How can you use active listening to improve communication?

Active listening is a valuable skill that involves fully engaging with a speaker and demonstrating genuine interest in their thoughts and feelings. It goes beyond merely hearing the words being spoken and encompasses understanding the speaker's perspective and responding in a supportive manner. By actively listening, you can foster stronger relationships, build trust, and improve communication effectiveness.

It takes patience and skill to listen without a need to interrupt, chime in or the urge to respond. The speaker feels respected and cherished if we give them our two most invaluable assets - time and attention.

Active listening helps the other person feel seen, heard, and valued, which is the foundation for trust in a relationship. We've all had the experience where someone listening to us starts to look around, at their phone, or at their computer screen, which immediately sends the signal that what we have to say isn't as important as the thing they are focused on. Just by giving our time and attention, we can communicate to people the value they carry and that their voice and perspective is valuable.

Practicing active listening requires being present in the moment and putting aside any other distractions or things weighing on your mind. I use a mantra that I say internally if I find myself drifting from listening or getting bored. I ask myself, "What is the wisdom they carry?" This reminds me of the fundamental humanity and importance of the other person's perspective, regardless of who they are or if I agree and reminds me to pay attention, or I may miss out on an opportunity to learn and connect.

Active listening has many benefits for both the listener and the speaker. By actively listening, you can learn new information and perspectives, demonstrate respect and empathy, clarify any misunderstandings, provide constructive feedback, and improve your communication skills and emotional intelligence. Furthermore, actively listening can foster trust and understanding in your relationship, avoid potential conflicts or mistakes, and enhance the speaker's confidence and motivation. Management must also ensure the students are engaged and able to communicate effectively with leadership capabilities.

Active listening can be practiced during professional networking events. Often, performance anxiety hinders effective networking as we become overly concerned with what to say, fumbling our words, or being liked. Instead, think ABC - Always Be Curious. Showing up with a curious mindset can help us regain control and manage anxiety. By focusing on what we want to ASK rather than what we want to SAY, we shift the spotlight onto the other person. Practice actively listening by asking powerful questions, such as "What do you think?" As Thoreau wrote in his journal, “The greatest compliment was paid to me today. Someone asked me what I thought and actually attended to my answer.” Spend more energy helping others feel heard and understood.

By putting one’s phone face down, closing the laptop and looking the other person in the eye as he or she speaks is genuinely respectful.

To show that you genuinely care about others' thoughts and feelings and practice active listening, consider the following techniques: Give your full attention: When someone is speaking to you, eliminate distractions and focus solely on them. Maintain eye contact, nod occasionally, and use body language to convey your engagement and interest. Avoid interrupting: Allow the speaker to express their thoughts fully without interruption. Avoid jumping in with your own ideas or finishing their sentences. Reflect and clarify: Paraphrase or summarize what the speaker has said to ensure your understanding. This not only demonstrates your active listening but also allows the speaker to clarify any misunderstandings.

There is a great book called 'You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters' by Kate Murphy, that I highly recommend if you want to improve your active listening (I cheated and listened to it on Audiobook) - this is the best resource I have found on this topic.