How can you handle conflicts with a team member during coaching sessions?

1 Identify the source of conflict

The first step to handle a conflict with a team member during a coaching session is to identify the root cause of the issue. Is it a misunderstanding, a difference of opinion, a lack of trust, a personality clash, or something else? Try to listen actively to the coachee's perspective and empathize with their feelings and needs. Ask open-ended questions to clarify their concerns and expectations, and avoid making assumptions or judgments. By understanding the source of conflict, you can address it more effectively and avoid escalating the situation.

2 Communicate assertively

The second step to handle a conflict with a team member during a coaching session is to communicate assertively your own point of view and feedback. Assertive communication means expressing your thoughts and feelings in a clear, respectful and confident way, without being aggressive or passive. Use "I" statements to own your opinions and emotions, and avoid blaming, criticizing or accusing the coachee. For example, instead of saying "You are always late for our sessions", say "I feel frustrated when you don't show up on time for our sessions". Also, acknowledge the coachee's positive contributions and achievements, and provide constructive feedback that focuses on their behavior and actions, not their personality or character.

3 Seek a win-win solution

The third step to handle a conflict with a team member during a coaching session is to seek a win-win solution that satisfies both parties and supports the coachee's learning goals. A win-win solution is one that benefits both the coach and the coachee, and that preserves or enhances their relationship. To find a win-win solution, you need to collaborate with the coachee and explore different options and alternatives. Use brainstorming, problem-solving and negotiation techniques to generate and evaluate ideas, and be open to compromise and flexibility. Once you agree on a solution, make sure to document it and follow up on its implementation and outcomes.

4 Maintain professionalism and respect

The fourth step to handle a conflict with a team member during a coaching session is to maintain professionalism and respect throughout the process. Professionalism and respect mean treating the coachee with courtesy, dignity and fairness, regardless of the nature or intensity of the conflict. Avoid raising your voice, using harsh language, interrupting, rolling your eyes, or showing other signs of disrespect or hostility. Also, respect the coachee's privacy and confidentiality, and do not discuss the conflict with other team members or managers, unless it is necessary or appropriate. By maintaining professionalism and respect, you can prevent further damage to the relationship and foster a positive coaching climate.

6 Seek support if needed

The sixth and final step to handle a conflict with a team member during a coaching session is to seek support if needed from your peers, mentors, managers or other resources. Sometimes, a conflict may be too complex, sensitive or difficult to handle on your own, and you may need some guidance, advice or assistance from others. Do not hesitate to reach out to your network and ask for help if you feel stuck, overwhelmed or stressed. Also, seek support if the conflict affects your well-being, performance or motivation, and take care of yourself physically and emotionally. By seeking support if needed, you can cope better with the challenge and access valuable insights and resources.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?