How do you handle conflict and disagreement among your executive colleagues? This is a crucial question for any leader who wants to build trust and rapport in the context of executive management. In this article, you will learn some practical tips and strategies to deal with challenging situations and foster a positive and productive work environment.
The first step to handle conflict and disagreement is to understand the root cause of the issue. Is it a matter of different opinions, values, goals, or expectations? Is it a personal or professional conflict? Is it a communication breakdown or a misunderstanding? By identifying the source of the problem, you can avoid jumping to conclusions, making assumptions, or blaming others. You can also empathize with the other person's perspective and find common ground.
I try to use techniques I learned from the M.I.T.- Harvard joint executive education program on negotiation. When facing a difficult conversation "going to the balcony" is the most critical skill I learned. Basically you must manage your own emotions and the emotions of the other party so that you can get to a joint solution where both parties are satisfied. In short you have to be the adult in the room and not get triggered. I have found actually that meditation helps me be a better listener during high stakes conflicts. Exercise is important too.
I agree, with any conflict you need to listen to the other side and see what compromise you can offer and negotiate what they are willing to consider.
The second step to handle conflict and disagreement is to listen actively and respectfully to the other person's point of view. This means paying attention to their words, tone, body language, and emotions. It also means asking open-ended questions, clarifying any doubts, and summarizing what you heard. By listening actively and respectfully, you can show that you care about the other person's feelings and opinions, and that you are willing to understand their position and needs.
Always try to approach the problem as a team. For example: if a colleague confronts you with a problem, it may feel like (or be presented as) a personal attack. Agree with the premise, and then take a genuine look at the situation from their point of view. Is there merit to their objection? Did your behavior help or hinder the team’s progress? Is there an obstacle that can be avoided or removed to reach a solution? Empathy is a great way to diffuse an argument to get the team back on track. Validating an upset colleague and looking at the situation from their perspective is a good way to them know you are trying to achieve the same goal.
As leaders we think many of us; including myself, need to have the answers and have determined the solution immediately. Instead of listening to the other person completely and allow for absorption. Allowing your team to come up with the solutions, make a stronger team and many times better than what you would have thought alone. #teamwork #dreamwork #collaboration #listen
The third step to handle conflict and disagreement is to express your thoughts and feelings in a clear and constructive way. This means using "I" statements, such as "I feel", "I think", or "I need", instead of "you" statements, such as "you are", "you should", or "you always". It also means focusing on the facts, the behaviors, and the outcomes, rather than the personalities, the motives, or the intentions. By expressing your thoughts and feelings, you can share your perspective and expectations, and avoid personal attacks or criticism.
My many years of experience has taught me when dealing with conflict you both need to listen to each other. I use statements like; I understand how you feel, many have felt the same way and If this happened again, how would you approach this situation differently? I am so happy we can discuss this issue and come up with a solution together, for the next time. Remember every employee, no matter what their position is, wants and needs coaching with empathy and positive feedback from their managers and supervisors. By praising your employees for a job well done, openly and consistently coach quickly and quietly, will make for happier employees.
The fourth step to handle conflict and disagreement is to seek a win-win solution that satisfies both parties. This means exploring different options, brainstorming ideas, and compromising on some aspects. It also means emphasizing the positive aspects, the shared interests, and the mutual benefits of the solution. By seeking a win-win solution, you can demonstrate your willingness to cooperate, collaborate, and respect the other person's needs and preferences.
The fifth step to handle conflict and disagreement is to follow up and follow through on the agreed solution. This means checking in with the other person, giving feedback, and acknowledging progress. It also means keeping your promises, meeting your deadlines, and fulfilling your responsibilities. By following up and follow through, you can show your commitment, accountability, and reliability, and build trust and rapport with the other person.
The sixth and final step to handle conflict and disagreement is to learn and grow from the experience. This means reflecting on what went well, what went wrong, and what can be improved. It also means seeking feedback, asking for advice, and taking action to enhance your skills and knowledge. By learning and growing, you can develop your emotional intelligence, your communication skills, and your leadership abilities, and become a more effective and respected executive.