How can you manage your emotions when a team member is struggling?

As humans, we all experience emotions, both pleasant and unpleasant. To support team members dealing with emotional struggles, leaders must be 'emotionally healthy' and 'emotionally mature'. When facing specific emotions in response to a situation, we should ask ourselves: 1. What triggered these feelings? Are there unresolved past issues causing anger, frustration, or resentment, instead of compassion and understanding for the struggling team member? 2. Where is my focus? Am I prioritizing the team's well-being or my personal goals? 3. What are the consequences if I let my emotions lead my judgement & decision? Answering these questions honestly provides clarity about our emotional responses to the situation. ??????

My boss gave a negative performance review. I am feeling upset, but I don't want to admit it to my boss or my team. I am afraid they'll think I am weak or overreacting. So, I bottle up my emotions and try to go on as if nothing happened. But inside, I am feeling really angry and frustrated. Later that night, I got home and still feeling upset. I am having trouble sleeping and can't concentrate on anything. Many people feel angry and disappointed, but many of them don't want to admit it. Why? - being afraid that people will think they are weak or overreacting. - being afraid they will lose control of themselves. - feel ashamed or guilty for being upset. - or they are just used to bottling up their emotions.

Indeed,it starts from yourselves. Cultivating self-awareness is not that easy because we often mask what is toughest for us to handle with emotions that feel safer. You have to be a keen observer and should be honest about your actions, thoughts, feeling, and behaviors and how it affects those people around you. Audit yourself briefly at the end of each day, like What positive and negative emotions did you have today? Did you feel effective and productive today, if so when and why? When a task intimidates you, do you take over or hang back? When you feel angry, what will you do? Do you react or respond? Likewise, know yourself who you are!! It is the first step to manage your emotions, when the team member is struggling.

Easiest and unfortunately the hardest way to recognize your emotions is to write them. A simple google search on "Expressive writing" would open a wonderful door to you. I've written "hardest" because most of us find it hard to write. Somehow, somewhere we left our writing ability and exchange it to something which I don't know. After writing your feelings, especially the ones that could not be said to anybody, your brain would start to heal those emotions and feelings and you would start to recognize your emotions and learn to deal with them.

Emotional steadiness!! No matter how conscientiously you work to manage your emotions, you probably have some hot buttons you are particularly sensitive to in other people. So, Acknowledge what’s happening as it is, and don’t let your judgment control you Take yourself away from the story, that is be a listener like you are watching this particular situation happen to someone else and think about what would be the best thing you can do for them. Focus on your physical sensations(sweating, palpitation, and heaviness of the head) This gives a cue about your emotional status. During that time, take a deep breath, have some water or if you are in a meeting, hold a pen or any object for a few seconds. Allow yourself to bring back at the moment.

The first step is to acknowledge the feelings. It's okay to feel upset sometimes! Everyone does. Don't try to ignore or push away the emotions. Yes, it is not comfortable, but it is good to be aware that I am upset and find exciting ways to get rid of it. Boxing can release anger. Delicious food helps make a good mood. Writing a journal becomes the channel to throw the sadness and frustration. If still struggling to manage your emotions, it is okay to ask for help from a trusted person. It can be friends, family, or professional coaches.

Writing your emotions would make you understand that, they are like waves. They come and go. Writing helps you to understand yourself and situations that you are in. When a emotional wave hits you, or a storm, you would find it easier to deal with it and at least you would find strength and confidence to tell yourself, it's gonna pass.

Expressive writing would help you to understand how to communicate your emotions in a sincere and appropriate way. When you write, you'll realize your own voice and you will develop empathically listen to your self. This way you'll be able to empathically listen to others and express your your self sincerely.

Building Social awareness at the workplace: If you are a manager, things will go according to your plan if you practice and implement strategically. Here are few, Set ground rules and stick to it Have regular break time Practice?acceptance Be supportive by being flexible and adaptive Be optimistic when things get tough, and focus on what you can control. Avoid blaming, take responsibility Don’t make decisions when you are emotionally disturbed, because emotions cloud your judgment. Validate others, and respect individuality and perspectives while making decisions. Be in the team, and involve everyone while making decisions. Apologize if it is appropriate. A positive mood will influence the motivation and productivity at your workplace.