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How can you separate your emotions from conflict resolution?

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Conflict resolution is a vital skill for any professional, but it can also be emotionally challenging. When you are involved in a conflict, you may feel angry, hurt, frustrated, or defensive. These emotions can cloud your judgment, impair your communication, and escalate the situation. How can you separate your emotions from conflict resolution and achieve a positive outcome? Here are some tips to help you.

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John Kriger

Keynote Speaker, Bestselling Author, Tech Addiction Expert, Org. Consultant, 30+ yr Adjunct Faculty Rutgers School SW &…

1 Identify your triggers

The first step to separating your emotions from conflict resolution is to understand what triggers them. Triggers are events, words, or behaviors that provoke an emotional reaction in you. They may be related to your past experiences, values, beliefs, or expectations. By identifying your triggers, you can become more aware of your emotional responses and prepare yourself for dealing with them. You can also communicate your triggers to the other party and ask them to respect them.

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John Kriger

Keynote Speaker, Bestselling Author, Tech Addiction Expert, Org. Consultant, 30+ yr Adjunct Faculty Rutgers School SW & Ctr. for Addiction Studies, Former Addiction Counselor and Sexual Abuse Investigator
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The best time to learn self management is before you need it. Learn to take three breaths in to a count of 3, with an elongated exhale to the count of 4 after each of them. if you practice this before you need it, when you’re in a conflict situation, you can automatically take the three breaths and find yourself centered, rather than reacting from emotion.

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Jill Nagle

Dismantling white supremacy from the inside out
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Identifying one's own triggers might be harder than it sounds. Many of us do not think on this level. Once we do know something about our triggers, it can be helpful to practice slowing down, centering ourselves, and making a choice about what to communicate and how.

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2 Manage your stress

The second step to separating your emotions from conflict resolution is to manage your stress level. Stress can amplify your emotions and make you more reactive and less rational. To reduce your stress, you can use various techniques, such as breathing exercises, meditation, positive affirmations, or physical activity. You can also take a break from the conflict if you feel overwhelmed and resume the conversation when you are calmer.

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Marty Dubin

EA. Ofc Mgr. I build environments in which people can work at their natural best.
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The last sentence here is imperative. I was having a heated debate with a coworker on the best way to improve our SOP. Tempers were beginning to flare, frustration was on the rise. I asked for 5 minutes to use the bathroom, during which time I splashed some water on my face, took a breath, and took a minute to consider why this person was insisting on their way. Then I went back and asked them that exact question, and we were able to compromise because I now understood WHY they wanted it their way, rather than just going around in circles on the merits of the individual work processes.

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3 Listen actively

The third step to separating your emotions from conflict resolution is to listen actively to the other party. Listening actively means paying attention to what they are saying, how they are saying it, and what they are feeling. It also means asking open-ended questions, paraphrasing what you heard, and expressing empathy. By listening actively, you can show respect, build rapport, and understand their perspective. You can also avoid misunderstandings, assumptions, and judgments that can fuel your emotions.

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4 Express yourself assertively

The fourth step to separating your emotions from conflict resolution is to express yourself assertively. Expressing yourself assertively means stating your thoughts, feelings, and needs clearly, respectfully, and confidently. It also means using "I" statements, avoiding blame, criticism, or insults, and focusing on the problem, not the person. By expressing yourself assertively, you can convey your message effectively, protect your rights, and prevent resentment or aggression.

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Marty Dubin

EA. Ofc Mgr. I build environments in which people can work at their natural best.
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This is extremely difficult to do, especially if this conflict is with someone "above you." Personally I have found posture is a great way to put yourself in a position to express assertively. If you are sitting, lean forward a bit, keep both feet on the floor. If you are standing, balance your weight on both feet, toes pointed towards the other person, and keep your hands out of your pockets, arms uncrossed.

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5 Seek solutions collaboratively

The fifth step to separating your emotions from conflict resolution is to seek solutions collaboratively. Seeking solutions collaboratively means working with the other party to find a mutually beneficial outcome that satisfies both of your interests and needs. It also means brainstorming ideas, evaluating options, compromising, and agreeing on action steps. By seeking solutions collaboratively, you can foster trust, cooperation, and goodwill. You can also create a win-win situation that enhances your relationship.

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6 Learn from the experience

The sixth step to separating your emotions from conflict resolution is to learn from the experience. Learning from the experience means reflecting on what happened, what you did well, what you could improve, and what you learned. It also means giving and receiving feedback, acknowledging your mistakes, and celebrating your achievements. By learning from the experience, you can grow as a person, improve your skills, and prevent future conflicts.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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How can you separate your emotions from conflict resolution?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Identify your triggers

2 Manage your stress

3 Listen actively

4 Express yourself assertively

5 Seek solutions collaboratively

6 Learn from the experience

7 Here’s what else to consider

Conflict Resolution

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How can you separate your emotions from conflict resolution?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Identify your triggers

2 Manage your stress

3 Listen actively

4 Express yourself assertively

5 Seek solutions collaboratively

6 Learn from the experience

7 Here’s what else to consider

Conflict Resolution

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