How can you use reframing to help resolve conflict?

1 Identify the problem

Reframing starts with identifying the problem or issue that is causing conflict. This may not be as obvious as it seems, as we may not be clear about what the real problem is or assume that the other person has the same view. To identify the problem, ask yourself and the other person questions such as what triggered the conflict, how you feel about it and why, what you want or need from the situation or the other person, and what facts and assumptions are influencing your view. Answering these questions can help to clarify the problem and comprehend different perspectives and interests.

2 Challenge your assumptions

The second step to reframing is to challenge your assumptions and beliefs about the situation and the other person. Assumptions are often the source of conflict, as they can lead to misinterpretations, judgments, and biases. To overcome this, you need to recognize that your view is not the only one or the absolute truth and be open to new information and evidence that may contradict your view. Additionally, it's beneficial to test your assumptions by asking yourself and the other person questions such as “How do you know that your assumption is true or valid?” or “What are some alternative explanations or interpretations of the situation or the other person's behavior?” By challenging your assumptions, you can reduce your defensiveness and increase your empathy and curiosity.

3 Generate alternatives

The third step to reframing is to generate alternatives or options for resolving the conflict. Alternatives are possible solutions or outcomes that can satisfy both parties' needs and interests. To generate these, brainstorm as many ideas as possible without judging or evaluating them, focus on the future and the positive aspects of the situation, be creative and flexible in finding ways to meet both parties' needs, and involve the other person in the process. Seek their input and feedback, as this can expand your choices and help you find win-win solutions.

4 Choose the best option

The final step to reframing is to choose the best option or solution for resolving the conflict. The best choice should be acceptable, feasible, and beneficial for both parties. To make this decision, you need to evaluate each alternative based on its pros and cons, costs and benefits, and risks and opportunities. Additionally, compare each alternative with the criteria and goals that you and the other person have agreed on. Negotiate and compromise with the other person until you reach a mutual agreement. Finally, confirm and document the agreement and the actions that each party will take. In doing so, you can achieve a satisfactory and sustainable resolution of the conflict.

5 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?