How can you manage your own emotions and stress levels during high-stakes strategic negotiations?

A few months back one of my professors had a guest lecturer speak in our class. He was none other than Andrew Hilger( Former President of Allegis Group) and one of the key factors he conveyed was and I quote " The main thing is to keep the main thing, the main thing" Confused?? Don't be. Let me explain. Let it be Negotiation or any aspect of life and if you feel overwhelmed with emotions: - Just Pause for a moment. - Take a few deep breaths - And focus on " what is the main thing here", that is why am I here? -or what's the main purpose of me being here?. -or What's my main objective here? Your mind will guide you back to the "MAIN THING". Once you have got that back...rest is history my friend. Hope this helps.

Yes, we are human beings, and human beings have emotions. It makes life interesting, right? Meanwhile we spend so much time controlling emotions, suppressing them. And here the trouble grows. Any unspoken and unlived emotion surfaces at some point of time. Mostly, when the less expected and when their impact is damaging your reality the most. Therefore, friends, mindful acknowledgment of your emotions and conscious decision what to do with them as the first step is crucial for your further health and wellbeing.

If you are negotiating the release of hostages it is always simpler when none of the hostages are your family or friends. In the case of extreme situations, it is always advisable to leave the negotiation in the hands of someone who has no direct interests, to prevent emotions from influencing the negotiation.

We all have emotional triggers—whether it’s feeling dismissed, misunderstood, or pressured. Knowing what sets you off is half the battle. When you feel that flash of frustration or defensiveness creeping in, take a deep breath and remind yourself: “This is just a moment, not the whole negotiation. Stay focused on the bigger picture.”

Practice to perform: know your "material," know your worst acceptable options, market-situation, and PRACTICE to be in high stress situations. Make your emotions work for you, not for your opponents.

My experience shows that during high-stakes strategic negotiations you can do well only those things where you have already mastered during normal negotiations. So - take one stress management tool, practice it daily and then you will have an instrument to rely on during a high stake situation. As a suggestion - one simple instrument to start with - breath in, take an extra breath in, and then exhale. Take care!

I agree but would like to add role-play with some of the tough questions or pushbacks you're expecting. By running through this in advance you're less likely to be caught off guard. I also like to turn this negotiation into a positive experience. Ultimately you are both trying to find the middle ground to work together. Nothing is personal, it's always business.

Preparation is the ultimate antidote to stress. Knowing your goals, the other party’s potential priorities, and the range of acceptable outcomes will make you feel grounded and in control. Anticipate challenges, think through counterarguments, and rehearse your responses. When you walk in prepared, you’re less likely to be rattled by surprises.

Study, study, study. As much as humanly possible develop broad and deep know-how of technology in question, of financial and policy circumstances, understand situation and status of your opponents better than they do. You have to know quality and depth of "human equity" of your opponents: who are they, put them in "stress" or off-balance situation for you to run the discussion. You have to know benchmarks of decision-makers on your opponent team, put them out of balance with your knowledge of technology and market, and then you will have good chances of winning. If negotiations are critical, dozens and dozens of hours of preparation to cover maybe one or 2 hours at the table.

Hugely depends on the cultural environment of negotiations. In some cases, calm demeanor works better. In some other cases, more active expression of emotions delivers better results. I believe that in most cases, MATERIAL outcome of negotiations depends on technical benefits of both parties. In my view, only 10-15% of outcome depends on skills and emotional load of negotiating teams. For a skilled negotiator, demonstration of emotions is a TOOL, which, if applied correctly, would help.

This is my as mediation expert advice that works every time: You can express your emotions verbally describing what you feel, express in "I" message format. That will help other party to remain open and even show empathy towards you.

It can add a lot of value to call out the emotions you are anticipating your counterpart having before you make the move that you think will triggger them. As an example, "You're about to think that I'm not considering the impact of my request on you, but I suspect this will incur additonal costs for your team." This shows them that you are considering their position, which makes people feel more reciprocal.

