How can you use self-compassion to deal with feedback, failure, and criticism at work?

A autocompaix?o é algo que devemos fomentar. Somo t?o criticos e exigentes conosco que chegamos a nos depreciar. Precisamos nos aceitar, acolher as nossas dificuldades e focar nos pontos fortes.

I see self-compassion as cultivating the ability to love yourself for who you are today, not blaming yourself for who you were yesterday and not being pessimistic or anxious about who you will be. Imagine that you are your own best friend. What would you say to yourself in any given situation? In my coaching sessions, I often coach my clients to view themselves in the best possible light and inquire about how they look at themselves with love and kindness. All of us are better today in some ways than the versions of ourselves yesterday.

Integrate mindfulness training into leadership development programs to enhance self-awareness and self-compassion. Techniques such as guided meditations and reflective journaling can help leaders maintain a balanced perspective on their experiences and reactions.

A challenge with adopting a kinder approach to ourself is the mistaken belief that we need that inner critic to drive improvement. It is helpful to understand the evidence shows that if we have a kinder, supportive inner voice we grow and achieve more - and the process is much nicer!

Self-compassion is also the ability to believe in yourself that you did your best in the moment with what you have. Whatever the result is, you believe in yourself that you can continue to learn, grow, and have better results in the future. You do not put yourself down for any reason. You can acknowledge and learn from your mistakes and failures.

Recognize and accept the emotions that arise when receiving feedback or facing failure. It's okay to feel disappointed, frustrated, or even upset. Remember that emotions are a natural part of the human experience, and it's okay to experience them. Take a step back and observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Focus on the present moment and avoid dwelling on past mistakes or worrying excessively about the future. Avoid harsh self-criticism. Remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes and encounters failures. It's an inevitable part of growth and learning. Recognize that you are not alone in facing challenges or receiving criticism. Use failures and feedback as opportunities for growth.

A autocompaix?o nos ajuda a aceitar os momentos difíceis e estressantes na medida que acolhemos e entendemos nossas difculdades. Aceitar que se está cansado, que se precisa de uma pausa, que se precisa de apoio. Quando percebemos esses momentos com clareza podemos pedir ajuda e colocar um limite no trabalho como forma de autocuidado.

Consider implementing feedback systems that encourage positive recognition among peers, highlighting acts of self-compassion and their impacts on team dynamics.

True leaders, who lead by example, tend to be self-aware and don’t project their insecurities on to their colleagues. For this to be achieved, self-compassion and the ability to practice mindfulness, stay grounded and be present, can help to ensure maximum effectiveness and efficiency. A leader should command respect, never demand it. The privilege and entitlement mindset are short lived and not sustainable. For a leader to earn respect, they must first respect themselves by practicing self-compassion.

Self-compassion is vital in a professional setting for several reasons: Enhances Resilience: Self-compassion helps in bouncing back from setbacks, as it frames failures as learning opportunities rather than personal shortcomings. Reduces Burnout: Self-compassionate individuals tend to experience less stress and burnout, as they allow themselves to take breaks and recognize their limits. Improves Interpersonal Relationships: When you are kinder to yourself, you tend to be kinder and more empathetic to others, creating a positive, collaborative work environment. Encourages Growth Mindset: By viewing mistakes as part of the learning process, self-compassion fosters a growth mindset, essential for personal and professional development.

One of the easiest ways to tackle self-criticism and focus on creating a more compassionate way of speaking to yourself is by asking "would I say this to my best friend?". Cultivating self-compassion is not only about being more compassionate, but also being less self-critical. Take a step back from your immediate thoughts, they are not facts, they are interpretations and sometimes we need to challenge them. It's okay to receive 'negative' feedback, it doesn't mean you're a failure. It's okay to have a difficult interaction with a colleague or client. It's okay to feel stressed sometimes. It's okay to set limits. It's okay to procrastinate from time to time. It's okay to have a bad day.

There is no such thing as positive or negative feedback. Feedback is just that, feedback. We all want people to praise us. However, we can only truly learn and grow by being objective about all feedback scenarios. The problem is, when we feel that feedback is ‘negative’, we can be triggered from past learned experiences and feel an overwhelming sense of failure. When this happens, write down the key points and remove emotive language. Example, “I was appalled you didn’t respond to my concerns before now. I find this unprofessional and lacks integrity”. Harsh but fair. Read the feedback as “client expected a response sooner” and respond accordingly. Also, read through feedback from others, which you find empowering and fulfilling.

