How can you mentor coachees who resist change in Executive Coaching?

You can tell this article is ai generated. It is a reasonable string of words, that on deeper investigation posits absolute nonsense. You can’t coach someone who doesn’t want to change. There are two types of coaching , paid by the individual, and paid by the organisation. An individual who has no desire to change won’t engage a coach. For a corporate engagement where the organisation has decided someone needs a coach, you have to establish between all three parties what the purpose of the coaching is (first half of your ICF core competency 3); and the willingness to change. Don’t take on a guaranteed failure. Your reputation is at risk. Learn how to fix this problem at simplicityofmastery.com

I ask the coachee to tell me one problem or conflict on his table. Once this was a meeting on the next Monday. He had hard time communicating with the very predjudiced customer. I gave him some tips and hints on communication - CIQ and Appreciative Inquiry etc. The meeting went vey well on his side, which helped building trust. So my suggestion is start coaching with his urgent need, the first challenging meeting on his agenda.

Pour qu'un coaching d'executif réussisse trois conditions sont nécessaires : la première est que l'executif le veuille, la deuxième qu'il ait du potentiel de développement et la troisième, certainement la plus difficile à cerner, est qu'il se trouve dans un contexte favorable à son développement. Si ces conditions ne sont pas réunies le coach gagne un mandat, mais frustre son client, son entreprise et se dévalorise lui-même et sa profession qui n'en n'a pas vraiment besoin.

I once mentored someone who had devoted the last 20 years to caring for her child with Cerebral Palsy. After her child passed away, she finally considered prioritizing herself and embracing life. However, having dedicated two decades to meeting others' needs, she encountered a profound fear when attempting to focus on her own well-being. She struggled immensely, feeling disconnected from the world. Therefore, it becomes crucial to comprehend an individual's background and lifestyle. This understanding allows us to assess whether the person possesses the necessary skills or the motivation to progress.

Why are you with the client, have they come to you or has the organisation placed you there ..? Whatever the version our role is to support ….. contracting feels immensely important isn’t it always!. As I type this my thinking wanders towards the notion of ‘Always be Contracting’! Where there is resistance, try to understand why, explore the why… revisit the why consistently, and importantly, without judgement. Do they want/see the need for change or is it the organisation? the opportunity to establish a ‘version of truth’ feels important - we may approach this through perceptual positions or other such tools; the keys to understanding the resistance is permission, non-judgment and the notion of being in service of the client…

It's crucial to recognize that a person's limiting beliefs often trace back to influences like parental guidance, caregivers, teachers, and family dynamics. These elements greatly shape an individual's perspective and contribute to their reluctance towards change. I've observed numerous instances where older family members impose limitations on younger or junior individuals based on their own beliefs. However, if the person is fortunate or rebellious enough to break free from negative influences, they tend to exhibit greater courage in facing challenges. Past experiences play a significant role in shaping present perceptions and behaviors, highlighting the profound impact of one's history on their current mindset and actions.

When faced with apparent resistance to change due to limited beliefs, I often ask coachee, "What does this belief give you, and what does it take away from you?" This inquiry aims to shift the coachee's perspective, prompting them to assess their beliefs in a more rational way, label the emotions associated with them, consider their impact on decision making, and consequent behaviors. Additionally, I engage in a 'fact and fiction' exercise to scrutinise whether the embraced beliefs align with reality and contribute positively to the individual's goals and purpose. Upon achieving awareness of the impact of beliefs, there is an increased likelihood of fostering motivation for change.

This is something that reflects me. After meeting up with Dr. Wendy, this has simply solved all my limitations of my belief and confidence in acheving my goal.

One way I have found helpful is to direct questions or reflections to a "logical, measurable context" a bit like what Directors do with business metrics; therefore, they can reframe from a very familiar way of weighing the impact of coaching.

In my experiences after sessions where trust has been made, I ask my client how their belief has served or disserved them. They need to answer in the 1st person. 1) What have I gotten out of believing... 2) What are the possibilities if I stop believing this... 3) Ask them what they are willing to do (1st step)... 4) If they aren't able to present any ideas, give them three choices, 1) Totally outside their comfort zone, 2) An action they've seen others do with no negative consequences, and 3) A very easy action for them to take based on what they've divulged to you, 4) An action they have taken before but perhaps in a slightly different environment. How will they be accountable?

