How can you identify emotional triggers in your clients?

Understanding the clients' emotional triggers can be a never-ending process. The role of a coach is not to fix their emotional triggers issues but to give them guidance and support as they work towards better emotional management. Remembering the four steps - Active Listening, Asking Open-Ended Questions, Identifying Recurring Themes, and Conducting a Self-Assessment - can create a safe space to explore and recognize triggers. Active listening, asking open-ended questions, and paying attention to body language to find recurring themes that relate to emotional triggers can help the clients get the best possible coaching support.

Back when I was a student of Psychology, the idea of defense mechanisms intrigued me. While not solely relying on defence mechanism as their scientific validity is limited, being aware of their influence on behavior may help identify emotional triggers. For instance, denial of need for coaching in the current role might indicate an underlying feeling of perceived incompetence. Similarly, the most common defense mechanism that people may resort to at work could be sublimation, where frustrations arising in various contexts might be subverted in the form of humor. Not all behavior is manifestation of defense mechanism, yet mere awareness that these exist might help the coach in observing and framing questions to validate their thoughts.

Completely agree with this! It's important to pay attention to your client's?feelings and reactions throughout coaching sessions. You may frequently find underlying problems and assist them in moving forward on their trip by observing those small indications.

I completely agree. Although it is not an exact phone that works the exact way for every client every time, there are usually signs in a client’s body language, facial expressions, and vocal tone or volume that give way to signs of an emotional trigger and response occurring. Specifically, I always pay attention to tells in a client’s vocal tone, volume, and facial expressions surrounding the eyes. A widening of the eyes and straining of the sockets always is a tell for me to pay close attention, and proceed forward with precaution.

Working through the emotional triggers of a client starts with spending time with them. The more time spent with a client results in a greater understanding of where they’re coming from and why they’re stuck where they’re at. Without this knowledge no approach will generate growth and it will only serve to create greater disconnection and frustration in those being coached.

The coach can also use reflective statements, rather than questions, which often feel less threatening or intimidating. Sometimes questions can feel loaded with blame, even when they're not meant to. Example: "Did that feel hard?" vs. "I can imagine that felt hard." (pause for reply) "What did you learn from that situation?" vs. "Some situations teach us so much." (pause for reply) "What are you afraid of?" vs. "I'm wondering what you're feeling here." (pause for reply)

‘What is your deepest fear?’ and ‘What is that one goal that you are afraid of declaring, even to yourself?’ These 2 questions propelled my emotional growth in my coaching journey and I have seen them elicit meaning every single time.

a lot of clients are avoiding feelings at all costs. this happens in 2 ways: a) in general they remain in their head, having an intellectual conversation with the coach. and b) when feelings come up they are immediately pushed away or brushed over. while all coaching questions should be open ended in any case, i think the importance here is a) to notice that emotions are coming up and b) pointing this out to the client and c) staying with the emotions by exploring them further. Questions like "what does this mean to you?" "what are you afraid of" keeps them in their heads. instead you want to ask "how" this makes them feel and then dig deeper into these emotions.

I love this approach and help identify clients' emotional triggers by asking open-ended questions, prompting deep self-reflection. This approach reveals the core issues behind emotional responses, as triggers often stem from deeper, less apparent roots. Understanding and addressing these underlying factors is key to healing and progress. My role as a coach is to guide clients in this explorative journey, enabling them to develop strategies to manage and move beyond these triggers.

The most useful open-ended questions are ones that do not lead the client, but leave space for whatever their exact experience is. The Clean Language question 'And what's happening now?' is a one-size fits all question when you want your client to pay attention to what's happening for them on an emotional level in the moment.

Silence is golden and highly underutilized. When noticing a trigger, allow the client the opportunity to work through it in their own mind and body. I heard it said it takes 90 seconds to process an emotion fully. I know we can't wait that long, but most people can't even wait 5 seconds. Compassionate silence sends the message to the other person " I am with you, and I honour your experience". Many times, clients will continue to process emotions after being triggered, and start working through their own disturbance. As a Coach, we need to give them that space and remember they are capable, resourceful, and whole. Give them the space they need.

Empathy and observation are 2 critical hand-in hand skills to spot emotional triggers for your clients. While trying to look for patterns out of observations, also look for the probable reasons that must be acting as a trigger to the clients. Once you understand the probable reasons then asking open ended questions with empathy and active listening, will create a safe space for them to talk and respond. If you are comfortable may be share some of your stories which help you build trust and rapport with the client. Most importantly as a coach, remaining unbiased is non negotiable.

Seasoned coaches know to listen and watch for obvious and subtle signs of emotion as discussed above. What sets superior coaches apart is the ability to tune into their own physical sensations and emotions and interpret them as potential indicators of the client’s emotions. That inexplicable pit in the coach’s stomach or perception of a sudden lightness in the room may stem from deep empathy with the client. Coaches can feedback sensations they believe arise from empathy, in the same way that they feedback listening and watching observations, to check whether their interpretation is accurate. Sharing these empathic sensations can help the client recognize or acknowledge their own emotional shifts and the circumstances that triggered them.