Being understanding and forgiving toward oneself rather than harshly self-critical. Understanding that setbacks, failures, and challenges are part of the human experience. Being aware of and accepting one's emotions without judgment. Mindfulness helps individuals observe their thoughts and feelings without becoming overly identified with them.

Establish peer accountability groups that meet regularly to discuss personal experiences with practicing self-compassion. These groups can provide a platform for sharing strategies, challenges, and successes, fostering a supportive community within the organization.

Use self-compassion to manage feedback, failure, and criticism by treating yourself with kindness and understanding, as you would a friend in similar circumstances. Recognize impermanence of the situation and note imperfection is universal and rather view setbacks as growth opportunities. Incorporate journaling or a personal self-post-mortem into your routine. Reflect on these powerful questions: What was the context? What did I observe about my reaction? How did it impact me and my work? What are my next steps to improve? This not only reduces stress but also builds resilience, equipping you to handle future challenges. Remember, "Self-compassion means giving ourselves the same kindness as we would others." – Kristin Neff

Self-compassion at work offers significant benefits, particularly when dealing with feedback, failure, and criticism. It allows individuals to treat themselves with kindness and understanding rather than harsh judgment, leading to reduced stress and increased resilience. By embracing self-compassion, employees are more likely to view setbacks as opportunities for growth and learning, rather than threats to their self-worth. This mindset not only enhances personal well-being but also promotes a more creative and innovative approach to problem-solving. Ultimately, self-compassion fosters a healthier work environment where continuous improvement is encouraged.

Self-compassion at work can have wide-ranging positive impacts, including: Individuals who treat themselves compassionately are more willing to take risks, experiment, and innovate since they aren’t paralyzed by the fear of failure. Self-compassion is associated with lower levels of anxiety, depression, and stress, all of which contribute to a healthier, happier workplace. People who practice self-compassion are often more satisfied with their jobs, as they feel supported from within, regardless of external circumstances. By maintaining a balanced and calm outlook, self-compassionate individuals can make more objective and strategic decisions.

Burnout is corporate death. If we don’t practice self-compassion, we can become mentally unwell, not to mention ineffective, oversensitive and the quality of our work becomes gravely compromised. Take our smartphone. If the battery is on 1% we go to the ends of the earth to recharge it. Now think about the battery inside you, about to die rendering you helpless and ineffective. Recharging our own batteries must take priority over anything and everything else, bar none. Breathing exercises, meditation, spending time in nature, doing a jigsaw puzzle, anything to recharge and prevent burnout must be the first port of call.

Embracing self-compassion at work leads to numerous benefits, including improved emotional resilience, increased motivation, enhanced creativity, stronger relationships with colleagues, and a greater sense of overall job satisfaction. By fostering self-compassion, individuals cultivate a supportive inner environment conducive to personal and professional growth.

It's Not Soft, It's Smart: Self-compassion isn't about coddling yourself; it's about being a pro at handling setbacks. You mess up, you learn, you move on – without the unnecessary drama of self-flagellation. Stress Down, Game Up: By ditching the self-beat-up session, you're cutting down on stress, which in turn cranks up your efficiency. It’s not just about feeling good; it’s about performing better. Build Bridges, Not Walls: When you're easier on yourself, you're better in a team. It's basic math: less inner turmoil equals more bandwidth for positive interactions. Mistakes are Gold, if Mined Right: With self-compassion, every blunder is a lesson, not an apocalypse. That’s how you build a learning curve that's off the charts.

Fortunately, this mindset is dying out alongside racism, misogyny, and homophobia. However, there’ll always be bigots within the workforce who firmly believe that mental health issues are the first sign of weakness, excuses for incompetency and poor performance. A solid employee engagement plan is vital alongside senior management to be trained in mental health awareness, even just being a mental health first aider. Bring in experts to talk about wellbeing in the workplace, stress management solutions and an open-door policy when it comes to anything mental health related. True leaders will understand and respect this. If they don’t, good employees will be snapped up by their competitors that’ll have the above firmly in situ.

Self-compassion as a practise doesn't exist on it's own. When we are at work it may be connected to other psychological challenges such as limiting beliefs, imposter syndrome, and holding ourself accountable to different standards to others. The organisational culture will influence wider compassion but self-compassion is an internal practise. Self-compassion is something most of us have to actively work at cultivating. We have to remember to access the techniques that help us, at the times we need it. Research shows it is worth giving attention to this due to the multiple benefits in terms of growth and performance, as well as our overall psychological wellbeing.

