As a life coach, you want to help your clients achieve their goals and overcome their challenges. But sometimes, you may feel that the coaching relationship is no longer serving them or you. How do you know when it's time to end a coaching relationship? Here are some signs and tips to help you make this decision.
One of the main reasons to end a coaching relationship is when your client is not making any progress. This could be due to various factors, such as lack of motivation, commitment, or readiness for change. If you have tried different approaches, tools, and strategies, but your client is still stuck, it may be time to let them go. You can suggest other resources, referrals, or support options that might suit them better.
While lack of progress is an excellent topic to be considered, the coach and client should have noticed this trend before it was realized. So, before you stop the sessions, please take these steps. A) Frequency of the sessions B) Follow the client's lead C) Invest in your learning and preparation D) 360 Assessments These four points should all be considered before we get to a point where a client is not making progress. Can it happen that a client stops making progress? Yes. But what contribution did the coach have to this condition? Now go ahead and #LEADPerpetually.
When coaching men, we have a tendency to cut through many of the niceties and get to the heart of the matter. Here lies a reality when coaching, which is, that some individuals aren't ready! So, naturally, it can absolutely appear like there is no progress. Clients must be prepared to battle with their thoughts (the enemy of change), and the inclinations to settle back into a place of diminutive returns. Lastly, clients must make a decision to come ready and engage in their own progress. Openness, honesty, and being vulnerable are obvious resources and tools that can bring forth mighty and powerful results
Another sign that the coaching relationship is not working is when there is a loss of trust between you and your client. Trust is essential for effective coaching, as it allows both parties to be open, honest, and respectful. If your client is not trusting you, or you are not trusting them, the coaching process will be hindered. You may notice that your client is withholding information, lying, or avoiding feedback. Or you may feel that your client is not respecting your boundaries, time, or expertise. In these cases, it may be best to end the relationship with integrity and professionalism.
Trust is earned over time, but it is lost in an instant. The integrity of coaching must never be violated. Coaches are not mentors or managers. Often clients will ask for advice and opinions. If a coach decides to share their preferences, they are doing at the risk of alienating a client. Once we lose trust or respect, it’s hard to recover, and it may be best for the client to go somewhere else.
Sometimes, you may discover that your values and beliefs are not aligned with your client's. This can create a conflict of interest, a lack of rapport, or a misunderstanding of expectations. For example, you may have different views on ethics, spirituality, or politics. Or you may have different goals or visions for the coaching outcome. While it is possible to coach someone who has different values than you, it can also be challenging and stressful. You may want to consider if you can still provide value and support to your client, or if you would be better off referring them to someone else.
It is an important skill as a qualified coach to not pollute a client’s space. Therefore if there is something you don’t agree with when it comes to values - it is not your place to say as such. Scheduling a call, outside of a client session to speak with the client about your concerns needs to happen in a respectful and dignified way. Clear is kind and kind is clear. You need to state that you would prefer to refer them to another coach as you believe there is a clash of values. If you cannot put your feelings aside during a coaching session - this is problematic, however.
Another reason to end a coaching relationship is when you feel burned out or bored. Coaching can be rewarding, but it can also be demanding and draining. If you are feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, or frustrated by your coaching work, you may need to take a break or reduce your workload. You may also feel bored if you are no longer challenged, inspired, or interested by your client's situation. This can affect your enthusiasm, creativity, and effectiveness as a coach. You may want to reevaluate your niche, your ideal client, or your coaching style.
Coaches should always be checking in with their clients about the progress they feel they are making. Equally - they should be checking in with themselves about the work they are, or are not enjoying. Nine of the coaches feelings should be translated to the client. It is your job as a coach to honour your contract, reflect and review and then bring in clients over time that are more aligned to your needs / niche. Again - coaches should be qualified and trained. The supervised hours and guidance should help them decipher their preferred work, before they are client facing.
Finally, you may want to end a coaching relationship when your client has completed their goals, or when they are ready to transition to a different stage of their journey. This is a positive and natural way to end a relationship, as it signifies that your client has achieved what they wanted, and that they are confident and independent enough to move on. You can celebrate their success, acknowledge their growth, and provide feedback and recommendations for their future. You can also maintain contact and follow up with them, if appropriate.
If coaches take a project approach to their engagement, the end of transitions is expected and celebrated. But that does not automatically mean that the coaching relationship is over. That means that a milestone has been achieved. Every project has a start date, end date, and objectives. At the beginning of every coaching engagement, coaches must establish those and discuss what success looks like for the client. When we are clear, the end of a transition is not the end of the coaching. It’s the end of that specific phase. That is why having 2 or 3 objectives for a coaching season is always good. Having more items to work on will be easier when you can help the client see their improvements for the given topic.