How do you address confidence gaps with feedback?

1 Understand your feedback style

Feedback is not a one-size-fits-all process. Different people have different preferences, needs, and reactions to feedback. Some may prefer direct and constructive criticism, while others may need more praise and encouragement. Some may seek feedback proactively, while others may avoid it or dread it. Knowing your feedback style can help you identify your strengths and weaknesses, as well as your triggers and biases, when it comes to receiving and giving feedback. You can use self-assessment tools, such as the Feedback Style Quiz, to discover your feedback style and how it affects your confidence.

2 Ask for specific and actionable feedback

One of the main reasons why feedback can cause confidence gaps is that it is vague, irrelevant, or unhelpful. Feedback that is too general, such as "good job" or "needs improvement", does not tell you what you did well or what you need to change. Feedback that is not related to your goals, expectations, or criteria, does not help you measure your progress or performance. Feedback that is not actionable, such as "be more confident" or "work harder", does not give you any guidance or direction on how to improve. To avoid these pitfalls, you should ask for specific and actionable feedback that focuses on your behaviors, skills, and outcomes, rather than your personality, traits, or potential. You should also ask for feedback that is timely, relevant, and balanced, meaning that it includes both positive and negative aspects.

3 Reframe feedback as a learning opportunity

Another reason why feedback can undermine your confidence is that you perceive it as a judgment, a threat, or a failure. Feedback that is harsh, unfair, or personal can make you feel attacked, defensive, or ashamed. Feedback that is inconsistent, contradictory, or unclear can make you feel confused, frustrated, or doubtful. Feedback that is negative, critical, or challenging can make you feel discouraged, disappointed, or inadequate. To overcome these negative emotions, you should reframe feedback as a learning opportunity, rather than a verdict. Feedback is not a reflection of your worth, but a source of information, insight, and improvement. Feedback is not a punishment, but a challenge to grow, learn, and achieve. Feedback is not a failure, but a feedback loop that helps you adjust, adapt, and advance.

4 Apply feedback to your goals and actions

One of the most effective ways to use feedback for confidence building is to apply it to your goals and actions. Feedback that is not followed by action is wasted and meaningless. Feedback that is followed by action is empowering and rewarding. To apply feedback to your goals and actions, you should first review the feedback and identify the key points, themes, and suggestions. Then, you should compare the feedback to your goals and assess how it aligns with or deviates from them. Next, you should prioritize the feedback and decide which aspects are most important, urgent, or feasible to address. Finally, you should create an action plan that outlines the steps, resources, and support you need to implement the feedback and achieve your goals.

5 Seek feedback from diverse and credible sources

The last strategy to address confidence gaps with feedback is to seek feedback from diverse and credible sources. Feedback that comes from only one source, such as your boss, your colleague, or yourself, can be biased, incomplete, or inaccurate. Feedback that comes from multiple sources, such as your customers, your peers, your mentors, or your coach, can be more balanced, comprehensive, and reliable. To seek feedback from diverse and credible sources, you should first identify the areas, skills, or outcomes you want feedback on. Then, you should select the sources that have the relevant knowledge, experience, or perspective to provide feedback on those areas, skills, or outcomes. Next, you should ask for feedback using clear, specific, and respectful questions or requests. Finally, you should evaluate the feedback and consider the source's credibility, motivation, and intention.

Feedback can be a powerful tool for confidence building, if you know how to address confidence gaps with feedback. By understanding your feedback style, asking for specific and actionable feedback, reframing feedback as a learning opportunity, applying feedback to your goals and actions, and seeking feedback from diverse and credible sources, you can use feedback to enhance your confidence, rather than erode it.

6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?