How do you de-escalate in virtual communication?

1 Identify the problem

The first step to de-escalate in virtual communication is to identify the problem or the source of conflict. Sometimes, the problem is obvious, such as a customer complaint, a negative review, or a personal attack. Other times, the problem is more subtle, such as a misunderstanding, a miscommunication, or a difference of opinion. To identify the problem, you need to listen actively, ask open-ended questions, and clarify any assumptions or expectations. You also need to avoid making judgments, accusations, or assumptions about the other person's motives, feelings, or intentions.

2 Acknowledge the emotions

The second step to de-escalate in virtual communication is to acknowledge the emotions that are involved in the conflict or crisis. Emotions are natural and valid responses to any situation, and they can influence how people communicate and behave. However, emotions can also cloud the judgment, impair the reasoning, and trigger the defensive or aggressive reactions. To acknowledge the emotions, you need to empathize with the other person, express your understanding and respect, and validate their feelings and concerns. You also need to manage your own emotions, and avoid reacting impulsively, emotionally, or defensively.

3 Reframe the situation

The third step to de-escalate in virtual communication is to reframe the situation or the perspective of the conflict or crisis. Reframing is the process of changing the way you or the other person view or interpret the situation, and finding a common ground or a positive outcome. Reframing can help to reduce the negative emotions, increase the cooperation, and foster the problem-solving. To reframe the situation, you need to use positive and constructive language, focus on the facts and the solutions, and emphasize the shared goals and interests.

4 Resolve the issue

The fourth step to de-escalate in virtual communication is to resolve the issue or the cause of the conflict or crisis. Resolving the issue means finding a way to address the needs and expectations of both parties, and reaching a mutually acceptable agreement or outcome. Resolving the issue can help to restore the trust and the rapport, and prevent the recurrence or escalation of the problem. To resolve the issue, you need to negotiate and compromise, offer and accept feedback, and follow up and follow through.

5 Maintain the relationship

The fifth step to de-escalate in virtual communication is to maintain the relationship or the connection with the other person. Maintaining the relationship means ensuring that the communication is respectful, courteous, and professional, and that the conflict or crisis does not damage or ruin the relationship. Maintaining the relationship can help to enhance the reputation and the credibility, and create a positive and lasting impression. To maintain the relationship, you need to apologize and forgive, express gratitude and appreciation, and provide support and assistance.

6 Learn from the experience

The sixth and final step to de-escalate in virtual communication is to learn from the experience or the outcome of the conflict or crisis. Learning from the experience means reflecting on what went well and what went wrong, and identifying the strengths and weaknesses of your communication skills. Learning from the experience can help to improve your de-escalation skills, and prepare you for future situations and scenarios. To learn from the experience, you need to evaluate and assess your performance, seek and apply feedback, and set and achieve goals.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?