In negotiations, there are two key types of interests to consider: substantive (what) and relational (with who). Successful negotiators strive to resolve the substantive issues collaboratively while preserving and enhancing the relationship. When emotions run high, it becomes equally important to manage not only your own emotions but also to recognize, understand, and effectively respond to the emotions of others involved in the negotiation. A powerful tool for managing the emotions of others is asking open-ended questions. These types of questions encourage the other party to express their thoughts and feelings, providing you with valuable insights into their emotional state and underlying concerns.

A few ways you can manage your emotions: - take deep breaths - go for a walk - talk to someone you trust And tons more. It really depends on the person and what situation they happen to be in, of course.

Totally agree that managing the emotions of the other party is absolutely crucial in negotiations. That is precisely why our choice of words is so important. "Your concerns are completely valid, and I want to make sure we address them together" "I can see that this point is important to you, and I want to understand how we can find a solution that works for both parties." "These discussions have not been easy, and I appreciate your honesty about your feelings regarding the terms." When we empathise with them and validate their feelings, we pave the way for smoother interactions and contribute to a more constructive and amicable negotiation environment.

A key to managing your emotions is a comprehensive preparation before the negotiations begin. Understanding the total content of what you are negotiating and what your alternatives are helps bring confidence to the table to exam the "what if" scenarios.

Sharing here some questions that have helped me to process and learn from my emotions: 1. What emotions am I currently experiencing about this negotiation, and why? 2. Are there any past experiences or biases affecting my emotional state going into this negotiation? 3. Did my initial emotions align with how I felt at the end of the negotiation? If not, what changed and why? 4. How did my emotions influence my decision-making during the negotiation? 5. Did I effectively manage stress or pressure during the negotiation? If not, what strategies can I use moving forward? 6. Are there any recurring patterns in my emotional responses across different negotiations?

Managing (not suppressing) your emotions is of the utmost importance for successful negotiations. Even If you have read a book, it is still always about practicing, not theory. And start practicing in situations which are less charged, be conscious of your progress and development area. Breathing and visualization techniques normally are the first to try out.

Developing your skills to handle your emotions is thankfully something you can practice everyday in your own life. Maybe your dog chewed up furniture, maybe your child refuses to do homework, or maybe your significant other is feeling frustrated with you: all of these are opportunities to practice being curious rather than defensive, responsive rather than reactive. Pay attention to how you feel and how you've responded. Learn from the experience, however it turned out. All of this practice will be noticeable in your professional life as once you feel emotions running hot, you'll recognize how to respond just as you learned in practice.

Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, manage, and effectively use your own emotions as well as the emotions of others. In a negotiation you always can put yourself in the other person's position and try to use their emotions to your advantage.

One of the biggest tips I give to the law students to whom I teach drafting and negotiating is to get out of their own way. What does that mean in practicality? It means to learn yourself, figure out your bias, see where you have room to grow, learn what causes you consternation, determine where your ego is at... all of these things are part of emotional intelligence and are absolutely necessary to practice at the top of your license.

Como psicólogo de forma??o e entusiasta na área comercial, entendo que o lado emocional contribui 50% na tomada de decis?o em uma negocia??o, os outros 50% est?o divididos em informa??es de mercado, posi??o na negocia??o e oratória (bom speach). Dito isso, a melhor maneira de lidar com um desconforto em uma negocia??o, é entender que naquele contexto absolutamente nada é pessoal. Todos querem o mesmo que você, chegar em um acordo. Desse modo, n?o coloque ambi??es ou afli??es pessoais nas negocia??es, porque a chance de você perder o melhor dos acordos por ego é extremamente grande. Seja impessoal e totalmente cético neste tipo de tratativa que, sem sombra de dúvidas, lhe ajudará a manter o equilíbrio e tomar a melhor decis?o.

Read "Never Split The Difference" by Chris Voss, all the negotiating answers are in there! One of the keys is active listening and asking questions to reveal their true desire.