How can you give and receive constructive feedback without damaging trust or rapport?

When it comes to constructive feedback, timing and privacy are crucial. Plan ahead and choose a private setting where the recipient feels comfortable asking questions. Use a positive and constructive tone, provide specific examples, and avoid generalizations or personal attacks. When receiving feedback, be open and receptive to what the person has to say. Remember, constructive feedback is meant to help you grow while maintaining a good relationship with the other person.

It is beneficial to have developed a rapport with the person you seek to give feedback to. Intention is key to how you deliver the feedback, and to how it is received by the person. I ask myself, how does this benefit the person. Am I giving feedback to support growth and improvement, or am I doing so because of some non-beneficial reason (ego-based).

It’s best practice to manage expectations ahead of time. Asking how “brutally honest” or sensitive to be. Learn one another’s preferred methods of communication and levels of sensitivity. Communication that starts off in high gear will make it easier to give/receive impactful feedback throughout the entire process.

Some situations may require stepping in and providing relevant and timely feedback or even immediate redirection. Delivery matters, but so too does the environment. Where possible have regular and recurring meetings to discuss how things are going. People should not be caught unaware when things aren't going as planned or expectations aren't aligned. Establish early on how the protege/mentee prefers to receive feedback and honor this style as much as possible.

Building a relationship with your team that allows you to give feedback in real time and allows them to receive it without being defensive is key. I've heard all too often from people that they never got manager feedback until their reviews and then they were completely caught off guard. Nothing in a review should be surprising. It's important to have weekly or bi-weekly 1:1s with your team. Not only can you deliver feedback at that time but you can also work through any challenges they may be having. Outside of 1:1s, it is also appropriate to offer feedback and help coach as long as you are doing it in a positive manner to help them learn.

It’s never personal. The mentor is taking time to try to help the mentee and clearly cares to see them succeed. This should be the lens to view this through. That said, being considerate, empathetic and practicing active listening, and not getting too “caught in your emotions” is how mentees and mentors alike can make the most of their engagement.

The Center for Creative Leadership has the SBI model. Situation, explain the situation around the behavior you want to discuss; Behavior, talk about the observed behavior or issue with specificity; Impact, explain what the impact is of the behavior.

When giving feedback, focus on the behavior, not the person. Be specific and provide examples. Be respectful and avoid being judgmental. Offer suggestions for improvement. Be open to the person's reaction. When receiving feedback, listen actively. Don't be defensive. Ask questions for clarity. Thank the person for their feedback. More insights for giving feedback: * Start by acknowledging the person's strengths. * Focus on the impact of the behavior, not just the behavior itself. More insights for receiving feedback: * Take some time to reflect on the feedback before responding. * Consider the feedback and decide what you want to do about it.

La retroalimentación efectiva, al ser específica, objetiva y procesable, se centra en el comportamiento observado y sus efectos, en lugar de en ataques personales o críticas vagas. Esto fomenta un ambiente de comprensión y aprendizaje. Evitar generalizaciones y suposiciones sobre los motivos de la otra persona asegura un enfoque justo y respetuoso. El uso de declaraciones en primera persona ayuda a expresar opiniones y sentimientos sin sonar acusatorio. Esta estrategia no solo es más constructiva sino que también promueve la autoevaluación y el desarrollo personal, fortaleciendo la comunicación y la relación interpersonal.

While it's preferable to end a one-to-one on a positive note, it's equally important to prioritise clarity and directness over the "s**t sandwich" method, which, in my opinion, is unethical and treats the person you are engaging with as a fool and simply lessens the effectiveness of any feedback given. For me, feedback is always positive and delivered as such, and it always stems from a desire for the individual to grow and enhance their skills. Therefore, if your feedback and approach are fueled by a positive intention, as they are when I conduct these sessions with my team, there is no need to pre-plan a positive ending as it will be communicated naturally throughout the entire one-to-one session.

Comenzar con aspectos positivos no solo reconoce los logros y esfuerzos, sino que también establece un tono de respeto y apertura. La crítica constructiva, presentada de manera respetuosa y con explicaciones claras, se percibe menos como un juicio y más como una oportunidad de crecimiento. Terminar con un comentario positivo refuerza la confianza y el ánimo, dejando una impresión duradera de apoyo y aprecio. Este enfoque equilibrado no solo mejora las habilidades y comportamientos, sino que también fortalece la relación entre el emisor y el receptor de la retroalimentación.

Bookending is one approach, but perhaps there are better approaches. Celebrate the wins and discuss the lessons learned. Empower the individual to become part of the process by looking at learning opportunities or teachable moments. Guide them through the process of refining their behaviors and actions proactively.

Start with the positive and phrase the negative as ways to improve, creating a more receptive feedback atmosphere. By employing this approach, anyone offering feedback demonstrates genuine interest in the other person's growth and success. Additionally, seeking feedback for oneself and showing openness to improvement fosters mutual understanding and strengthens trust. Encourage an ongoing dialogue that emphasizes learning and development, and ensure that feedback is timely, specific, and actionable. This collaborative approach to feedback promotes trust and rapport while facilitating personal and professional growth.

Listening ?? is a difficult skill to master and most of us listen to respond, meaning that as someone is talking, we are already formulating our response instead to just listening with no attachment to a response. Listening at it’s best, is done with all of our senses. Try to resist the urge to respond immediately the next time you are listening to someone. Lead with curiosity.

Understanding that perception is just that, a perception, is important. Listening helps that process. Try to understand intent and hear the other side of the equation without bias to your own perception.

It would be best if you were willing to offer training or coaching with that person, so they know they still have you in their corner. I would have trusted most of my managers if they were willing to coach me on the feedback they gave me instead of saying it was an area that I needed to change with no steps to make it possible.

Don't Start With Why! Don't start the conversation with, "so why do you think we are meeting today". Asking why immediately puts the other person on the defensive. Also asking the person to tell you why they are meeting with you sounds like a trap no matter how it is delivered. You need to lay out the situation and give the person a full overview of your (the person giving the constructive feedback) "whys" for calling this meeting with the individual. Then stop talking and give the other person a chance to reply. And then go from there.

Being blunt and honest with a mentee is fundamental to building a successful rapport for several reasons: Builds Trust: By being upfront and truthful about your thoughts and opinions, you show that you value your mentee and have their best interests at heart. Provides Clarity: By providing honest feedback and advice, you can help your mentee see things from a new perspective and make informed decisions about their future. Encourages Growth: Honesty can be uncomfortable at times, but it can also be a catalyst for growth and development. By pointing out areas where your mentee needs to improve, you can help them identify their blind spots and work towards becoming a better version of themselves.

I’ve always found it useful to give the constructive feedback from the perspective of my experience or how it made me feel. “I felt confused during the part about XYZ” is easier to work with than “your presentation was confusing, XYZ doesn’t make sense”.