Practicing self-compassion at work faces challenges, primarily stemming from ingrained workplace cultures and individual mindsets. One challenge is the pervasive expectation of perfectionism, making it difficult for individuals to embrace self-kindness in the face of failure or criticism. Moreover, workplace competitiveness can hinder self-compassion, as employees may fear that acknowledging imperfections could be seen as a sign of weakness. Time constraints and high-pressure environments may hinder the introspection required for self-compassion. Overcoming these challenges requires a cultural shift towards seeing vulnerability as a strength, allowing open communication, and encouraging self-compassion for personal and professional growth.

Weakness? Nope, Try Strength: Some think self-compassion is for the weak. Wrong. It takes guts to stand up to your inner critic and say, “Thanks, but no thanks.” If your office is still stuck in the “grind till you drop” mentality, showing yourself some kindness might seem like rebellion. But hey, every revolution starts with a small act

Personally, I've felt the pressure to excel and feared being seen as weak. Overcoming these challenges involves shifting perspectives, valuing growth over perfection, and integrating brief mindfulness moments into busy schedules. Applying self-compassion to handle feedback means mindfully reflecting on it, adopting a learning mindset, practicing positive self-talk, and seeking support when needed.

Self-compassion is goalsetting, SMART goalsetting. Fail to prepare, prepare to fail. If you've got a plan, with self-compassion built in, any issues can easily be ironed out and overcome. ** Specific: Stick to a suitable revision timetable. ** Measurable: Revising strictly within the hours allocated. ** Attainable: ? The Pomodoro Technique — Solving Minds - Helping you back to mental fitness ? Create a physical timetable. ? Write down hours allocated. ? Subjects selected to study against allocated timeframe. ? Whiteboard planning. ** Relevant: Pass module. ** Timeline: Be test-ready before 30th April 2024

Focus on three things Lead the Charge: Start talking about self-compassion. Make it as common as coffee talk. When people see it's not just fluff, they'll listen. Walk the Talk: Show 'em how it's done. Balance hard work with self-respect, and you're not just a player; you're a role model. Baby Steps, Big Impact: Start small. A little self-kindness goes a long way in setting a new norm.

Overcoming challenges with self-compassion at work using positive psychology involves cultivating gratitude, practicing mindfulness, leveraging strengths, using positive affirmations, seeking social support, and engaging in self-kindness practices. As Martin Seligman once said, "Optimism is invaluable for the meaningful life. With a firm belief in a positive future, you can throw yourself into the service of that which is larger than you are." Integrating these strategies into your work routine can foster a more compassionate and resilient mindset.

The field of Positive Psychology has provided lots of research articles that show the benefits of self-compassion. By tapping into these research articles and sharing them with our colleagues, we can overcome the worries that self-compassion does not help increase work creativity and productivity.

There are 2 sides to everything; this includes self-compassion. It just depends on where your focus is at. Even though there will be people who believe that self-compassion is selfish, it is important to focus on how self-compassion helps you become a better person and can contribute to a better society.

**Expectations** Perfection doesn’t exist. Being a perfectionist, guarantees failure 100% of the time. Then, try to prioritise your expectations, once you’ve identified how doable and manageable, they are. It’s time to take off the pressure, which often results in self-loathing and self-sabotage.

Self-compassion is a vital skill for navigating the challenges of the workplace, enabling individuals to face feedback, failure, and criticism with resilience. By approaching oneself with kindness and understanding, it's possible to transform potentially negative experiences into opportunities for personal and professional growth. This approach not only enhances individual well-being but also contributes to a more supportive and collaborative work environment. Cultivating self-compassion encourages a mindset shift from a fear of failure to a focus on learning and development, fostering a culture where mistakes are seen as a natural part of the learning process.

With all the recommendations the experts have given, all I have to add is this- know when to leave. Yes, self-compassion is important in a challenging workplace but so is self-respect. When the feedback and criticism are harsh, when the environment is anxiety-inducing, and when work is affecting your mental health day in and day out, I encourage you to have the strength to stand up for yourself and leave when your job is not serving you. At the end of the day, your health is the first priority.

Rather than being overly self-critical, I focus on understanding that everyone encounters challenges. It's about acknowledging mistakes, learning from them, and treating myself with the same kindness I would extend to others. This approach helps me maintain a positive mindset and bounce back more resiliently.

Take the Self-Compassion test by Dr. Kristin Neff. It will help you go deeper on this topic, and you can start applying everything that you gain from the results to practice self-compassion today.