Stress is inevitable in any workplace, but it can also trigger negative emotions that affect team performance, morale, and well-being. As a leader, you have a responsibility to help your team members manage their emotions during times of stress and foster a positive and supportive work environment. Here are some tips on how to do that.
The first step to help your team members manage their emotions is to understand what triggers them. Different people may react differently to the same situation, depending on their personality, values, expectations, and experiences. You can use tools such as personality tests, feedback surveys, or one-on-one conversations to identify the emotional triggers of your team members and how they cope with them. This will help you tailor your communication, feedback, and support to their needs and preferences.
Working with people individually, I often see many adults who struggle with identifying emotions. This is because we are often not taught emotional literacy or that our environments/cultures struggle to express and hold space for emotions. So of course the first step is to learn about emotions and the function of emotions. In that they are helpful when we understand why the occur and how they are linked to our health and wellbeing.
Emotion Intelligence is about understanding your emotions (in you and around you) and how you behave. The first step to understanding your emotions and their trigger is to let your emotions express and not restrain them. You need to understand the small difference between anxious and worried for example. Understand what triggers these emotions but more importantly, how do you behave when you have these emotions? Are your reactions aligned with what you want your behavior to be?
In my opinion understanding emotional triggers is like deciphering a personalized code – each trigger holds the key to someone's emotional history. It's not just about the present reaction; it's about decoding the layers of past experiences that contribute to the response. Picture it as an emotional puzzle where recognizing triggers is the first step to empathy. By understanding these triggers, you gain insight into the complex landscape of emotions, fostering a more compassionate and considerate connection with others. So, put on your detective hat, explore the context, and unravel the mysteries of emotional triggers!
The second step to help your team members manage their emotions is to model emotional regulation yourself. As a leader, you set the tone for the team and influence their emotional state. If you show calmness, confidence, and resilience in the face of stress, you will inspire your team to do the same. On the other hand, if you show anger, frustration, or anxiety, you will create a negative and tense atmosphere. You can practice emotional regulation by using techniques such as breathing exercises, mindfulness, positive affirmations, or reframing.
As I told you before you need to regulate your behaviors, not your emotions. You need to identify what is your comportment when you have a specific emotion. I'm pretty sure we all have this person in a meeting that starts to shout at everybody because they are angry. It is probably justified to be angry, but the shouting is not. If this person identifies, that they are angry, they can canalize the energy and ask questions to understand what went wrong and how we can fix the problem and capture the lesson learned.
As leaders, we do our best to manage our emotions at work. But I think the most powerful lessons we teach are how we show up when we realize we’re letting our emotions get the best of us. It’s always ok to say things like: - “I’m finding it difficult to stay neutral about this topic. Let me try to restate that from an agnostic point of view.” - “I think I’m getting worked up about this. I’m going to take a 5 min break to regulate my emotions. If anyone else would benefit from a break, feel free to take one, too.” - “I’m having a hard time accepting ___. Give me a moment to reflect on what values this is stepping on for me so I can articulate my concern more clearly.”
The simplest way I know to regulate emotions is to be aware of the sensations they are generating, and learn to experience those sensations without trying to judge or shift them. For example, anger tends to feel hot, and might spread across your face. Just feel it and get curious about how it feels, where you notice tiny shifts and changes. If that's still difficult, slow down your breathing. That sends a signal to your brain letting you know you're safe. Emotions pass if we don't hang on to them with stories and explanations. When you allow yourself to be present to your moment-to-moment experience, without evaluating or judging it, you can regulate your emotions so you can adapt to whatever comes your way.
Once we are able to theoretically understand emotions, we can then start to experience emotion. One way I recommend to clients is to log and reflect on what emotions they notice, label them and begin to identify their possible function. And on top of this, for them to link the bodily sensation they may experience the emotion. For many, we feel the physical first, like a lump in the throat or legs feeling wobbly. Once we can link these up we can then work on holding space for these physical sensations and emotions. Emotions of course, show up at work. We get angry, frustrated, anxious etc. So as a leader, learn to identify the emotion (label it in your head). The begin to think about how and why this emotion is serving you.
The third step to help your team members manage their emotions is to provide emotional support. Emotional support is the act of showing empathy, compassion, and care for your team members when they are feeling stressed or overwhelmed. You can provide emotional support by listening actively, acknowledging their feelings, validating their concerns, and offering encouragement and solutions. You can also create a culture of emotional support by encouraging your team members to share their feelings, express gratitude, and help each other.
