework for giving feedback that focuses on the situation, behavior, and impact. The situation is the context or event where the behavior occurred. The behavior is the specific action or inaction that you observed. The impact is the effect or consequence of the behavior on yourself, others, or the goal. By using the SBI model, you can give feedback that is factual, objective, and relevant, and avoid vague, subjective, or judgmental statements. For example, instead of saying "You are not confident enough", you can say "In the presentation yesterday, you spoke very softly and looked down at your notes most of the time. This made it hard for the audience to hear and engage with your message."

3 Ask open-ended questions

One way to stretch your coachees beyond their comfort zone with feedback is to ask them open-ended questions that encourage them to reflect, explore, and discover their own solutions. Open-ended questions are questions that cannot be answered with a yes or no, and that start with words like what, how, why, when, where, or who. For example, after giving feedback using the SBI model, you can ask "How do you feel about your presentation skills? What do you think went well and what could be improved? How would you approach the next presentation differently?" Asking open-ended questions will help your coachees to develop self-awareness, critical thinking, and ownership of their actions.

4 Balance positive and negative feedback

Another way to stretch your coachees beyond their comfort zone with feedback is to balance positive and negative feedback. Positive feedback is feedback that recognizes and reinforces what your coachees are doing well, and that boosts their confidence and motivation. Negative feedback is feedback that points out what your coachees are doing wrong, and that challenges them to change and improve. Both types of feedback are necessary for your coachees to grow, but they need to be delivered in the right proportion and tone. A common rule of thumb is to use the 3:1 ratio, which means giving three positive feedbacks for every negative one. However, you should also consider the personality, needs, and goals of your coachee, and adjust your feedback accordingly.

5 Follow up and support

The last step to stretch your coachees beyond their comfort zone with feedback is to follow up and support them. Feedback is not a one-time event, but an ongoing process that requires consistent and timely communication. After giving feedback, you should check in with your coachee regularly to monitor their progress, celebrate their achievements, and address any challenges or concerns. You should also provide them with additional resources, guidance, or coaching interventions that will help them implement your feedback and reach their goals. By following up and supporting your coachee, you will show them that you care about their success, and that you are there to help them overcome any obstacles or fears.

6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?