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How can you use body language to calm a crisis?

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Body language is a powerful tool for communication, especially in situations where emotions are running high and words may not be enough. When you are faced with a crisis, such as an angry customer, a distressed colleague, or a violent offender, how you use your body language can make a big difference in how you de-escalate the conflict and resolve the issue. In this article, you will learn some practical tips on how to use your body language to calm a crisis and show empathy, respect, and confidence.

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Shazzy T.

Mental Health/Neurodiversity Consultant | Counselling Psychotherapist l Credentialed Mental Health Nurse | MSc…
Adam Radivojevic

Backend Development, Facilitation. Passionate about AI alignment and storytelling.

1 Maintain a safe distance

One of the first things you need to do when you encounter a crisis is to assess the level of risk and establish a safe distance between you and the other person. This will help you avoid invading their personal space, which can trigger more aggression or anxiety. The optimal distance may vary depending on the context and the culture, but a general rule of thumb is to keep at least an arm's length away from the other person. If you need to move closer or farther, do it slowly and calmly, and explain your reasons.

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Adam Radivojevic

Backend Development, Facilitation. Passionate about AI alignment and storytelling.
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I can't emphasize "slowly and calmly" enough when moving away or moving closer. Swift movement can escalate a crisis into a physical confrontation, and we want the complete opposite of that.

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Shazzy T.

Mental Health/Neurodiversity Consultant | Counselling Psychotherapist l Credentialed Mental Health Nurse | MSc Psychology Cand. Disability specialist | DEIB Warrior | Actually Autistic ADHD PDA ??????????????????????
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A safe distance is whatever the person feels it to be. Ask them is it ok if I stand/sit here, give them the power of at least that.

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Chris “Savvy”
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I work with people in crisis a lot and I always approach slowly, and non direct so it gives me time to asses the situation and to make sure it is safe for all parties involved. I always keep outside of arms reach as a general guide.

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2 Use open and relaxed gestures

Your gestures can convey a lot of information about your attitude and intentions. To show that you are not a threat and that you are willing to listen and help, use open and relaxed gestures that indicate cooperation and interest. For example, you can nod your head, lean forward slightly, and keep your palms up and visible. Avoid gestures that suggest hostility, defensiveness, or impatience, such as pointing your finger, crossing your arms, or tapping your foot.

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Shazzy T.

Mental Health/Neurodiversity Consultant | Counselling Psychotherapist l Credentialed Mental Health Nurse | MSc Psychology Cand. Disability specialist | DEIB Warrior | Actually Autistic ADHD PDA ??????????????????????
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Micro gestures also play a role here - facial expressions being sincere in mannerisms, body language and tone of voice is important.

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Chris “Savvy”
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Keep an open stance, but not directly open towards the individual as this could be seen as confrontational. Stand with your body at a slight angle. Also make sure the other person can see your hands. It subconsciously takes away trust if you hide your hands, or put them in your pockets. Another technique is to “mirror” the stance of the other person. This helps keep them at ease.

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3 Make appropriate eye contact

Eye contact is another key element of body language that can affect how the other person perceives you and responds to you. Too much eye contact can be intimidating or challenging, while too little eye contact can be disrespectful or dishonest. The ideal amount of eye contact depends on the situation and the culture, but a general guideline is to maintain eye contact for about 60-70% of the time. This will show that you are attentive and engaged, but also respectful and non-confrontational.

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Shazzy T.

Mental Health/Neurodiversity Consultant | Counselling Psychotherapist l Credentialed Mental Health Nurse | MSc Psychology Cand. Disability specialist | DEIB Warrior | Actually Autistic ADHD PDA ??????????????????????
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Eye contact can be a cultural thing. If you are sincere a person will see it in your eyes, if you aren’t a person will see that too. Any insincerity or lack of confidence and don’t even start attempting deescalation.

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4 Match your facial expressions

Your facial expressions can also communicate your emotions and reactions to the other person. To show that you are empathetic and understanding, match your facial expressions to the tone and content of what the other person is saying. For example, if they are expressing anger or frustration, you can show concern or regret with your eyebrows or mouth. If they are sharing something positive or humorous, you can smile or laugh with them. Matching your facial expressions can help you build rapport and trust with the other person.

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Adam Radivojevic

Backend Development, Facilitation. Passionate about AI alignment and storytelling.
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If the attacker is violent, try to mimic their language in order to make yourself close to them. Repeat words to make them feel validated, and also make the attacker see themselves in you.

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Shazzy T.

Mental Health/Neurodiversity Consultant | Counselling Psychotherapist l Credentialed Mental Health Nurse | MSc Psychology Cand. Disability specialist | DEIB Warrior | Actually Autistic ADHD PDA ??????????????????????
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This can be more difficult than you think as warm can come from anger but sound frivolous and so laughing may be inappropriate

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5 Monitor your voice and breathing

Your voice and breathing are also part of your body language that can influence how you feel and how the other person feels. To calm yourself and the other person, try to speak in a low, calm, and clear voice that matches the pace and volume of the other person. Avoid shouting, whispering, or using sarcasm or irony, as these can escalate the tension or confusion. Also, pay attention to your breathing and try to breathe deeply and evenly. This will help you relax your muscles and lower your heart rate.

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Shazzy T.

Mental Health/Neurodiversity Consultant | Counselling Psychotherapist l Credentialed Mental Health Nurse | MSc Psychology Cand. Disability specialist | DEIB Warrior | Actually Autistic ADHD PDA ??????????????????????
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Be transparent about how you are feeling. The person may not be violent and aggressive as assumed. Letting them know you’re concerned for them and also yourself may help them review their behaviour or actions. I find breathing with them helps calm me and the person at the same time but only asking if it’s ok to do that with them first.

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Marie B.

Equity Advocate | Skills & Support Group Developer | Amazon Best-Selling Author | Views expressed are my own
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This can be challenging, and it takes practice. I try to focus either on my breath or directly on the person in crisis. If I start focusing on how stressful the situation is, my ability to regulate my own emotions declines. In order to de-escalate a situation, I need to regulate my own nervous system first. Use a calm and soothing tone of voice, and approach with compassionate curiosity. Don't defend; instead, listen. Verbally reflect the emotions of the person in crisis. Hold compassionate space for their distress and demonstrate your caring through your words, tone, and body language.

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6 Adjust your body language as needed

Finally, remember that body language is not a one-size-fits-all solution, and that different situations and people may require different approaches. Be flexible and adaptable, and observe how the other person reacts to your body language. If you notice any signs of discomfort, resistance, or escalation, try to change your body language accordingly. For example, if the other person is avoiding eye contact or backing away, you may need to reduce your eye contact or increase your distance. The goal is to find the best way to connect with the other person and create a positive outcome.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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How can you use body language to calm a crisis?

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1 Maintain a safe distance

2 Use open and relaxed gestures

3 Make appropriate eye contact

4 Match your facial expressions

5 Monitor your voice and breathing

6 Adjust your body language as needed

7 Here’s what else to consider

De-escalation

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