How do you avoid backlash after de-escalating?

1 Acknowledge their feelings

One of the most important steps in de-escalation is to show empathy and respect for the other person's emotions. Even if you disagree with their actions or opinions, you can still acknowledge that they are feeling angry, frustrated, or hurt. This can help them feel heard and validated, and reduce their defensiveness. However, acknowledging their feelings does not mean that you have to apologize, agree, or give in to their demands. You can still assert your boundaries and goals without dismissing or invalidating their feelings.

2 Follow up with them

Depending on the context and the relationship, you may want to follow up with the other person after de-escalating the situation. This can help you show that you care about them, that you are willing to listen to their concerns, and that you are open to finding a solution. You can also use this opportunity to clarify any misunderstandings, address any unresolved issues, or offer any support or resources. Following up with them can also help you monitor their behavior and mood, and prevent any potential backlash.

3 Reinforce positive behavior

Another way to avoid backlash after de-escalating is to reinforce any positive behavior that the other person shows. For example, you can praise them for calming down, cooperating, or compromising. You can also reward them with incentives, privileges, or recognition. Reinforcing positive behavior can help you build rapport and trust with the other person, and motivate them to continue behaving in a constructive and respectful way. It can also help you reduce any negative feelings or perceptions that they may have towards you or the situation.

4 Set clear expectations

Sometimes, backlash may occur because the other person does not understand or agree with the expectations that you have for them. For example, they may think that you are being unfair, unreasonable, or inconsistent. To avoid this, you need to set clear expectations for them after de-escalating the situation. You need to explain what you want them to do, why you want them to do it, and what will happen if they do or do not do it. You also need to make sure that they understand and accept the expectations, and that you follow through with them.

5 Seek feedback and support

Finally, you can avoid backlash after de-escalating by seeking feedback and support from others. You can ask for feedback from the other person, from your colleagues, or from your supervisor. You can also seek support from your friends, family, or a professional. Seeking feedback and support can help you improve your de-escalation skills, identify any areas of improvement, and learn from your experience. It can also help you cope with any stress, emotions, or trauma that you may have experienced during or after the situation.

6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?