How can you validate and normalize feelings of someone sharing their story with you?

For me it is useful to: 1) Listen without judgement. 2) Understand how I can best be of service in the moment before me. 3)Understand why the person chose to confide in me. Is it because I am a good listener? Is it because I tell it like it is? Is it because I give good advice? Is is because I normally take them through a process that they figure it our by asking the right questions? 4) What is my intuition or gut feeling about what is required of me in the moment? 5) Be present in the moment so as not to miss the cues. 5) Allow for pauses. 6) Most importantly make it clear that you have their back.

Here are some key key driver & remember a big part is also about perspective taking: Active Listening: Give your full attention, maintain eye contact, and use affirming body language to show you're engaged. Empathize: Put yourself in their shoes, understand their emotions, and express empathy. Empathy is the driver of connection. Reflect Emotions: Acknowledge their feelings without judgment, saying things like "It sounds like you're feeling frustrated." Avoid Minimization: Refrain from dismissing or minimizing their emotions; reassure them that their feelings are valid and normal.

Start by stepping out of our personal narratives and truths. That's the start of the process to validating others from this space we become present to the other and to our experience in that moment Before we validate, I believe it begins with acknowledging the experience of other, also acknowledging our own unknown or lack of understanding of what is being shared if such is the case. Repeating what we hear allows the other to hear themselves. Validation is more than just acknowledging, we listen with such presence that we hear and echo back the qualities embodied by the person. This is when we are met and touched by someone's experience and we grow in togetherness

I frequently employ the method of listening twice before speaking. In my role as a coach, I make an effort to attentively understand the challenges individuals are facing and their objectives. I've discovered that creating an atmosphere of open space and silence encourages people to lower their guard and express themselves honestly. Paying attention to body language, such as friendly gesture's rather than rigid postures, plays a crucial role in this process. It's all about genuine validation of what's on someone else's mind as they speak. This is the act of acknowledging and affirming someone's feelings, experiences, or opinion as legitimate and important.

Validation is the act of understanding someone’s feelings or ideas via words or actions and achieving communion with them. You listen to them in such a deep way that communion happens between the two of you. If I were a gay person, listening to the other deeply would be second nature to me (because of the fact I’m a sort of an outsider in that situation). Now, this is what ‘normal’ human beings ought to aim for when they strive to understand someone else’s words or actions.

One thing I have found helpful is by relating to one's feelings or thoughts and also sharing my own experience of this. Again, listening and paying close attention is key in any given situation. I have had the opportunity to work and be very close to individuals with various disabilities, severe learning difficulties and impaired vision and to be able to be in their world when they share their experiences with me and for me to also be able to relate and contribute back has been wonderful. This experience alone gives a sense of belonging and achieves a huge element of understanding and bonding.

No one wants to feel abnormal even when they suspect they aren’t normal So in practice, I give examples of people that have gone through same path and also assure them that self acceptance is the beginning of change and everyone feels and behaves in an odd manner at one time or the other . I realized people feel comfortable once they can be identified as usual so sharing stories about self and people really helps

I share examples from my own experience to normalize someone else's. I learned how valuable this approach is by reading Cheryl Strayed's brilliant set of essays - Tiny Beautiful Things - based on her Dear Sugar advice columns. For every person who asks her for advice, she immediately normalizes it by sharing her own story - 'you're not alone' is the ultimate takeaway.

From a life coach's perspective, normalization involves helping individuals recognize that their thoughts, feelings, and experiences are valid and shared by others. It's about reassuring clients that their challenges and emotions are a natural part of the human journey, promoting self-acceptance and reducing self-judgment. Normalization fosters empathy and understanding, encouraging clients to see that they're not alone in their struggles. By acknowledging that setbacks and uncertainties are common in life, a life coach helps clients embrace their uniqueness and work through obstacles with a sense of empowerment and confidence. Ultimately, normalization is a powerful tool for building resilience and facilitating personal growth.

In my opinion, validation and normalization are crucial aspects as they foster self-acceptance and personal growth. When clients feel validated, their emotions and experiences are acknowledged, creating a safe space for self-reflection and growth. Normalization helps clients understand that their struggles are common, reducing feelings of isolation and shame. I recently worked with a client who had low self-esteem due to a traumatic childhood. Through validation, I helped them recognize their emotions as valid and understandable reactions to their past. Normalization allowed them to see that many others had similar experiences, helping them release the burden of self-blame and embark on a journey towards healing and self-empowerment.

