How do you overcome resistance in coaching?

1 Understand the root causes

Resistance is often a sign of fear, insecurity, or discomfort that stems from underlying beliefs, emotions, or needs. Rather than judging or confronting your clients, try to understand what is holding them back and what they are trying to protect. Ask open-ended questions, listen empathically, and reflect back what you hear. Validate their feelings and acknowledge their strengths. By showing curiosity and compassion, you can build trust and rapport and help your clients feel more safe and supported.

2 Use the right coaching style

Different coaching styles suit different situations and clients. Depending on the level of resistance and readiness for change, you may need to adjust your approach and use different skills and techniques. For example, if your client is unaware or unwilling to change, you may need to use a directive style to raise awareness, challenge assumptions, and provide feedback. If your client is aware but unsure how to change, you may need to use a facilitative style to explore options, brainstorm solutions, and set goals. If your client is ready and able to change, you may need to use a supportive style to encourage action, celebrate progress, and address setbacks.

3 Align with their values and motivations

Resistance can also arise when your clients feel that the coaching goals or actions are not aligned with their values, motivations, or interests. To overcome this, you need to help your clients clarify what is important to them and why they want to change. You can use tools such as the values card sort, the wheel of life, or the motivation matrix to help your clients identify and prioritize their values and motivations. You can also use powerful questions, such as "What would it mean for you to achieve this goal?" or "How would this change benefit you and others?" to elicit their intrinsic motivation and commitment.

4 Co-create the coaching process

Another way to overcome resistance is to involve your clients in co-creating the coaching process and making it their own. This means giving them a sense of choice, control, and ownership over their goals, actions, and outcomes. You can do this by asking for their input, feedback, and preferences on how they want to be coached, what they want to work on, how they want to measure progress, and what support they need. You can also use the GROW model, the SMART framework, or the action plan template to help your clients structure and plan their coaching journey.

5 Handle objections and obstacles

Sometimes, resistance can surface as objections or obstacles that your clients raise or encounter along the way. These can be real or perceived barriers that prevent them from taking action or achieving their goals. To handle these, you need to help your clients overcome their limiting beliefs, fears, or excuses and find ways to cope with or overcome the challenges. You can use techniques such as reframing, scaling, probing, or brainstorming to help your clients shift their mindset, assess their situation, identify the root causes, and generate alternatives.

6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?