How do you end a mentoring relationship smoothly?

Ending a mentoring relationship smoothly involves clear communication and mutual understanding. Initiate an open and honest conversation, expressing gratitude for the mentorship. Gradually transition responsibilities and reduce dependency to foster independence. Acknowledge the mentor's impact and offer constructive feedback. Agree on a timeline for the formal conclusion, ensuring both parties feel satisfied with the mentorship's outcome. Celebrate accomplishments and express optimism for the mentee's future endeavors. Maintain a connection, fostering a professional relationship beyond the formal mentoring period. A graceful exit ensures a positive legacy, fostering continued growth and collaboration for both mentor and mentee.

For formal mentoring programs, most of these elements are already defined and the first meeting is mostly about identifying what can make the mentoring partnership more organic while still keeping in mind some rules between the mentor and mentee. For informal mentoring, defining these parameters will help guide the progress and promote accountability between the mentor and mentee. Identifying the goals, duration, frequency of meetings and communication channels also help shape the overall mentoring experience.

Yes, setting clear expectations from the beginning certainly helps to define when the mentoring relationship is expected to end. However, it can be a challenge to set specific expectations if you don't have a lot of experience with mentoring relationships. If aspects of the mentoring relationship such as goals, duration and meeting frequency aren't decided and communicated to you be sure to discuss them thoroughly and explicitly with your mentoring partner. While setting ground rules and expectations can feel a bit awkward at first, these discussions pave the way for a deeper, more trusting, and more effective mentoring relationship down the road.

It is also important to have a milestone check at the middle of the mentoring. This allows the mentor and mentee to reflect on where they are around the goals set at the beginning, and also identify any necessary adjustments to make sure that they are moving towards accomplishing these goals. This will help the transition process eventually.

Preparation to the extent suggested here is great . . . if you can set aside the significant amount of time to do it well. An easier approach for many of us is to keep digital notes with sections such as "accomplishments," "challenges," "important insights," etc. that you update throughout your mentoring relationship. Then, pulling together a plan for your closing meeting is much easier!

In my experience, testimonials play a big role in creating a culture of mentoring. Any expression of gratitude (both privately and publicly) plays a big role in a healthy closure. Sometimes, it's not even about having all of the goals accomplished because some partnerships might end for reasons that are not expected, but celebrating the time, effort, and energy from both the mentor and mentee goes a long way. This will keep the relationship positive and allows for the availability of positive opportunities in the future.

I feel this is the most critical step. Good closure builds good memories. Celebrate a closure. Orchestrate value to the space you shared during this mentoring period. Showcase gratitude and refer the person. The biggest value is showcased through action and not just words. So refer and promote the person to others for his/her strengths.

Don't forget to ask for what you need in terms of celebration. If you feel like a testimonial on LI is a great way to showcase your successes, ask your mentoring partner if they will write one. Or, you might think that recognition in a team or department meeting would feel great - so ask! Be proud of what you have done and don't make your mentoring partner guess at the best way to celebrate you.

In addition to all of the wonderful and fulfilling ways a mentoring relationship might evolve - it's also acceptable to move away from an ongoing connection if that is what you prefer. Just be clear when communicating what your expectations are, and why, so your mentoring partner has clarity.

A strong connection between mentor and mentee often lasts beyond the program's end. Expressing the intent to stay connected maintains this bond, keeping the communication open between both parties.

Formal mentoring programs normally have a feedback mechanism that makes evaluation easier. For informal mentoring, this can be as simple as asking what's the best part of the mentoring experience, and also the aspects that both parties can improve on.

You might not need a singular, dedicated mentor for eternity. Your need for mentorship might peak around pursuing a promotion or raise or launching your job search. And at those times, you might benefit from a wide array of advocates and mentors. But after your big move, those relationships might not be as high a priority. Mentorship isn't meant to be monogamous, nor is it meant to last forever, so don't feel like you're failing if a certain relationship isn't providing mutual value anymore. Thank your mentor for the growth, and let them know that you look forward to seeing what they do in the future.

This is a very important component of being a great mentor. What did you do well? What would you do differently next time? How could you be even better? You can use self-reflection and/or ask the mentee for their feedback.

In my experience I have always reminded the mentee along the way through email messages and at the end of each session I will remind them in person or verbally of the approaching closure. It is also important to stay true to the process by sticking to the timelines no matter except in the case of life threatening emergencies. Once you begin to move dates and sessions this compromises closure and creates an unwritten expectation. It is therefore important to incorporate constant reminders using a variety of ways such as excel spreadsheet where all actions are logged and flagged as either complete/in progress/overdue/outstanding, this can be sent via email and stored in a central co-working space such as google drive.