The coach acts as a sounding board or resonance chamber, allowing to identify and uncover emotional experiences of the executive client. By doing so, the coach facilitates a deeper understanding of these emotional triggers and their influence on the clients' cognitive functions, decision making, and building relationships with relevant stakeholders. By addressing and unpacking these triggers, executives may foster more authentic connections, as they navigate interpersonal dynamics with greater emotional intelligence.

The reflective statements can be hit and miss when you listen actively and empathically. For building even more raport, try using only words that the client themselves have used for their state or experience in that moment. If you haven't got words for it yet, you can ask: 'and what's happening now?'

Sometimes the very act of validating their emotions or fears is exactly what they need for themselves to create their own breakthroughs. A big part of coaching is holding up the mirror for our clients and letting them see and feel their thoughts and feelings. Reframing their emotions allows them to see and feel their emotions in a new light and with a different lens. This is a powerful tool to helping your clients see another side of their emotions and beliefs. I often use analogies in the reframing process to help them see and understand more clearly.

"I appreciate how you are dealing with this situation" and "I respect your feelings" don't convey clear meaning, so they don't build much rapport. And the "I" puts the focus on the coach's values. Better: "You are really showing up for yourself." "Your feelings matter." "Thank you for sharing your feelings."

i'm not sure it's my role to VALIDATE a clients feeling, and certainly not to REFRAME. i would prefer to ACKNOWLEDGE the emotion and then explore it further, this helps the client to accept the emotion as being there and helpful and then we can explore how to use it or how to overcome obstacles the emotions create. i believe you can REFRAME a perspective not emotion. an emotion is a very personal "thing" to the client, as a coach i don't interfere with them. when exploring the emotion with the client he gains new information that helps him. giving the client a new perspective will typically lead to a DIFFERENT emotion which you can then explore again.

?? Validate emotion, but reframe perspective. Giving enough time to "observe the obvious" perspective is crucial prior to moving to alternative perspective (that we should help client discover). Only then we guide client to explore whether the alternative perspective could serve them and how.

During a coaching session, a client shared their deep frustration with a colleague's actions, their anger palpable through clenched fists and terse words. I acknowledged their emotions, saying, "I appreciate your honesty in sharing these feelings." As we continued, I gently reframed their anger as a potential source of motivation and growth. I asked, "How can this emotion drive positive change in your interactions with your colleague?" This approach helped the client see their emotions in a new light, leading to a more constructive outlook on the situation.

Be careful of labeling a client's response as an emotional trigger - or anything else for that matter. As coaches, we want to avoid judgments that could be tied to our own biases. What is more important is when you notice a shift in your client, share your observation and invite them to explore it to understand what the reaction is and how it is impacting them. Allow space for the client to explore and learn about their experiences.

Emotional triggers could affect both the coach and the coachee in unpredictable ways. They can evoke positive or negative emotions that can enhance or hinder the discussion. A coach should recognize the emotion and encourage the client to express their feelings associated with the emotion, but not necessarily explore the emotional trigger itself - the reason behind the emotion. A more helpful approach would be to have the coachee reflect on how the emotion affects them in the present moment. The key word is now, for the coachee to stay focused on the session - here and now. And if the coach feels that the emotional trigger is much deeper for the coach to handle, refer a professional counsellor to the coachee.

Here are some interesting ways: 1. Help the client identify their core values. This is where they will be able to become aware about what’s imp to them ,what they believe in and also how they create assumptions about the world unconsciously. 2. Once that’s done, understand in what situations and with whom and about what they get emotionally triggered. 3. Here is where a coach can ask, which of their core values are not being met or they are unable to express.? Which of the core values they expect others to demonstrate? 4. These questions can help them become aware that they may be creating unconscious biases about situations and people by expecting others to behave as per their values This can result in getting triggered emotionally

Coaching busy executives means that for them time is money, the expectation from the coach is to be able to explain "soft topics" in a logical manner and have a tangible return from every coaching session. What works really well to effectively uncover and understand emotional triggers is using a scientifically validated instrument like the Hogan Personality Assessment. It gives a head start to the coaching conversation around potential triggers and how they show up. Saves valuable time upfront which can be much better utilized in helping the executive devise strategies for managing their emotional response.

Remember that identifying emotional triggers is only the first step. Once identified, work with your clients to develop strategies to manage and respond to these triggers more effectively. Help them build emotional resilience and coping mechanisms to navigate their emotions in a healthier and more constructive way. -Observe Non-Verbal Cues -Notice Patterns -Explore Past Experiences -Reflective Feedback -Explore Thoughts and Beliefs -Track Changes Over Time