How can you use nonverbal communication to resolve a conflict?

1 Why nonverbal communication matters

Nonverbal communication can convey a lot of information and emotions that words alone cannot. It can also influence how others perceive and respond to you, and how you feel about yourself and the situation. When you are in a conflict, your nonverbal communication can either escalate or de-escalate the tension, depending on how you use it. For example, if you cross your arms, roll your eyes, or raise your voice, you may signal defensiveness, hostility, or aggression, which can make the other person feel attacked, ignored, or disrespected. On the other hand, if you maintain eye contact, nod your head, or lower your voice, you may show interest, empathy, or calmness, which can make the other person feel heard, understood, or respected.

2 How to use nonverbal communication to resolve a conflict

Using nonverbal communication to resolve a conflict requires being aware of both your own and the other person's nonverbal cues, and adjusting them to create a positive atmosphere. To do this, pay attention to your posture and alignment; try to align your body with the other person's, and lean forward slightly with uncrossed arms and legs. Make appropriate eye contact that conveys confidence, honesty, and interest without staring or looking away too often. Ensure facial expressions match what you are saying or feeling, and modulate your tone of voice to be clear, respectful, and appropriate for the context. Additionally, use gestures that support and emphasize your points without overusing or misusing them. Be sure to use gestures that are natural, relevant, and respectful without pointing fingers or invading the other person's space.

3 How to interpret the other person's nonverbal communication

When using nonverbal communication to resolve a conflict, it's important to pay attention to the other person's nonverbal cues to understand what they are saying and feeling. This can help you empathize, communicate, and negotiate better, while avoiding misunderstandings and assumptions. To interpret the other person's nonverbal communication, observe their posture and alignment, read their eye contact, decode their facial expressions, listen to their tone of voice, and watch their gestures. For example, if they are facing you directly and leaning forward, they may be engaged and cooperative; if they are making steady eye contact, they may be confident and honest; if they are smiling and raising their eyebrows, they may be happy and surprised; if they are using a high-pitched voice, they may be anxious or excited; and if they are using their hands to point or illustrate something, they may be confident or persuasive.

4 How to respond to the other person's nonverbal communication

Interpreting the other person's nonverbal communication is an important step in responding in a way that shows respect, understanding, and cooperation. To do this, you can mirror their posture and alignment, reciprocate their eye contact, reflect their facial expressions, rephrase their tone of voice, and reinforce their gestures. For example, if the other person is leaning forward, you can also lean forward to show interest and attentiveness. If they are making steady eye contact, you can also make steady eye contact to show confidence and honesty. If they are smiling and raising their eyebrows, you can also smile and raise your eyebrows to show happiness and surprise. Additionally, if they are using a high-pitched voice, you can also use a high-pitched voice to show anxiety or excitement. Finally, if they are using their hands to point or illustrate something, you can also use your hands to point or illustrate something to show confidence or clarity. Doing this will help create a sense of rapport, trust, empathy, respect, and cooperation which will move the conflict resolution process forward.

5 How to improve your nonverbal communication skills

Nonverbal communication is a skill that can be learned and improved with practice and feedback. To sharpen your nonverbal communication skills, observe yourself and others in different situations, noting what works and what doesn't. Record yourself and others in conflict situations, and review the recordings to analyze your strengths and weaknesses. Seek feedback from those who are good at nonverbal communication, or who have observed you in conflict situations. Experiment with different nonverbal communication techniques to find out how they affect reactions and responses. Try to use nonverbal communication that is appropriate, congruent, and respectful, so that you can resolve conflicts effectively and respectfully.

6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?