How can you show empathy and support to your peers through eye contact?

Consider this… Eye contact isn't a straightforward measure of empathy. We're all unique. While some find it easy, others, like introverts or neurodiverse individuals, struggle. Cultural differences also shape its meaning. Given that about 20% identify as neurodiverse, let's rethink the emphasis on eye contact. Strict expectations based on old-school rules are exclusionary and lean towards bias. I’d offer that the path towards achieving true empathy includes understanding and inclusivity. #Inclusion #Respect #WorkplaceCulture

Maintaining appropriate eye contact is, in my opinion, the single most effective way of communicating “you have my full attention; what you’re saying is important, and I care enough to actively listen.” In today’s age of so many distractions - whether high-tech watches, phones, or other visual distractions, a break in eye contact while checking an email or glancing at who’s calling gives the alert “whatever this may be has earned my attention over what you’re saying.” In the long run, caring peers who give their full attention by watching and listening will be more successful. If you don’t have enough time to do that, be respectful and let the person know, set an alternate time to meet, and preserve the relationship.

This is where understanding the person and context are so important, as well as understanding that not all people value eye contact in the same way. As already stated, people who are neurodivergent, with trauma backgrounds, or from a different culture, will approach eye contact differently. Demonstrating presence and attention are more universal ways to connect, and can be tailored for situation, person and context.

Eye contact can be a powerful tool in conveying empathy and support, but it's crucial to be mindful of needs when utilizing this form of communication. Some people may feel uncomfortable with prolonged or intense eye contact, especially if they have experienced trauma. Mirror their level of eye contact; if they are avoiding, you can maintain a soft gaze without making them feel pressured to reciprocate. If they initiate, respond in kind, showing that you are present and attentive. Recognize that maintaining eye contact for an extended period can be draining. Provide opportunities for breaks, allowing your peers to recharge as needed. Be mindful of social and cultural needs.

Eye contact can convey nonverbal cues such as reassurance and encouragement. For example, if my peer starts to tear up while sharing their story, maintaining eye contact allows me to offer a supportive nod or a comforting smile, letting them know that it's okay to express their emotions and that I'm here to support them through it.

Si bien es cierto que desde chicos nos ense?aron a mirar a la persona que habla, este contacto no debería ser ojos a ojos por tiempo muy prolongado, esto puede causar inseguridad, incomodidad y hasta intimidación. En mi opinión, el contacto visual tiene gran poder pero debe usar se con discreción, alternándola con la vista al horizonte, a otra parte del rostro, a un objeto específico (especialmente si estamos explicando algo). En fin, debemos ser conscientes del poder de una mirada a los ojos del otro, por lo que también deberíamos ser sensibles para percibir cómo está sintiéndose la otra persona y saber si debemos sostener el contacto visual o si es un buen momento para alternar la mirada en distintos focos.

Ajustar el nivel de contacto visual según la intensidad de la conversación y alternar entre hablar y escuchar con miradas fomenta la confianza y el respeto. Importante también es romper ocasionalmente el contacto para evitar incomodidad y respetar los límites personales, adaptándose a las preferencias de cada persona. Estas prácticas reflejan sensibilidad y adaptabilidad, esenciales para conexiones auténticas y respetuosas. Implementarlas conscientemente puede transformar nuestras interacciones, creando un ambiente de apoyo y comprensión mutua.

In my opinion, degree of eye contact isn't necessarily a good indicator of empathy (or attention, or professionalism, or... anything). Many people find eye contact to be uncomfortable or that it actually decreases their ability to "tune in". Expecting people to practice eye contact to conform to neurotypical social skill expectations is neither trauma informed nor neurodivergent affirming practice. Look for other contextual indicators that someone is engaged in your conversation.

La grabación de uno mismo es muy eficaz y permite un análisis detallado de nuestro uso del contacto visual, mientras que recibir comentarios de amigos o compa?eros ofrece perspectivas externas valiosas. La integración de herramientas online y simulaciones aumenta nuestras oportunidades de práctica en entornos variados, adaptándonos a la era digital. Esta práctica consciente fortalece la comunicación empática, mejorando nuestras relaciones y conexiones humanas de manera significativa.

Como toda habilidad, el contacto visual debe practicarse para dominarse, muchas veces no somos conscientes del lenguaje corporal que acompa?a a nuestra mirada, ya que nunca va sola. Recuerdo que una vez, alguien de mi equipo me hizo caer en cuenta de la rudeza de mi mirada cuando estaba preocupada, enojada o con estrés, en esos momentos levantaba levemente la ceja izquierda mientras la derecha se mantenía relajada, lo que era interpretado como un aviso inequívoco de que nadie podía ni mover un músculo, siendo que nada estaba más lejos de mi intención que eso. Ser consciente de esto nos permitirá modelar tanto el contacto visual como todo nuestra comunicación no verbal de manera que sea congruente con el mensaje que deseamos transmitir.

Lorsque l'on a des difficultés à regarder l'autre dans les yeux, il convient de le regarder juste à la base du crane ou au milieu du front . Ainsi j'apprends progressivement à entrer en interaction visuelle avec l'autre et mon interlocuteur sent que je m'intéresse à lui.

If you are not familiar with or comfortable with making eye contact, practice, practice, practice! One way to start is to start small. Begin by making eye contact for a few seconds at a time and gradually increase the duration as you become more comfortable. The more you are comfortable with making eye contact, the more you can be present in the giving of your support to your peer. Your peer can feel your uncomfortableness and can make the encounter awkward. Instead, practice to build confidence in your communication skills.

Other factors to consider when discussing eye contact are cultural differences and gender dynamics. The rules for making eye contact vary across cultures. As a peer, we should be open to learning about other cultures to avoid our gesture of support to be misunderstood and thought to be a gesture of disrespect. Be mindful of these dynamics to avoid making assumptions based on the culture or gender of the peer.

When we talk about eye contact for encouragement or reinforcement, it is important to get the rest of the facial expression right. So it is very important to be genuinely engaged. Because we can fake everything else, including a smile and a head nod, but the eyes will give away. And therefore being sincerely interested is the first. A nice, subtle, smile to go with it makes for an encouraging feedback, alongwith following the movement of the speaker. Relevantly nodding your head in agréement is another body language element to use to supplement the eye contact.

What a load of absolute flannel! Empathy is the stuff of science fiction as there is absolutely no chance of an absolute commonality of experience between 2 individuals. This leads to stupid people believing that empathy is how they would feel in another's situation! It is NOT. It IS how that person is feeling. More millenials unable to grasp why everyone doesn't think the exact same way as they do! Do not hire anyone who describes themselves as empathic! Definitely don't hire anyone why says they're empathetic. Neither have empathy and both will be thick whingeing snowflakes who are hyper sensitive to anything they don't like.