How do you end a mentoring relationship that is not working out?

Actually I disagree with seeking feedback from a colleague, particularly if you and your mentee are in the same organization, as this can impact trust.

If a mentoring relationship is not working out, it is important to handle the situation with care and professionalism. One approach could be to have an open and honest conversation with the mentor to discuss your concerns and reasons for wanting to end the relationship. It is important to communicate respectfully and express gratitude for the time and effort the mentor has invested. Additionally, offering to provide feedback on ways to improve the mentoring program or suggestions for future matches can be beneficial. Ultimately, ending a mentoring relationship that is not working out is about being honest, respectful, and constructive in order to maintain positive relationships and opportunities for growth.

Based on my past experiences, I have found that maintaining clarity and direct communication with a mentoring partner when encountering issues is an efficacious approach to resolving potential conflicts that could jeopardize the stability of the mentoring relationship. Furthermore, this approach affords both parties the opportunity for self-reflection and introspection when the mentorship eventually concludes, particularly if the termination is initiated by one of the partners.

When ending a mentoring relationship, it's important to negotiate an exit strategy that respects both parties. Discuss and agree on the terms of departure, such as notice period and the completion of ongoing tasks. Ensure clear communication about the transition with any involved parties. Reflect on and evaluate the mentoring experience, focusing on lessons learned and achievements. Deciding how to maintain contact post-relationship can help preserve valuable connections and continue learning from the experience.

If the end is mutual, consider asking for constructive feedback on what you could do differently in your communication or your approach.

A risk-free way of setting up future mentoring relationships is to make them closed-ended. That is to say, after an initial meeting to see if there is a mutual fit, agree on a fixed number of mentoring sessions, perhaps once per month for 4-6 months. This allows either party to allow the relationship to naturally sunset without fear of offending the other.

I don't agree with Farhan's approach. Why would someone look for a "risk-free" approach to mentoring? That sounds like a very defensive stance to something that is designed to be mutually beneficial. I wouldn't want to be mentored by someone that defensive, and I've been mentored by some horrible people! If I knew someone only wanted a fixed number of sessions with me, I'd be offended. When one of both parties decide to what's called, "separate", its a discussion, not a natural dissolution or "sunsetting".