How can you incorporate positive psychology into coaching couples?

1 Assess their strengths

One of the core concepts of positive psychology is the identification and use of character strengths, which are positive traits that reflect how we think, feel, and behave in different situations. You can help couples discover their individual and shared strengths by using tools such as the VIA Survey, which measures 24 universal strengths under six broad categories. By assessing their strengths, you can help couples appreciate their unique contributions, recognize their potential, and align their goals with their values.

2 Cultivate gratitude

Gratitude is another key element of positive psychology, as it involves acknowledging and expressing appreciation for the good things in life, both big and small. You can help couples cultivate gratitude by encouraging them to keep a gratitude journal, write thank-you notes, share daily affirmations, or practice gratitude meditations. By cultivating gratitude, you can help couples enhance their positive emotions, reduce their negativity bias, and strengthen their bond.

3 Teach positive communication

Positive communication is essential for any healthy and happy relationship, as it involves expressing thoughts and feelings in a respectful, honest, and constructive way. You can teach couples positive communication skills by using techniques such as active listening, paraphrasing, empathizing, validating, and giving feedback. You can also help couples avoid common communication pitfalls such as blaming, criticizing, interrupting, or stonewalling. By teaching positive communication, you can help couples improve their understanding, trust, and intimacy.

4 Promote positive activities

Positive activities are actions that increase positive emotions, such as joy, love, curiosity, or awe. You can promote positive activities by suggesting couples to engage in hobbies, interests, or passions that they enjoy or find meaningful. You can also help couples plan and execute fun and novel experiences, such as traveling, learning, or volunteering. By promoting positive activities, you can help couples boost their happiness, creativity, and connection.

5 Foster growth mindset

Growth mindset is the belief that abilities and qualities can be developed through effort, feedback, and learning. You can foster growth mindset by helping couples embrace challenges, learn from mistakes, seek feedback, and celebrate progress. You can also help couples reframe negative or limiting beliefs, such as "I can't" or "We always", into more positive and empowering ones, such as "I can learn" or "We can change". By fostering growth mindset, you can help couples enhance their motivation, resilience, and adaptation.

6 Support self-care

Self-care is the practice of taking care of one's physical, mental, and emotional health and well-being. You can support self-care by helping couples identify and prioritize their needs, set boundaries, and manage stress. You can also help couples create and follow a self-care plan that includes activities such as exercise, nutrition, sleep, relaxation, meditation, or therapy. By supporting self-care, you can help couples improve their energy, mood, and self-esteem.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?