How do you adapt your communication style to different emotional needs and preferences?

As a recruiter, it's crucial to recognise that recruiting isn’t just assessing job descriptions and screening CVs. We can ask the usual questions about salary expectations, desired flexibility, and future aspirations, but these often scratch the surface. Questions like, 'How’s your relationship with your current boss and colleagues like?' or 'What aspects of your job & work environment do you find appealing or challenging?' are essential. They help establish an emotional connection with the candidate, allowing recruiters to become trusted partners in guiding candidates towards a better professional destination. In the recruiting world, EI isn't just a tool; it's the bridge that connects us to the essence of each candidate's journey.

Without empathy, it's almost impossible to be Emotionally Intelligent. When you have empathy, Emotional Intelligence can be developed and enhanced. What I have discovered in my 34 years of legal recruiting experience is that we often assume that we understand what the other person is saying, when in actual fact, we do not. Common language does NOT automatically mean a common understanding. "What do you mean by that?" "What does that look like for you?" are open-ended questions that enable you and your candidates to get to know each other better.

EI involves the ability to understand and manage one's own emotions, as well as the emotions of others. By developing your EI, you can build stronger relationships with candidates and colleagues, and communicate more effectively in a variety of situations. This can help you to better understand and respond to the emotional needs and preferences of others, and tailor your communication style accordingly. By demonstrating empathy, active listening, and effective communication skills, you can build trust and rapport with candidates and colleagues, and ultimately become a more effective and successful recruiter.

Look for indicators of EI in resumes and cover letters, such as the ability to work well with others, leadership experience, and strong interpersonal skills. During the interview process, ask open-ended questions that allow candidates to demonstrate their emotional intelligence, such as how they handle conflict or manage stress. You can also observe how candidates interact with others during the interview process, such as how they communicate with interviewers and respond to feedback. By assessing candidates' emotional intelligence, you can identify those who are most likely to excel in roles that require strong communication and relationship-building skills, and tailor your communication style to their emotional needs and preferences.

Accept people for who they are, and use that as a foundation to build a relationship. Make it clear that your objective is to help your candidates get the jobs that they want. At the same time, you must meet your clients' needs. Provide a list of questions that you anticipate will be asked during the interview process, and listen to your candidate's answers. Trust your instinct. If your candidate says you things that raise a proverbial "red flag", ask your candidate for clarification and explain why you are asking. The more your candidates(or your friends, family members, or colleagues) are able understand how they are presenting themselves, the more they can improve their EI.

EI within the process also starts with the hiring manager. Coaching is a great tool to enhance our hiring managers' self-awareness firstly. Ensuring they're open and self-aware, will enable us to be able to provide candidates with constructive feedback and equally enhance their EI.

Nobody likes to be the bearer of bad news. However, if its couched as "disappointing news", you minimize the risk of any implied -- or inferred-- judgment. We all have different sensitivities. The word "bad" can be a trigger for many people. Disappointment is about the outcome not about the person. A shared disappointment makes it clear that you understand how your candidate feels because you feel the same way.

Being able to adapt your communication style is a big sign of someone with Emotional intelligence. When delivering disappointing news, really take in how the person responds and use that to come up with your own response. Remember to use silence and give them a space to speak about how they feel as that creates a very comforting environment.

Simply listening and mirroring will help you adapt to different emotional needs and preferences. Start by actively listening to the person you are communicating with. Pay attention to their tone of voice, body language, and facial expressions to understand their emotional state. Once you have a sense of the person's emotional state, adapt your communication style to match their tone and pace. If they are speaking quickly and energetically, match their pace and enthusiasm. If they are speaking slowly and calmly, adjust your tone and pace accordingly.

Make your candidates comfortable enough to give feedback to you and when they do: truly listen. Always try to read the room and do pulse checks throughout the process so you can actively work towards improving your emotional intelligence.

Actively listening, empathizing, and tailoring your approach to create meaningful connections that foster understanding and trust in diverse interpersonal interactions is key in this scenario. When dealing with interns I always aim to provide an open space for individuals to speak upon their thoughts and concerns - being able to truly understand who you are working with is the first step in this process.