How do you periodically review your conflict management assessment?

Conflict is inevitable but not all conflict is bad or should be avoided. In fact constructive conflict can lead to greater collaboration and long-lasting relationships. The Conflict Dynamics Profile (CDP) provides a behavioural lens to our constructive conflict behaviours versus destructive ones from both active and passive perspectives. When we become aware of and practice more constructive behaviours the result can lead to resolution of disputes and more productive relationships. I have taken the CDP assessment myself and was so impressed with this tool that I studied the assessment tool to become an accredited CDP assessor in order to provide support to others.

The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) was transformative for me. Prior to taking it, I believed my conflict approach was static. However, the TKI showcased the subtleties in my resolution styles, highlighting my tendencies towards competition, collaboration, compromise, avoidance, and accommodation. Understanding these modes has empowered me to navigate disagreements more mindfully, aligning my reactions with both the situation and my values. Moreover, it's not just about self-awareness; it helps me appreciate others' viewpoints, leading to more empathetic interactions. This awareness has significantly improved my interpersonal skills and conflict management.

There are more conflicts (both internal and external) we face in a day than we actually acknowledge. If you are in a leadership position, the view can sometimes be very different or one-sided. I have learnt to reflect a bit along these lines : Was the resolution effective or just short-term? Did I recognize major factors underlying the conflict ? Could it have been avoided in the first place? What was the trigger? Was there anything more I could have done? Refining the resolution approach by taking such input helps. Building trust, Active listening and Empathy are key skills for conflict resolution.

One thing I have noticed is... conflicts are (more often than not) differences of opinion stemming from various factors including those caused due to personality differences. Once we address these issues, conflicts automatically get resolved. Its more of a systematic resolution approach rather than a timely reassessment approach.

Managing conflict is not simply a matter of personal development. It's important for leaders to also assess organizational culture and the role it plays in team dynamics and individual members' receptivity to feedback and ability to manage conflict (which is inevitable). Where organizational culture invests in building and sustaining effective teams, practices good communication, values critical feedback, and cultivates diversity, disagreement rarely escalates to outright conflict. So, too, is it necessary for leaders to understand the differences between and effects of task, relational, and process conflict. Importantly, process conflict - disagreements about how we do things - is the most toxic form of conflict. Process matters!

Journaling after each heated disagreement became my path to self-awareness. I'd note the situation, my emotions, and the participants. Over time, patterns emerged: specific triggers, recurring emotions, and certain topics often leading to conflict. Writing down these instances illuminated underlying feelings and issues that exacerbated disputes. Comparing my journal insights with assessment results, I discerned both overlaps and differences. While assessments outlined my conflict tendencies, my journal painted a detailed picture of real-life scenarios. This reflection enhanced my self-awareness and equipped me with strategies to proactively navigate and lessen potential conflicts, seamlessly marrying theory with practice.

Reflection of self and the situation is extremely critical in conflict resolution. It helps us to understand the 'ifs' and 'buts' of a situation more closely. What I do personally,at times, is to replay the scenario in my mind often as a third person and gain insights from these.

I am still determining your question; It is like asking a Judge how you Judge your performance. You have to understand your biases, how you filter information and an appreciation of what are the antidotes for those biases. Were you empathetic to both sides and able to reframe the issue to resolve the real problem? Your success rate is a function of a successful resolution; if one party isn't satisfied, you'll know they will appeal. Like a Judge, your peers and staff will identify your successes or failures. Listen to office talk. Keep a record of the hearings? Critical for you and others (mentors) to review. The real skill is understanding, you cannot resolve beliefs. They are generally fixed; the skill is to reframe the issue & listen.

Compare the current assessment results with previous assessments to track progress and changes in conflict management effectiveness. Talk to employees and stakeholders to gather qualitative feedback on the conflict management process. Ask for suggestions on how to improve it.

Reflection leads to corrective action. I have realised that the gap between 'what is said' and 'what is intended to be said' creates a lot of chaos. Once we are more mindful of this step, resolution is easy.

Reflecting on my interactions, I identified gaps in my active listening and patience. I often formulated responses prematurely or became impatient with slow-moving conversations. To address this, I undertook coaching training focused on active listening. This training provided invaluable techniques to genuinely understand others without judgment. I also realized the deep connection between rest and self-control. Being well-rested significantly improved my capacity to listen with patience and respond with consideration.

Examine the data to identify any trends or patterns in conflict management. Look for recurring issues, successful strategies, and areas that may need improvement.

A blockade of a railway line by a group of indigenous peoples in Northern Ontario, Their claim was for clean water and schools. I knew I couldn't settle such a major claim, but saw their main purpose was to obtain publicity. We agree we would provide access to the media and they could maintain their demonstration for 2 days and then agreed to move. We reframed the dispute from breach of obligations to a need for their publicity on the issue.

Based on your analysis and feedback, establish clear goals for improving conflict management. These goals should be specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART).

Improving conflict resolution is crucial for leadership. Leaders encounter diverse perspectives, making disagreements natural. Handling these effectively transforms potential rifts into opportunities for growth. A leader adept at resolving conflicts fosters a culture of open dialogue, boosting team cohesion and morale. Individuals feel valued, promoting trust and collaboration. Efficiently addressing conflicts also prevents underlying issues from escalating. Furthermore, a leader's approach serves as a team blueprint, encouraging a positive attitude towards disputes. Essentially, refining conflict resolution skills strengthens teams and drives success.

Reassessing the way you handle conflict cannot be overstated. The enemy of growth is complacency, To know your conflict management style is a valuable tool. But, it's not what matters most. What is it that precipitates the need for the change? Focus on that reason and the how you felt when your conflict mediation principles failed. I reached a point a few years back where my conflict management style had to change. Before, I wasn't listening and my focus was solely on defending my position. I was sick of how this need to defend drove this closed-mind mentality. I began to listen to understand. It has helped reduce stress. Being in this receptive/learning mindset has given me the tools needed to grow and adapt over the years.

Some more options for conflict resolution: 1. Be more mindful of your words and actions. 2. Be very aware of non- verbal communication as much as verbal communication. 3. Practise listening skills without the need to reply. 4. Try to be non-judgemental of others. 5. Be aware of your boundaries and respectful of others. 6. Be empathetic....you never know what others are going through.

As an HR, I would emphasize a few key points : 1. Awareness is key 2. Assessment choice 3. Consider context, people involved (it's not a one-size-fits-all approach) 4. Review the assessment with a purpose (setting an intention) 5. Continuous improvement