How can you give feedback that promotes self-awareness and self-reflection?

1 The purpose of feedback

Before you give feedback, ask yourself what is your intention and goal. Feedback should not be used to criticize, blame, or judge, but to support, guide, and inspire. Your feedback should be aligned with the person's values, goals, and needs, and should help them become more aware of their strengths and areas of improvement. Feedback should also be specific, timely, and actionable, so that the person can understand what they did well, what they need to work on, and how they can do it.

2 The process of feedback

Feedback is not a one-way communication, but a dialogue that requires active listening, empathy, and curiosity. When you give feedback, start by expressing appreciation and recognition for the person's efforts and achievements. Then, share your observations and perceptions, using concrete examples and data. Avoid generalizations, assumptions, and labels, and use "I" statements to own your perspective. Next, invite the person to share their thoughts and feelings, and listen attentively and respectfully. Ask open-ended questions that encourage them to reflect on their performance, behavior, and impact. Finally, collaborate with them to identify solutions, action steps, and follow-up plans.

3 The mindset of feedback

Feedback can trigger emotional reactions, such as fear, anger, or guilt, both in the giver and the receiver. To avoid or manage these reactions, you need to adopt a mindful mindset that fosters self-awareness and self-regulation. A mindful mindset means being present, aware, and non-judgmental of your own and the other person's thoughts, emotions, and sensations. It also means being open, curious, and compassionate, rather than defensive, resistant, or critical. A mindful mindset can help you give feedback with clarity, honesty, and kindness, and receive feedback with humility, gratitude, and willingness to learn.

4 The benefits of feedback

Feedback can have many positive outcomes for both the giver and the receiver, if it is done mindfully and skillfully. Feedback can enhance learning, performance, and growth, by providing valuable information, guidance, and support. Feedback can also strengthen relationships, trust, and collaboration, by creating a culture of feedback that values feedback as a gift, not a threat. Feedback can also increase motivation, engagement, and satisfaction, by acknowledging achievements, celebrating progress, and inspiring goals.

5 The challenges of feedback

Feedback can also pose some challenges and difficulties, especially if it is not given or received mindfully and skillfully. Feedback can cause conflict, misunderstanding, and resentment, if it is given or received with a negative or hostile tone, language, or attitude. Feedback can also create confusion, frustration, and demotivation, if it is given or received with a vague or inconsistent message, criteria, or expectation. Feedback can also trigger defensiveness, denial, or resistance, if it is given or received with a fixed or closed mindset, that prevents learning and change.

6 The practice of feedback

Feedback is a skill that can be learned and improved, with practice and feedback. To practice giving feedback mindfully and skillfully, you can use some tools and frameworks, such as the SBI model (Situation, Behavior, Impact), the COIN model (Context, Observation, Interpretation, Next steps), or the GROW model (Goal, Reality, Options, Will). To practice receiving feedback mindfully and skillfully, you can use some strategies, such as asking for feedback regularly, seeking feedback from diverse sources, reflecting on feedback before reacting, and acting on feedback with a plan and a follow-up. By practicing feedback, you can enhance your self-awareness and self-reflection, and help others do the same.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?