How do you negotiate with aggressive customers without losing your cool?

Remember, though, don't "read the mind" of a customer. Assumptions take us farther away from a customer's source issue than anything else. Listening actively means responding to what you interpret what they say, not agreeing with or mirroring their emotion. Tell them what you think you hear them saying, which shows you're open to their explanations and corrections to what may have come across.

One thing which helps when confronted with an aggressive customer is thinking back to the beginning of the relationship and asking some pertinent questions of yourself. 1) Did the relationship start out that way?, 2) Did you (your company) deliver on what you said you would?, 3) Are there other vendors feeling the same aggressiveness? While these are not the only questions you should be asking, they are a starting point to help understand the root cause of what might be going on. Confrontation is often a lack of clarity. Seeking clarity on what you brought to the situation is a good way to understand it.

Absolutely aggressive behaviour is generally based on how much effort it takes to get what one wants so listening and understanding the client and being true and real will reap plentiful rewards for both sides of the coin.

The two biggest calming influences are humor and quantifying. That is, allowing the customer to be their own relief valve. Humor from aggression is rare, but quantifying how many times something happened, or what specifically was lost, etc. helps a customer to shift from their emotion to match your more stable demeanor.

Meeting aggression with aggression is not going to solve anything. At the very best it only makes it worse. Staying calm, listening and asking questions which shows you are trying to understand the frustrations felt by the customer is often the very best course of action.

Boundary-setting establishes your emotional state. It's difficult to not respond in kind to a customer's emotion unless you have an opportunity to behave calmly. This is that opportunity. Be sure to have scripted responses to standard problems that customers have, citing where, how, and what you do.

The goal should be in de-escalating the situation. Only after the aggressiveness is abated can things move forward. This is only pertinent if you are able to move forward with a clear understanding of what you are willing to do. At no point should you ever allow yourself to become a "punching bag". Setting clear guardrails gives you the power to walk away knowing the fit may have not been right.

In my experience for this to work properly a clear understanding of the client’s strategy must be forefront. This will allow for proper negotiating and clear options that can be offered that aligns to the values of both client and perspective provider of said service. “Aggressive” is a word that simply describes a client that wants the best and it is up to the perspective provider to learn what that is before providing a solution. Only needs and concerns that are clearly understood can be accurately addressed and services can be “non-aggressively” accepted. Once this happens then and only then options, alternatives, and flexibility can be demonstrated through the mutual understanding of both parties agreeing.

Offering options within your own level of authority sends two very important signals to the customer: 1. You heard their concerns and will address them within you own level of responsibility. 2. You value them as a customer and are willing to go to bat for them and find solutions.

Agreement and confirmation are critcally important at this juncture. This is where the real work begins and solves issues down the road. Summarizing a "go forward" plan means everyone involved understands there is still value in working together AND both parties are willing to make changes in the quest for better outcomes. Get a plan to paper and both agree to it.

Almost all customers can be trained to be reasonable when you offer reasonable solutions. Rarely, but at least once every year, expect that a customer will either refuse to be reasonable or not respond well to your customer service. Don't change procedures that work for everyone else for the rare, inconsolable customer. It's not cost-effective or good for your own staff to be subjected to impossible situations.

In my 40 years of experience in customer service I learned that the customer is always right. In this rapid world of technology and social media, it’s very easy for negative comments to float online worldwide about any customer experience at your businesses. It’s best to have comments of great customer experiences. Remember, we want our customers to come back and spread good words about their experience at our businesses. Simply tell customers how much we value them having a good experience. Ask the customer with the problem, what could we do solve the issue and give them something complimentary to satisfy the customer that would want them to return. That would cost a lot less than bad advertising for your businesses globally.