How can you reduce conflict escalation?

1 Identify the stage of escalation

One of the first steps to reduce conflict escalation is to identify the stage of escalation that the conflict is in. According to the Glasl's Escalation Model, there are nine stages of escalation, ranging from hardening of positions to complete destruction of the other party. Each stage has different characteristics, emotions, and behaviors that indicate the level of severity and complexity of the conflict. By recognizing the stage of escalation, you can tailor your response and intervention accordingly and avoid making the situation worse.

2 Choose an appropriate resolution style

Another step to reduce conflict escalation is to choose an appropriate resolution style that matches the situation and your goals. According to the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument, there are five resolution styles: competing, collaborating, compromising, avoiding, and accommodating. Each style has its advantages and disadvantages, depending on the importance of the issue and the relationship. By choosing a resolution style that balances your assertiveness and cooperativeness, you can increase your chances of reaching a satisfactory outcome and preserving the relationship.

3 Use effective communication skills

A third step to reduce conflict escalation is to use effective communication skills that can foster understanding, empathy, and respect. Some of the communication skills that can help you de-escalate conflicts are: listening actively, asking open-ended questions, paraphrasing and summarizing, expressing your feelings and needs, using "I" statements, acknowledging the other party's perspective, refraining from blaming or criticizing, and using positive and constructive language. By using these communication skills, you can reduce misunderstandings, defuse emotions, and build rapport.

4 Seek external help if needed

A fourth step to reduce conflict escalation is to seek external help if needed. Sometimes, conflicts are too complex, entrenched, or volatile to be resolved by the parties themselves. In such cases, it may be beneficial to seek external help from a neutral third party, such as a mediator, arbitrator, counselor, or coach. External help can provide a fresh perspective, facilitate dialogue, offer guidance, suggest solutions, or make decisions. However, external help should be sought only with the consent and participation of all parties involved.

5 Learn from the experience

A final step to reduce conflict escalation is to learn from the experience and prevent future conflicts. After resolving a conflict, it is useful to reflect on what caused it, how it escalated, how it was resolved, and what can be improved. You can also ask for feedback from the other party or the external help, and express your appreciation and gratitude. By learning from the experience, you can identify your strengths and weaknesses, improve your conflict resolution skills, and strengthen your relationships.

6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?