How can you set realistic goals with assertiveness?

1 Assess your current situation

Before you set any goals, it is essential to have a comprehensive and honest view of your current situation. This includes evaluating your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats (SWOT) in relation to your desired outcomes. A SWOT analysis tool can be used or you can simply answer these questions: what are you good at and what do you enjoy doing? What areas do you need to improve or learn? What external factors can help or hinder your progress? What potential risks or challenges might you face? Doing a SWOT analysis can help you recognize your resources, gaps, and priorities, which will enable you to set realistic and achievable goals.

2 Define your SMART goals

Once you have a clear picture of your current situation, you can start defining your goals using the SMART criteria. SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. These criteria help you make your goals clear, concrete, and trackable. For instance, rather than saying "I want to be more confident", you could say "I want to speak up more in meetings by asking or answering at least one question per week for the next three months". To apply the SMART criteria to your goals effectively, use precise and positive language to describe what you want to accomplish, why, and how. Additionally, use numbers or milestones to track your progress and success. Furthermore, make sure your goals are realistic and within your control and capacity. Additionally, ensure that they align with your values, interests, and long-term vision. Finally, set a deadline or a timeframe for your goals to create a sense of urgency and motivation.

3 Plan your action steps

After defining your SMART goals, you should plan the action steps that will help you achieve them. These are the specific tasks or activities that need to be done to move closer to your goals. Each goal should be broken down into smaller and manageable chunks, and a priority and timeline should be assigned to each one. For example, if your goal is to speak up more in meetings, some of your action steps could be preparing a list of questions or comments before each meeting, identifying the best time and way to intervene during the meeting, practicing your voice and body language in front of a mirror or a friend, and asking for feedback from a colleague or mentor after each meeting. Planning your action steps creates a roadmap for success and helps prevent procrastination and overwhelm.

4 Communicate your goals and needs

Communicating your goals and needs effectively to others is a key part of being assertive. This means expressing what you want and expect with clarity, respect, and confidence, without being rude or aggressive. Doing this can help you gain support, feedback, and accountability from others, as well as avoiding conflicts and misunderstandings. To communicate assertively, use "I" statements to convey your feelings and perspectives, rather than blaming or accusing. Utilize assertive language such as "I prefer", "I request", or "I propose" instead of passive or aggressive language, like "I don't mind", "You should", or "You must". Additionally, use active listening skills such as paraphrasing, clarifying, and summarizing to demonstrate that you understand the other person's point of view. Lastly, give positive feedback and appreciation to acknowledge the other person's cooperation and contribution. By communicating your goals and needs assertively, you can build trust, rapport, and collaboration with others while boosting your self-confidence and credibility.