Most executives know the value of data to make decisions. Most have created success for themselves in their career by being able see the information and make educated decisions. In my coaching, I often find that these executives now need to see the data to prove they need to change. That kind of data is hard to find. Tools mentioned, like SWOT analysis and the rest must include quantitative data so the executive can justify the change. Too often, analytics at the higher levels are a lot more "squishy". To win the executive over, you can't short change the effort to quantify the more qualitative analysis to address the need for real data.

In the end, the most important thing is to help the coachee see why and how the current reality is more frightening or less beneficial than any other possibility. Only then will he or she be able to take that first, necessary step forward.

In my experience, when leaders initially hesitate about having an executive coach, it helps to take a positive approach. Frame it as a recognition of their high potential, with the organization investing in their success. Understand their concerns and turn them into opportunities for growth. Think of executive coaching not just as a remedy for weaknesses but as a means to fortify specific strengths. Share realistic examples of successful leaders who've thrived with their private coaches, emphasizing how coaching enhances specific areas of strength, making them even more formidable in their roles.

Of course seeing a luminous picture of the desired future is the core of transformational mentoring. Personal experience sharing by the mentor often does it. The mentor will have to be patient, and if, necessary, go back and forth between Goal and Reality. If the Mentor is well versed in NLP, then the visualisation process can be very powerfully used.

Além de explorar os benefícios e custos da mudan?a, muitas vezes é necessário estimular o coachee a identificar os riscos em n?o mudar. Resistir pode resultar na obsolescência profissional, desvolariza?ao por parte dos colegas e o isolamento. Comparar os riscos da mudan?a e os riscos da n?o mudan?a, pode encorajar o coachee a tomar a decis?o correta.

It is a collaborative effort having the confidence and being committed to change. Once the self-realization and discovery are met, coachees can now identify: How they can make the change? Why must change be good for them? When will they dive into making changes? Who will support them through the process? Visualization is a strong technique that can help coachees navigate through change successfully it enhances their confidence and provides a sense of purpose. As the coach, I can encourage coachees to look at change as a catalyst for growth, where they can use the setbacks- adverse experiences as stepping stones to progress and excel.

No one likes change. It’s natural. Homeostasis: the body seeks balance. I think people mostly just fear the change so confidently trying to be different (1) works (2) takes confidence. We all self doubt. It likely to feel self doubt during times of change. So, you can see how it is all connected. Change, brings fear of change, which brings self doubt and then you see the well craved mental resistance that now has to be talked about. Tell them you believe they can do it. Tell them why. They can, and they will. But they need help to see past the fear. I hope this helps :)

Atravesar el proceso de cambio lleva momentos difíciles. El aprendizaje y el crecimiento son claves en esta etapa para que la persona vaya tomando seguridad en sí misma y se atreva a explorar nuevas oportunidades que no habrían surgido de no ser por ese cambio. Ahí es donde surge la chispa de la motivación, donde se libera la dopamina necesaria para la acción. Paso a paso la persona irá descubriendo nuevos aspectos de sí misma y de lo que es capaz de hacer y lograr. Todo esto retroalimenta también una mayor liberación de dopamina y serotonina necesarias para seguir avanzando. La confianza, la motivación y el compromiso se concretarán en resultados tangibles hasta llegar a la superación completa del cambio.

Aquí, completando el comentario de LinkedIn, los objetivos SMART deben ser SMART-C, la C es por "comunicables": pocas cosas son más efectivas para impulsar la actitud positiva hacia al cambio que reconocer y divulgar a todos el avance que las personas realizan al cambiar.

In my experience, most coachees are committed to some degree of action once they understand what is required. It is then testing and providing support around how far the commitment extends… will they do this one thing or these 5 things? His much discomfort will they tolerate?

The way that works for me in facilitating the learning and growth in the coachee is to embed the habit of Double loop learning in the mentoring process itself. It can happen while sharing personal example, like ' when I looked back to check, I realized that...'. Using certain framework like ' what to hold onto' ' what to avoid doing' and 'what to modify' helps the coachee to adapt it automatically, and turn into a new habit.

Resistance to change can show up on a sponsored coaching and hence it begs a question on the authenticity of the engagement to begin with. Having said that if a coach strikes a chord on taking the coachee to a deep self-reflection journey and new found self-awareness (as a result) - That increases the possibility to lower the resistance wall.

