How do you maintain your composure in heated family debates?

Staying Calm is really important because silence is better sometimes than reacting to careless people. With my parents and family , I sometimes just speak to God and say "I'll give you to God."

Staying objective is the key if one doesn't want to feel or become a puppet of the family without knowing. Personal connections in a family, both direct and indirect at times avoid main points of interest to be the main concern. The more hidden they are the more intertwined all get makes issues impossible to deal with. Usually patience runs out before issues. As the family's hobby (usually) being more busy with time consuming stuff, I call it using an independent contractor, elders in most cases to prove point. The continuity of the issue means more than the solution. Usually younger members of the family tend to use elders' votes individually to impose their ideas to feel valuable in the eyes of imaginary supreme court of the family.

Listen first to the stand of the Family Member. I would not express any emotion saying any accountability or any thoughts unless that would provide a resolution to ab issue.

I would use any of the 5 Conflict Resolution approach deoending on the circumstance. Avoid if trivial, concede if I am wrong, collaborate if that would warrant a win-win solution, compromise if they are partly correct, arbitrate if I am correct.

Not all issues can be resolved, but generally I agree to a win-win solution, but where the actors manifest a narcissist demeanor or a bi-polar character, I would choose not to partake in the discussion, accept that there are areas which I cannot win over.

Learning to listen and understand the other perspectives can be useful. Talking to each other rather than at each other can help to cool down the heated atmosphere. Instead of shouting back why not practice really trying to listen and understand the point being made and allow for a calmer attitude to replace the shouting match? Refusing the bait of insisting you match the voice pitch of the other person takes self restraint and control especially when the entire situation is quite irritating. You need to understand that you don't need to win every argument. Sometimes it is better to keep quiet and allow the situation summer down.

Empathy is trying to understand before you seek to be understood. It is putting yourself into the other persons thoughts and emotions to feel what they feel which helps you better understand from their perspective. This helps to manage the emotions and words that are being expressed during the conflict resolution.

Being calm before a storm and during a storm is vital for survival. In as much as one wishes to be emphatic, the individual should always approach these debates with a group mindset, trying not to judge but rather understand what the debate or argument is all about. Never single yourself out from (the *I* or singular mindset) the group. Calmness brings clarity and peace while anger brings resentment and accusations.

Empathy can be applied in simple issues to understand and wear their shoes, but what if I am the victim and there is legal right that I have to assert? Basic is to listen and understand the legal basis, ethical, moral and spiritual ramification of an argument. Only then will I make a decison whether one can.give up a right.

Famalies fight mostly on hereditary rights. It depends actually on the character of the players. If I am equally blessed and abundantly provided by the exercise of my profession, I would give up fighting or arguing with any family member. Mental health is my prime concern. If an issue would not add to my value as a person, or my action would not magnjfy a family member or any one, I would just distance myself from an emotionally draining conversation.