How do you manage conflict when emotions run high?

Once you have identified your triggers and developed coping mechanisms, the next aspect to consider is the power of emotional intelligence in navigating conflicts: Emotional intelligence encompasses the ability to recognize and understand your emotions, as well as the emotions of others. It involves being aware of how your emotions influence your thoughts and behaviors and how they impact the people around you. One key aspect of emotional intelligence is self-regulation. It builds upon the coping techniques mentioned earlier, allowing you to manage your emotions in real time during conflicts. With self-regulation, you can maintain your composure, think more clearly, and respond thoughtfully, even in tense situations.

Know what "makes you tick", and take a step back when you get close. You also need to be able to communicate your emotions in a professional way. Everyone is different and not a mind reader, it is important to work through these emotions to come to now angry or emotional outcomes.

Identifying triggers at work is crucial for folx with lived experience, especially those who have undergone past trauma. Depending on the root of your trauma, "simple" professional conflicts can become magnified, leading to an unsafe work environment. Though identifying triggers may seem challenging, as it intersects with personal growth, it remains essential. Knowing your triggers can help you establish and maintain boundaries and ensure a safe work environment. Conflict may feel overwhelming, being aware of your triggers can actually help resolve the conflict sooner. Self-awareness is a great tool for personal and professional growth.

Managing conflict when emotions run high requires a delicate and thoughtful approach; how to effectively handle conflicts in emotionally charged situations: Stay Calm and Composed Active Listening Acknowledge Emotions Take a Timeout Use "I" Statements Focus on the Issue, Not the Personalities Establish Common Ground Identify Underlying Needs Set Ground Rules Mediation Collaborative Problem-Solving Focus on the Future Follow Up .

I think most conflicts stem from the poor delivery of content and it escalates from there. So, we use our guiding principle of splitting conflict into two parts: 1. Agree/disagree with the content and 2. Object/accept the delivery We have found that once this process is agreed to and used well, an interesting dynamic occurs. Our discussion goes from conflict to conversation. We use SpatzAI.com to achieve this. Any advice on our approach appreciated?

Keep in mind that you are listening to understand not to respond, or even necessarily to agree. The ultimate goal is to have a better understanding of a perspective that is not your own. You can hold space for their thoughts and ideas without necessarily changing your own. This is how we stretch our understanding of the world.

Active listening can highlight commonalities between you and your conversation partner, if you remain aware enough to catch them. What might look like a conflict on the surface could really be a shared concern once you listen to what the other person is thinking and feeling. Just the act of actively listening and being able to summarize the other person's viewpoint can de-escalate a situation. It helps them accept that you are trying to work with them to find a solution.

Listen actively means not looking at or doing work on your phone or computer when someone is speaking. In other words, avoid distractions so you can focus on what the person is saying and how they feel.

Sounds easy yet is very difficult to do in practice. 95%+ of people believe themselves to be good listeners yet studies say that less than 25% efficiency is the norm. Assess at what level you actively listen, then set some behavioral goals to work towards (eg. for the next week I will focus on not interrupting whenever someone else is speaking). Remember 90% of what we learn is through listening.

Listening is the best skill you can learn as an employee and coworker. By listening, you are able to digest information from various points of view and utilize it to make a sounds decision. If you chose to not listen, you risk misunderstanding a variety of things which can hurt your work performance and outcomes.

This is an art. In conflict situations, when emotions run high, we tend to lose sight of perspectives and facts. Sticking to facts, using factual situation & behavior, explaining clearly its impact (e.g. I felt... ...") and not passing generalized comments are the key.

No matter how thoughtful we are, I believe it is inevitable that, on occasion we will get a little heated and tone and volume will rise. Spats will occur. So, rather than simply encouraging us to try behave well I suggest we start planning for when infringements occur. We have based our intervention toolkit around such events. I can't tell you how many post I have read where people encourage and hope we will all behave well but neglect to prepare for when the failure occurs and it will occur.

Professionalism is key here, you need to be able to mix both expressing yourself with containing it and presenting it in a professional way. Utilize HR to help out with ways to navigate complex emotional situations.

You could use "impact versus intent" when expressing yourself respectfully and managing conflict. For example, if someone says something that hurts your feelings, do not hesitate to tell them how it made you feel (i.e., how it impacted you). Then, you can ascertain their intent in making the statement. This is a respectful way of engaging in meaningful dialogue.

