Feedback is a crucial part of coaching and mentoring, as it helps learners to improve their performance, skills, and confidence. However, feedback can also be challenging, as it requires sensitivity, clarity, and honesty. How can you provide reflective and self-aware feedback that supports your learners' growth and development? Here are some tips to help you.
Before giving feedback, you should have a clear idea of what you want to achieve and how it aligns with the learner's goals and expectations. Do you want to reinforce positive behaviors, correct mistakes, suggest improvements, or explore new perspectives? How does your feedback relate to the learner's progress, challenges, and aspirations? By defining the purpose of your feedback, you can make it more relevant, meaningful, and constructive.
A useful framework for giving feedback is the SBI model, which stands for Situation, Behavior, and Impact. This model helps you to describe the specific context and actions that you observed, and the effects that they had on yourself, others, or the outcome. For example, you could say: "In the last meeting, you asked insightful questions that showed your interest and understanding of the project (situation and behavior). This made the client feel more confident and engaged, and they agreed to extend the contract (impact)." The SBI model helps you to provide factual, objective, and evidence-based feedback that avoids judgments, assumptions, or emotions.
Feedback should not be a one-way communication, but a dialogue that invites the learner's input and reflection. By asking open-ended questions, you can encourage the learner to share their thoughts, feelings, and insights about their performance, strengths, and areas for improvement. For example, you could ask: "How do you think you did in that presentation? What went well and what could you do differently next time? How did you prepare and what did you learn from the experience?" Open-ended questions help you to understand the learner's perspective, stimulate their self-awareness, and foster their ownership of their learning process.
Right kind of open ended questions can help a mentee/coached dig deeper into their own thought processes. Mentees need to find their own answers. If the coached can reach a self awareness on how they can improve and what went wrong, they will go that extra mile to fix it. Direct feedback sometimes can be taken negatively. You can act as a guide to help them explore certain directions but not give them the answer. As a mentor your answer may not be their answer as their journey maybe very different from yours.
The way you deliver your feedback can make a big difference in how it is received and acted upon. Using positive language can help you to express your feedback in a supportive, respectful, and encouraging way that motivates the learner to improve. Positive language includes words and phrases that acknowledge the learner's efforts, achievements, and potential, such as "well done", "I appreciate", "I noticed", "you have improved", "you can", and "I believe in you". Positive language also avoids negative words and phrases that can demoralize, criticize, or blame the learner, such as "you failed", "you should", "you don't", "you always", and "you never".
Feedback is not a one-time event, but an ongoing process that requires follow up and follow through. After giving feedback, you should check in with the learner to see how they are doing, what they are working on, and what support they need. You should also monitor their progress, celebrate their achievements, and provide additional feedback as needed. By following up and following through, you can show your commitment, interest, and care for the learner, and help them to achieve their goals and reach their potential.
Giving feedback that makes someone think and understand themselves better is like a helpful chat. Begin with the positives – what's going well. Then, gently bring up areas to think about, not as criticism, but more like, "Hey, let's explore this together." Use specific examples; it's like painting a clear picture. Ask questions that make them reflect, like, "How did that feel?" It's like helping them see themselves in a mirror. Keep it friendly and open, so it's more of a convo than a lecture. This way, you're not just giving feedback; you're sparking self-awareness and growth.
In addition to the previous points, employing the "sandwich" method for self-aware feedback can be beneficial. This method involves starting with a positive aspect, addressing areas for improvement, and closing with another positive point. It's an effective technique within mentoring relationships.