The first step is to get curious and ask powerful open-ended questions about why the client is resisting change. Cultivating curiosity is the key to unlocking what's holding someone back from seeing the possibilities that change can usher in.

Set the scene and raise awareness about one's coachability. As leaders age research has found (Folkman, 2023; Wilde, 2023) that they are less receptive to coaching. Perhaps it's the belief that they've see it all and there's nothing new to learn. Using a self assessment on coachability will help bring these tendencies out into the open, prepare the coachee for 360 feedback and sharpen awareness about the importance of being open to new things.

Consider what mode of consciousness a person is operating from. Lower levels include fear and survival, higher levels include observation and imagination. Knowing where a person is operating from can help you help them.

A Coaching Relationship often begins with defined goalposts - overall themes, individual session goals, etc. When decisions are made by individuals they often stick to them, they need a larger support system around to integrate the change. A good coach works with the client to create the plan, timelines, support required, outcome measures and helps the client review and course correct.

This is the last and most important step in the process. There’s a huge diference between a formal performance appraisal, and a coaching follow-up. It should be within the same rapport and trust developed at the beginning, with an eye to eye conversations about the possible obstacles in the milestones developed. I’m not a specialist in cocking, nor have any certification in this area, as many great professional do. My conclusions comes from years of experience of helping, supporting and coaching people to grow in their careers. I can say that there’s no better tool than a candid and open conversation, with no formal processes of evaluation, but the sincere interest in the other person. That’s how you lead people to grow.

Un ejemplo de evaluación continua es el feedback constante, pero no centrado en emitir un juicio en el pasado sino más bien centrado en el aprendizaje y la reflexión para mejorar en el futuro. Por eso el concepto feedforward de Marshall Goldsmith es tan efectivo, ya que puedes preguntar “qué me sugieres para mejorar en x…”, “que consejo me darías para…”

Stay out of someone else's 'soup'. Agree on aligned outcomes and take no prisoners. Truth sets people free. Focus on transparency and 'love people to death' - Flying is the only way to travel :-)

O feedback com base em fatos e dados é transformador. Na minha experiência é o que mais funciona, seja com resultados positivos ( esperados) como negativos. Estes últimos, embora frustrem num primeiro momento, alavancam novos desempenhos na dire??o esperada.

Mentors don’t have coachees, they have mentees, and coachees have coaches not Mentors. This is important because the relationship is different. Forgiving semantics, if the coachee isn’t able to commit to the actions, maybe we haven’t got to the real objection or problem yet?

The question is itself very interesting. Because a purist coach is not there to decide for the client whether change is necessary or not. With pure coaching the decision and responsibility is entirely with the client. If they choose to resist a change the coach believes is necessary they are entirely entitled to do so. It is not for the coach to overcome their resistance to change. That is not to say the coach should be easy on the client in this situation. There are many great and tough questions that could be asked to ensure the client fully understands and accepts the potential consequences of their decision. That is the duty of the coach. To ensure a client is making the best well informed decision for themselves.

I think this question is invalid. Coaches are NOT Mentors, Trainers or Counsellors. As a coach one creates beautiful, confidential and non judgemental space to explore the possibilities for coachee by using various methods except for giving advice. If there is a resistance from coachee then there is a need of deep dive before concluding its resistance or something else.

Sometimes - the person taking on the coachee role just wants to talk regularly with someone they trust and like about what's on their mind. If they have to sign up to be coached in order to get this relationship, so be it. And if you are an approachable, competent person, as well as a coach, then you'll probably do nicely. But if the coach needs the coachee to commit to action in order to be in that coaching relationship, and it doesn't happen, then the focus becomes about lack of buy in, 'resistance', 'not ready for coaching' etc. And then it can become a battle for compliance rather than a partnership for growth. What happens next depends... on how assertive both parties need and choose to be about having their differing needs met.

When faced by resistance—be it denial, confusion, fear, or loyalty—it's essential to understand its roots. In business, if the pushback seems tough or the effort too much, exploring new paths is smart. But diving into why people resist can bring invaluable insights. Identifying the cause, whether cultural or personal, helps tailor strategies—better communication, empowering everyone, respecting past experiences. Dealing with resistance not only smoothens negotiations but also opens doors to win-win scenarios, especially in crucial business relationships. If you have the time, dig deep, it will help you structure your own self better as a mentor. Do it for your own sake than the coachee and I am sure you will find the time.