Absolutely! It's like a dance of communication, where we lead with confidence and grace! ?? Using "I" statements is a secret to owning our emotions and needs without pointing fingers. It's like a compass that guides us to emotional honesty! ?? When we focus on facts and behaviors, we build bridges of understanding. It's like creating a solid foundation for constructive dialogue! ??? And here's the magic: Stating our needs clearly, without aggression, opens doors to cooperation. It's like unlocking the door to win-win solutions! ???? Being open to compromise is like planting seeds of collaboration. It's the essence of teamwork and progress! ????

Putting yourself in the shoes of the other person and really trying to understand things from their perspective while suspending your own opinion and regulating your own emotions while you listen. Don't try to control their emotional response but rather to understand why. And whatever you do don't tell them to calm down.

Managing emotions sometimes involves not taking immediate action and delaying your response, especially when something or someone upsets you. It is helpful to take a step back to gather perspective and clarity. For instance, wait to hit the "reply" button if you receive an email that upsets you. Instead, take a break to calm down and craft a thoughtful response later.

I think it’s important to keep in mind people think, feel, and act differently than one another. Keeping your emotions in check allows respect of those who are different than you and opens up understanding and insight into why the conflict happened in the first place.

Emotions are really important… but, make them your servants, and teach them to inform you, to m rather than letting them be your masters, so they rule you.

Rather than "manage your emotions" we at Spatz have agreed that we manage each other's emotions and the resultant misbehavior that can occur. Yes, we agree that we are our brother's and sister's keeper. We use an intervention procedure for this where we can object to each other's infringements during a micro-conflict using a 3-step or phase app and peer-review network when required.

Seeking solutions fosters collaboration amongst the parties to develop a mutually beneficial resolution to the conflict. When folks collaborate, it often leads to innovative ideas.

Solutions based resolutions are a way to ensure that you are focusing on the end goal, one that is beneficial for all parties involved. The "Win-Win" mindset is how you should approach it. No one wants to feel like they have "lost" at work.

Solutions have to mostly meet the needs of both parties involved. If they don't parties may walk away in agreement yet may prove unsustainable when it comes to executing of any agreed terms.

Just as with a piece of art, the frame or setting in which we manage conflict can elevate or deteriorate our message. ? A private setting is always best. ? Preparation breeds professionalism. ? Facts always win the argument. ? Provide solutions for the problem. ? Remember it’s all about the team effort.

Depending on the situation, you may share the learning experience with others so they can learn from you and manage conflict effectively. Storytelling is an essential part of our learning journey.

Facts are important but... It's not about winning it's about gaining understanding amongst team members and improving outcomes. Facts are helpful for sure but building a team that trusts and executes it the most important thing.

I agree, holding each other to account is important. We use an agreed procedure using 3 levels of accountability ie acknowledge, a simple apology and an acceptable or heartfelt apology. I don't believe that spats, disputes or conflicts are a problem per se, but leaving them unresolved and the uncertainty that follows is.

In a healthy environment, confrontation is natural, and change is eventually necessary. As leaders, we must learn to welcome both, even though confrontation and change can be uncomfortable and exhausting. We must understand that confrontation is often an early sign of disruption, and the results of an effective confrontation can lead to clarity, innovation, and growth. When we are confronted, it often triggers an acute stress response, “Fight or Flight”, sparking a physiological reaction as if our lives are in danger. And yes, it can be scary, uncomfortable, and awkward, but aren’t these feelings a prerequisite for development and growth?

While it's good to find mutually beneficial solutions, that's not possible if you haven't taken the time to identify points of mutual agreement. Emotions quickly run high when talking about charged topics, but those emotions run even higher when you start feeling like you're working against someone you have nothing in common with. Before you know it, you find yourself in an adversarial battle escalating the emotional charge. Be intentional and take time to find that common ground before you step into the conversation. This is a proactive way to ensure you have the lighthouse to guide you back to common ground when emotions fire up.

According to the concepts of Choice Theory, all behavior is purposeful. Everything you do is your best attempt to get what you want, at that point in time with the information available to you. Getting what you want ultimately satisfies one or more of your five basic needs, which provides the motivation for all you do. Preserve All Relationships Because That’s What Matters Most.

I recommend the book "Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life" by Susan David. She shares how to navigate emotions to achieve success.

Educate yourself on neurodiversity and different learning styles as these play crucial role in how people identify and deal with their triggers. Inclusive social climate at your work place will only benefit from leaders that know how to manage neurodiversity and give people time and space to process triggers.