How do you manage expectations and deliver negative feedback?

One thing I found helpful and applicable to most areas of life (workplace, relationships, parenting...) is to build a healthy relationship first, one based on trust, respect, support, guidance and unconditional care. As a leader, at home or at work, you must put the effort in establishing that connection first. Once, they feel trusted and cared for, those you manage will do anything to be up to the expectations (should be clear along the way) which makes it easier to give feedback. However, even when we are in an authority position, we must treat others like a business partner and use the right language to convey the message taking the personality style into consideration. (I rely on DISC profiling) The art of communicating is a talent!

Feedback, as they say, is a gift. Research bears this out, suggesting that it’s a key driver of performance and leadership effectiveness Negative feedback in particular can be valuable because it allows us to monitor our performance and alerts us to important changes we need to make. And indeed, leaders who ask for critical feedback are seen as more effective by superiors, employees, and peers, while those who seek primarily positive feedback All of these reactions are completely understandable. As renowned psychologist William Swann says that, when humans receive feedback that conflicts with our self-image, we “suffer the severe disorientation and psychological anarchy that occurs when we recognise that our very existence is threatened

When managing expectations I always try to communicate my expectations clearly and consistently. Also I usually ask clarifying questions to gain context and ask myself if the expectations are realistic, helpful and/or important.

I found it effective when i constantly engage the team on the agreed expectation to determine the shortfall. through that i make myself available for support as well provide timeously resources need for the team to achieve th eintented goals. in providing negative feedback, it is very important to commence with appreciating of all efforts and what was achieved remarkably. once we instill hope and trust within the team, then I ray out the possible areas that requires team efforts and type of support or development will be provided to ensure the team win.

Managing expectations and delivering negative feedback requires a great deal of interpersonal and management skill. First, do not make a negative feedback seem like a wrong attitude or a direct attack of personality. Share good intention only and say it solely depends on your perspective. Also show empathy and say how concern you want the improvement of the other person.

I disagree with the "feedback sandwich" approach. It dilutes important conversations. Instead of sandwiching important messages, we need people to develop the ability to have honest, direct, meaningful and supportive conversations. Managers need the necessary skills to give constructive feedback in a positive, developmental manner. Organizations must teach people how to give and receive feedback effectively.

Constructive feedback is always considered only when an individuals or teams performance goes down. However most of times it could be either Positive or Negative feedback. If we are focusing on the 4 key elements (4C Model) Context, Content, Consequences, and Change. this has helped me most of the times providing constructive feedback.

One of the most difficult aspects of being a leader is learning to calibrate the right amount of support and challenge for each individual on your team. First check to be sure you have done your job as a leader: have I built a relationship of trust so that I have the influence needed to bring challenge and have I clearly communicated reasonable expectations. Now I can bring challenge. The stage is set so that the individual knows I am "For Them" and want to see them succeed. It is important to bring challenge in a way that is objective and constructive, specifically targeting the problem and not the person. The individual should leave the conversation knowing exactly what to fix, and feeling like you are on their side.

Be specific and objective: Clearly identify the behavior or issue that needs improvement. Use specific examples to illustrate your point, focusing on facts rather than personal opinions or assumptions.

When providing negative feedback, it's recommended to follow the "BEST" principle: Behavior description, Express consequences, Solicit input, and Talk about positive outcomes. For example, if an employee frequently arrives late, when speaking to them: Start by describing the behavior: Instead of saying, "You're late again, aren't you?" you should say, "You were supposed to start at 9:00AM, but you arrived at 9:10AM." Express the consequences: Explain that arriving late violates company rules & regulations. Solicit input: Ask the employee, "What do you think should be done to improve?" Encouraging them to seek solutions themselves. Talk about future steps: Collaboratively discuss the improvement plan and how to proceed.

This combined with the "Mirror feedback" technique can dampen negativity. Mirror feedback is where you frame a question or statement and deliver it to your client so the receptor agrees with it verbally. So it appears they are in agreement with you. " So, Mr. Jones the situation as you see it is (fill in the problem)?

In my experience, people have a hard time conveying in words exactly what they are mean. Reflecting back what you’ve heard in the form of “what I’m hearing is…”, or “what I understand is…” can be very helpful and decreases the likelihood of misunderstandings and/or diminishing another’s feelings.

Always maintain respectful tone and communication. Take notes of the other person feedback and suggestions. Use "I" statements to express your observations and feelings, such as "I noticed that..." or "I feel concerned about...".

When giving feedback, it pays to balance courage and care. Courage, or being assertive, helps the other person become aware of what to improve. Giving hints or general statements and sugarcoating your message will not work. People hate fakery and appreciate sincerity, even when it hurts. Being assertive is not being aggressive. Aggression aims to hurt. Assertiveness aims to express thoughts and feelings. Use your assertiveness to help others too. Many times, people do what they do because they are not aware how they impact on others. By being assertive, we can help others take ownership and take action. Be kind but firm. Be tough but nice. There is no other way.

If you give feedback to your people because you honestly care about them, then naturally you will ask yourself the question: how can YOU as a manager help them to change? And if you honestly care about them, then you will naturally walk the talk of supporting them. CARE, real care, is key.

Once the hard conversation about performance has concluded the work is far from over. It starts with day to day treatment. The better people are treated day in and day out the better they are to respond to constructive criticism. Understanding people's situations and work style is imperative to having a meaningful conversation about performance or other workplace issues. The follow up is just as important as identifying the problem and discussing it. It is a fine line to walk, too much support can lead many to think you do not trust them to make the necessary adjustments or are micromanaging their day to day. Too little support, however, can allow them to fall back into bad habits. Understanding each employee is paramount.

I think if at the end of the meeting, you haven’t reached a consensus its a professional approach to acknowledge that. You can say, “We may not see eye to eye on this topic. But I hope you’ll consider incorporating my feedback and working to meet my expectations.

The main goal of delivering negative feedback is to help the person improve, not to criticize or demotivate them. Select the right time and place: Find a suitable time and private location to have a conversation with the person. Avoid delivering negative feedback in front of others, as it can be embarrassing and counterproductive.

Performance feedback, including both positive and negative feedback, is one aspect of performance management. To better manage expectations and provide (negative) feedback when needed, you need to approach this issue from the perspective of the entire performance management process. First, engage in effective communication and set reasonable goals (which should adhere to the SMART principles). Second, during the process, record critical events and provide timely coaching. Lastly, based on daily behavioral performance and the results of regular performance assessments, offer feedback promptly.