It's important to give that person the space to talk. Often in our need to show compassion we end up interrupting their story by trying to fix, give advice or hold them. Giving them a safe space to speak is priceless. In the work I do with my clients, I also ask about their family history. Understanding the twists and turns of their family history can put things into a new perspective which validates and normalizes. It often removes the shame or guilt they may be carrying.

Actually, in practice giving hope and assurance genuinely unlocks a lot and make the experience wholesome You can’t give hope if you are not doing active listening and being compassionate. No one should feel strange around us although sometimes deep down I’m wandering how did this person get here. But I guess the different stories make life interesting . I’m less dumbfounded as I grow up

It happened in the early 2000s in an English for Science and Technology (EST) project that I coordinated for the British Council (Chennai) in India. We (the manager of the project and I) were sitting in on a project teacher’s class and waiting for the lesson-as-plan to unfold, whereas what happened was the lesson-as-event unfolded in class. While the plan was to get the whole class to do a ‘role-play’ in pairs, the teacher improvised when she saw the students struggling to get the role play going. She got two volunteering students to do the role play in front of the whole class and turned the lesson into a spectator’s feast. The teacher’s report was elicited without any loss of face to her, and she received positive feedback.

I employ the following approach: Validation involves active listening and empathy. Reflecting their emotions is key; if a client expresses anger, I respond with, "It seems like you were truly angry.” This simple act confirms their emotions are understood and respected. Normalization assures clients their feelings are valid. I might say, "It's entirely natural to feel this way in your situation" or "Many individuals experience similar emotions." Once, a client faced a daunting career change. They felt overwhelmed. By validating and normalizing their anxiety, I helped them realize that their feelings were a typical response to change. This acknowledgment eased their worries and allowed them to approach the transition with greater confidence.

In my experience there are 3 key things you can do to help someone feel comfortable sharing. Listen Actively: Give your full attention, maintain eye contact, and avoid distractions. Show you’re fully present and engaged in their story. Put Yourself in Their Shoes: Try to imagine how they might be feeling based on their experiences. Consider how you would feel in a similar situation. Avoid Judging or Criticizing: Refrain from making judgments or offering advice unless they specifically ask for it. Focus on understanding and supporting them. By genuinely connecting with the person and demonstrating understanding and care, you create a safe space for them to share their thoughts and emotions.

Cultural sensitivity and inclusivity in life coaching are vital for validation and normalization. Start by understanding diverse cultural backgrounds, avoiding assumptions, and respecting unique perspectives. When validating, acknowledge emotions with cultural awareness, saying, "I see you're experiencing [emotion], which can be common in many cultures." Normalize feelings by considering cultural differences, reassuring clients that their emotions are valid within their cultural context, such as, "It's entirely natural to feel this way given your background." Culturally sensitive coaching fosters trust, enabling clients from different backgrounds to explore their emotions and goals in an inclusive and respectful environment.

From my personal experience it starts with self awareness and self inclusion. Being able to check in my own biases, preconceived ideas, theories, and being able to pause and think. Self - inclusion in a form of understanding my own culture, having a solid identity and being flexible in mindset. Knowing what's happening in my body and soul. From heart to throat to mind. Inclusion is a habit. It takes daily practice. It's like practicing being a teacher and being responsible for a group of pupils. You're continuously checking who's there, who's missing, everyone heard and seen.

Learn about different cultures, traditions, and histories to understand the unique experiences and perspectives of various communities. Recognize and respect cultural differences, avoiding stereotypes or assumptions. Treat everyone as an individual with unique beliefs and values. Be mindful of the words you use, opting for inclusive language that promotes equality and avoids discriminatory or offensive terms Encourage diversity in your social and professional networks by actively seeking out and including people from various backgrounds. Recognize and challenge your own biases and prejudices, seeking to unlearn them through education and self-reflection.

From experience, it is important to remember that the aim of providing peer support is not to provide advice in the same way a doctor offers medical counsel to their patients. Individual’s are experts of their own lived and living experiences. In peer relationships there is therefore a mutual understanding that each person holds the same level of power in relationship and offers all involved the opportunity to co-learn and foster personal growth. Reflecting back therefore is significant to peer support in order to aid each others understanding of their unique experiences, worldview, and identify what one’s needs are along with what recovery/staying well looks like.