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How do you cope with the stress or anxiety of having difficult conversations with employees?

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As a line manager, you may have to deal with difficult conversations with employees from time to time. Whether it's about performance issues, feedback, conflicts, or personal problems, these conversations can be stressful and challenging for both parties. How can you handle them effectively and compassionately, without compromising your role and authority? Here are some tips to help you prepare and conduct difficult conversations with employees.

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1 Set a clear goal

Before you initiate a difficult conversation, you need to have a clear goal in mind. What is the purpose of the conversation? What do you want to achieve or communicate? How do you want the employee to feel or respond? Having a clear goal will help you structure your message, choose your tone, and avoid unnecessary or irrelevant details. It will also help you stay focused and avoid getting sidetracked by emotions or distractions.

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2 Choose the right time and place

Timing and location are important factors for a successful difficult conversation. You want to choose a time and place that is convenient, private, and respectful for both of you. Avoid scheduling the conversation at the end of the day, before a weekend, or during a busy or stressful period. You also want to avoid public or noisy places, where you may be interrupted or overheard by others. Ideally, you want to have the conversation face-to-face, in a neutral and comfortable setting, where you can both sit down and have eye contact.

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M?d?lina Marinca?

Management Consultant & Trainer, Structuring Growth for Individuals, Teams & Organizations | Professional Coach
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Ask yourself: when is the most suitable period I could have this conversation and come up with some slots? Ask your team members the same thing. When asking about their availability, briefly tell them what the conversation will be about, so that they can choose having some details at hand.

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3 Listen and empathize

One of the most important skills for a line manager is to listen actively and empathize with the employee. This means that you pay attention to what they say, how they say it, and how they feel. You also acknowledge their perspective, feelings, and concerns, without judging or dismissing them. Listening and empathizing will help you build rapport, trust, and understanding with the employee. It will also help you identify the root causes of the issue, and find common ground for a solution.

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4 Be clear and respectful

Another essential skill for a line manager is to be clear and respectful in your communication. This means that you use simple, direct, and specific language, without being vague, ambiguous, or aggressive. You also use positive and constructive feedback, rather than criticism or blame. You also respect the employee's dignity, autonomy, and rights, without being patronizing, manipulative, or coercive. Being clear and respectful will help you convey your message, expectations, and outcomes, without creating defensiveness, resentment, or confusion.

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Jenna Kashcheeva SPHR, SHRM-CP

Global HR | Startup Master | Global HR | People Operations | Passionate Dog Lover | I DO NOT HIRE OR RECRUIT |
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I found it helpful to offer an opportunity to succeed instead of concentrating on negative aspects. This way, the message is still conveyed that the action needs to be taken in order to improve performance but employees are more motivated and encouraged when they are guided toward success, not away from failure.

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5 Seek agreement and follow-up

The final step for a difficult conversation is to seek agreement and follow-up with the employee. This means that you summarize the main points of the conversation, confirm your understanding, and agree on the next steps or actions. You also express your appreciation, support, and confidence in the employee, and invite them to share any questions or feedback. You also follow-up with the employee after a reasonable period of time, to check on their progress, provide additional guidance, or celebrate their achievements.

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How do you cope with the stress or anxiety of having difficult conversations with employees?

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1 Set a clear goal

2 Choose the right time and place

3 Listen and empathize

4 Be clear and respectful

5 Seek agreement and follow-up

Line Management

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