How do you establish trust when de-escalating?

1 Be empathetic

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person. It is not the same as sympathy, which is feeling sorry for someone. Empathy means putting yourself in their shoes and acknowledging their perspective, even if you do not agree with it. When you are empathetic, you show the other person that you care about them and their situation, and that you are not judging them or dismissing them. This can help you build rapport and lower their defensiveness.

2 Be respectful

Respect is the act of treating someone with dignity and courtesy, regardless of their behavior or attitude. It means using polite language, listening attentively, avoiding interruptions, and addressing them by their preferred name or title. It also means respecting their boundaries, personal space, and privacy. When you are respectful, you show the other person that you value them as a human being and that you are not trying to dominate or humiliate them. This can help you reduce hostility and resentment.

3 Be honest

Honesty is the quality of being truthful and sincere. It means being clear about your intentions, your role, and your limits. It also means admitting your mistakes, apologizing when necessary, and not making promises that you cannot keep. When you are honest, you show the other person that you are not hiding anything, that you are accountable for your actions, and that you are not trying to manipulate or deceive them. This can help you increase credibility and confidence.

4 Be supportive

Support is the act of providing assistance, encouragement, or comfort to someone in need. It means offering practical solutions, helpful resources, or positive feedback. It also means acknowledging their strengths, validating their feelings, and expressing your concern. When you are supportive, you show the other person that you are not indifferent, that you are on their side, and that you want to help them. This can help you enhance cooperation and motivation.

5 Be consistent

Consistency is the quality of being reliable and predictable. It means following through with your words and actions, maintaining your standards and expectations, and applying the same rules and procedures to everyone. It also means being calm and composed, avoiding emotional reactions, and not changing your mind or your tone abruptly. When you are consistent, you show the other person that you are not arbitrary, that you are fair and impartial, and that you are not influenced by external factors. This can help you establish authority and stability.

De-escalation is not a one-time event, but a process that requires time, patience, and skill. By establishing trust with the other person, you can create a positive and productive environment for dialogue, problem-solving, and resolution. Trust is not something that you can demand or assume, but something that you can earn and maintain. How do you establish trust when de-escalating? Share your tips and experiences with us.

6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?