Talking about emotions is important and to normalise conversations around this. To feel is to be alive. Therefore as a leader create time and space to notice emotions and name them. Could it be that world events are causing sadness and grief, or that a project is impacting on staff morale? Name it and allow for employees to take action based on their needs. The best you can do is normalise and signpost, but at most be real.
The fourth step to help your team members manage their emotions is to teach emotional skills. Emotional skills are the abilities to recognize, understand, and regulate one's own and others' emotions. These skills are essential for effective communication, collaboration, and problem-solving in teams. You can teach emotional skills by providing training, coaching, or mentoring on topics such as emotional intelligence, emotional awareness, emotional expression, and emotional management. You can also use feedback, role-playing, or case studies to help your team members practice and improve their emotional skills.
I find it helpful to coach my clients on the FLAT method. Feel the emotion, Label the emotion, and Accept the emotion. Acceptance can include voicing in a calm way what they are feeling. Then, Transition to a growth mindset by developing and posing a question to understand more deeply what the other person is saying or experiencing.
With regards to emotional skills training or social skills training, this is often best delivered by a professional. In my opinion when leaders are part of the training and immerse themselves as learners they feel a sense of connection with their team leads. This aspect of team and personal development is ongoing and can be done individually and within teams.
Leadership Coach | Research interest: Socio-Emotional Wellbeing in the Workplace
Any emotional management begins with literacy. Understanding how emotions impact us, mapping ones triggers, feeling it in the body and preparing a personal management plan helps an employee create a sustainable emotional wellbeing that transcends the workplace. It's important to provide tools that are applicable beyond the workplace as employees do not function separately from their personal emotional wellbeing. So create a sustainable plan involves a holistic support of one's employees.
The fifth step to help your team members manage their emotions is to promote emotional wellness. Emotional wellness is the state of being in balance and harmony with one's emotions, thoughts, and actions. It is also the ability to cope with stress and adversity in a healthy and positive way. You can promote emotional wellness by creating a work environment that supports your team members' physical, mental, and social needs. You can also offer resources, incentives, or programs that encourage your team members to take care of their emotional health, such as counseling, wellness coaching, or stress management workshops.
Emotions are a normal part of the human experience, however when we become overwhelmed our ability to tolerate and regulate becomes limited. Therefore it is essential to encourage the team and individuals to pay attention to emotional wellness. Encouraging them to think about ways that they can care for themselves and others. In addition to this the role of the team lead is to listen, take feedback on how the organisation can support emotional wellbeing.
Recognizing that many individuals may not have learned emotional regulation during their upbringing, it's crucial to acknowledge that even managers can be triggered at times. To address this, organizations should invest in frequent emotional intelligence training initiatives. By prioritizing these trainings, companies can foster a culture of emotional growth within the workplace. This approach not only contributes to sustainable team dynamics but also proves to be a profitable strategy. Cultivating emotional intelligence across the organization enhances performance, motivation, and overall team effectiveness, making it a valuable investment for long-term success.
The sixth and final step to help your team members manage their emotions is to celebrate emotional achievements. Emotional achievements are the milestones or outcomes that your team members achieve by applying their emotional skills and strategies. These achievements can be related to their personal or professional growth, such as overcoming a challenge, reaching a goal, or developing a new habit. You can celebrate emotional achievements by recognizing, appreciating, and rewarding your team members for their efforts and results. You can also share their stories, feedback, or testimonials with the rest of the team or the organization to inspire and motivate others.
????Firstly, embracing vulnerability and cultivating psychological safety in the workplace (especially in today's highly VUCA world!) are fundamental in managing both our own and our team members' emotions during times of stress. ????Emotional regulation becomes less effective when we hesitate to authentically reveal ourselves, i.e. when we do not allow ourselves to be truly seen. ????Only when we normalise emotional exposure without the fear of judgment, rejection and/or failure, can we genuinely address what is needed to propel ourselves and our team members forward.
It's emotional behavior that can create problems, not the emotions themselves. Rather than try to avoid being emotional at work, learn to use your emotions to your advantage. They provide useful information about what you want & don't want. Learn from them, but don't let them take over & drive your behavior.
Encourage open dialogue, express understanding, and offer assistance when needed. Establishing stress-relief activities, promoting work-life balance, and providing resources for mental well-being can contribute to a healthier team dynamic. Regular check-ins and team-building activities also help build trust and solidarity.