How can you help clients build and maintain positive relationships with colleagues and supervisors?

What I noticed from working with my clients is that listing this information (pain&gain, goals, preferences etc.) is not enough. In order to build positive relationships, some of my clients need to understand them without judging. There are a lot of situations where we don’t agree with others, and although rationally we can understand, we still dislike that others think or function like that. So, as a coach and consultant, I also support my clients with training their “non-judgement” muscle.

To know your strengths when it comes to the relationships you create is absolutely key. Another great tool to do that is to look at the value of the relationships you have at work. In other words, do you get what you need from them - in a positive way. For instance, do you obtain the level of support and collaboration you need? Do you have the commitment of your team and your peers to achieve a common goal? Usually, when you are not getting the results wanted, it means that there is a weak link, when it comes to the basis of the relationship. So, my first angle is always to ask: what do you think your ability to create strong relationships is? Why? And the key is, as always, on the why.

If the goal is to build relationships, it's helpful to understand the systems and hierarchies of the organization as well as information about the client. Working with them to create a relationship map can help identify where it makes the most sense for them to focus their energy, based on the goals they have.

I start with: Clear system of communication Respect personal and professional styles Ethic Openness to new ideas. Actively listen

In my years as a corporate coach, I notice that successful businesses thrive on giving and receiving constructive, actionable feedback at every level to improve their performance and grow professionally. Giving constructive feedback can be challenging for a number of reasons, such as: 1) Lack of complete awareness of our subject - “half knowledge is indeed dangerous” 2) The risk and fear of hurting the receiver's feelings. 3) Discomfort with giving negative feedback. 4) Not knowing how to be specific - the timing and the words we use Tips for giving positive, constructive feedback: 1) Be specific, providing concrete examples. 2) Be respectful & empathic. 3) Be open to feedback yourself. Be open to others’ suggestions.

Ongoing reflection is a key habit to cultivate, since relationships are dynamic and building and maintaining them is a neverending learning experience. Once that habit is established, other skills can be layered on top to make changes and improvements. Without the habit of reflection, analysis, and learning, it's more challenging for the client to understand what new skills have worked (and why).

Action plans are generally most effective when they address an acute pain point or challenge the client is experiencing. This gives them the stamina and courage to work through the hard, messy middle where they're still experimenting, failing, and learning. Breaking the learning journey into milestones can support recognition and celebration along the way, building on smaller wins up front to fuel confidence for the harder work that requires more (or more sustained) effort or skill later on.

Engagements with clients may only last for a few months, so as a coach, my goal is to help them learn how to learn and apply that knowledge and new habits/behaviors to future situations that are different from the current goal or challenge.

Whenever relevant and with a client's permission, I often share my personal experiences navigating these relationships. By doing so, I hope to provide tangible examples of how challenges can be addressed and overcome. By sharing these real-world experiences that I experienced from demanding roles in my career, I aim to reinforce to my clients that they aren't alone in their journey. Together, we can chart a path for them to successfully navigate and thrive in their professional relationships.

As a coach, my role is not to teach or mentor the client, but to instead help them discover their own path. This will help them internalize whatever they learn and make them more self sufficient in the future. I share my own experiences sparingly, since their lived experiences and current environment will not be the same as mine. Talking about my experience might actually derail the client or stifle their creativity, sending them in a direction that doesn't serve them.

When building relationships at work (or any relationships, for that matter), it's all about understanding your colleagues' or supervisors' 'model of the world.' Instead of focusing on what you can gain, dive deep to see the world through their lens. What motivates them? What do they stand for? What matters to them? By truly understanding their 'model of the world', you'll not only forge a stronger bond but also collaborate in a way that's beneficial for everyone.

In my opinion relationships are ultimately built on trust, whether personal or in work. There are plenty of studies and blogs that talk about bio-chemistry surrounding relationships, but ultimately I believe vulnerability is key. If one person in the relationship demonstrates an air of vulnerability, the other person is more likely to trust the other.