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How can you use forgiveness to resolve conflicts in the workplace?

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Conflicts in the workplace can be stressful, damaging, and unproductive. Whether they arise from misunderstandings, disagreements, or personal issues, they can affect your performance, relationships, and well-being. One way to resolve conflicts in the workplace is to use forgiveness. Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness, but a skill that can help you heal, move on, and improve your interpersonal communication. In this article, you will learn how to use forgiveness to resolve conflicts in the workplace, and what benefits it can bring to you and your team.

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1 What is forgiveness?

Forgiveness is the process of letting go of negative emotions, thoughts, and behaviors that are associated with a perceived offense or harm. Forgiveness does not mean that you condone, forget, or excuse what happened, but that you choose to release yourself from the burden of resentment, anger, or guilt. Forgiveness can be directed towards yourself, another person, or a situation. Forgiveness can be a one-time decision, or a repeated practice that requires time and effort.

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Natasha Pauling

Vice President and Chief Advocacy and Independent Living Officer | Resource Development | DEIB | Strategic Planning | Grant Writing | Policy Development | Health Equity | Energy Equity | Environmental Equity | Training
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The key to forgiveness is having the courage to believe that people can change. Past actions can be an excellent predictor of future behavior, but it is equally true that past actions can help us gain perspective, and deter us from repeating those behaviors in the future.

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2 Why is forgiveness important?

Forgiveness is important because it can help you cope with the impact of conflicts in the workplace. Conflicts can cause stress, anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, and physical health problems. They can also impair your creativity, productivity, collaboration, and morale. By forgiving, you can reduce these negative effects and enhance your well-being. Forgiveness can also help you restore trust, respect, and empathy with your colleagues, and foster a positive and supportive work environment.

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Natasha Pauling

Vice President and Chief Advocacy and Independent Living Officer | Resource Development | DEIB | Strategic Planning | Grant Writing | Policy Development | Health Equity | Energy Equity | Environmental Equity | Training
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Forgiveness is vital in society, because of our need for reconciliation. People are not disposable. They have limitless potential for creativity and possibly, and the person we throw away due to an error may be the very person we need in a crisis. While working with people who are re-entering society, or who are struggling with addiction, it is important to believe in their ability to pivot and create better lives. I often tell them, “The worst thing you’ve ever done does not define you. How you use that experience to inspire you to greatness defines you.” I have seen enough people arise as a phoenix from the ashes of their poor choices to know that taking a chance on change is a worthwhile risk.

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3 How can you forgive yourself?

Sometimes, you may be the source or the contributor of a conflict in the workplace. You may have made a mistake, said something hurtful, or acted inappropriately. In these cases, you may feel ashamed, guilty, or regretful. To forgive yourself, you need to acknowledge your responsibility, apologize sincerely, and learn from your experience. You also need to accept yourself as a human being who is imperfect and capable of change. You need to avoid self-criticism, self-punishment, and self-isolation, and focus on your strengths, values, and goals.

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Natasha Pauling

Vice President and Chief Advocacy and Independent Living Officer | Resource Development | DEIB | Strategic Planning | Grant Writing | Policy Development | Health Equity | Energy Equity | Environmental Equity | Training
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When I miss the mark, self forgiveness begins with introspection. I have to determine what happened? Why did it happen? How could I have avoided it? What past experiences or triggers may have contributed to my choices? How can I improve in the future? Once I have the answers to those questions, I can move to acceptance, and plan for improvement. One important step in the right direction is changing our mindsets to stop seeking perfection, and choosing instead to strive for continuous improvement. This does not negate the possibility of setbacks, but it does place the responsibility for recovering from those setbacks squarely upon the person who set the standards by which they have chosen to live.

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4 How can you forgive others?

Other times, you may be the victim or the target of a conflict in the workplace. You may have been wronged, insulted, or harmed by someone else. In these cases, you may feel angry, hurt, or betrayed. To forgive others, you need to understand their perspective, motives, and feelings. You also need to express your emotions, needs, and expectations in a respectful and assertive way. You need to avoid blaming, attacking, or avoiding the other person, and seek a constructive and mutually beneficial solution.

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Natasha Pauling

Vice President and Chief Advocacy and Independent Living Officer | Resource Development | DEIB | Strategic Planning | Grant Writing | Policy Development | Health Equity | Energy Equity | Environmental Equity | Training
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Forgiving others begins with establishing what has occurred and sharing how it impacted you and your work, and then setting expectations for future behavior. Requiring that both parties engage from a place of respect and solution seeking is necessary for a successful collaboration on how to move beyond an impasse. Setting and acknowledging boundaries and any violations thereof can create the ground rules for positive communication and improved work processes.

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Brandon Springle, MHR

Organizational Strategist | Curious Researcher | Psychological Safety Coach | Talent Accelerator | Signal Seeker | Thought Partner | Writer | Keynote Speaker
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In my experience seeking to see the humanity in others even when they have upset you is a major key! A lack of forgiveness is like a poison ?? that is harmful on the inside. Strive to resolve fractured relationships with appropriate boundary lines drawn. Also recognize that you can forgive without things going back to “normal”…. The goal in the workplace is to heal towards getting essential collaborative work done and not being bitter or resentful if interpersonal dynamics change!

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5 How can you ask for forgiveness?

There may be situations where you need to ask for forgiveness from someone you have offended or harmed in the workplace. You may have violated a rule, broken a promise, or failed to deliver. In these situations, you need to admit your fault, show remorse, and offer restitution. You also need to respect the other person's right to accept or reject your apology, and be prepared to face the consequences. You need to avoid making excuses, minimizing your actions, or expecting immediate forgiveness, and demonstrate your commitment to change.

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6 How can you practice forgiveness?

Forgiveness is not a single occurrence, but an ongoing process that requires dedication and endurance. You can start by cultivating a positive and sympathetic attitude, and utilize certain strategies to help you along the way. Writing a forgiveness letter, for example, is a great way to express your emotions, thoughts, and intentions. You don't have to send it, but you can keep it, burn it, or discard it as a sign of forgiveness. Additionally, meditation can be useful in calming your mind and body while focusing on forgiveness. You can repeat mantras such as “I forgive myself” or “I forgive you” or envision a situation where you are granting or receiving forgiveness. Moreover, having someone to listen and understand can be beneficial in developing your ability to forgive. You can reach out to a friend, family member, mentor, counselor, or join a support group or community that shares your values and beliefs.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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How can you use forgiveness to resolve conflicts in the workplace?

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3

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7

1 What is forgiveness?

2 Why is forgiveness important?

3 How can you forgive yourself?

4 How can you forgive others?

5 How can you ask for forgiveness?

6 How can you practice forgiveness?

7 Here’s what else to consider

Interpersonal Communication

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How can you use forgiveness to resolve conflicts in the workplace?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 What is forgiveness?

2 Why is forgiveness important?

3 How can you forgive yourself?

4 How can you forgive others?

5 How can you ask for forgiveness?

6 How can you practice forgiveness?

7 Here’s what else to consider

Interpersonal Communication

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