How can you get reluctant clients to talk about change?

1 Express empathy

The first step to get reluctant clients to talk about change is to express empathy and acceptance. Empathy means understanding your clients' perspectives, feelings, and motivations, without judging, criticizing, or imposing your own agenda. You can express empathy by using reflective listening, which involves paraphrasing or summarizing what your clients say, and adding a guess or a statement about their emotions or meanings. For example, "It sounds like you are feeling frustrated with your current situation, but you are not sure what to do about it."

2 Develop discrepancy

The next step is to develop discrepancy between your clients' current behavior and their goals, values, or aspirations. Discrepancy is the gap or tension that motivates change, and you can help your clients to recognize and explore it by asking open-ended questions, eliciting change talk, and providing feedback. For example, "How does your smoking fit with your desire to be healthy?" or "What are some of the benefits and drawbacks of drinking for you?" or "How do you feel about the results of your blood test?"

3 Roll with resistance

Another step is to roll with resistance, which means avoiding arguments, confrontations, or persuasion with your clients. Resistance is a sign that your clients are feeling defensive, threatened, or misunderstood, and it can manifest as denial, excuses, minimization, or rationalization. You can roll with resistance by using simple reflections, shifting focus, reframing, or agreeing with a twist. For example, "You don't think you have a problem with alcohol." or "Maybe now is not the best time to talk about this." or "You have a good point, drinking helps you cope with stress." or "You are right, quitting smoking is hard."

4 Support self-efficacy

The final step is to support self-efficacy, which means enhancing your clients' confidence and belief in their ability to change. Self-efficacy is a key factor that influences behavior change, and you can support it by affirming your clients' strengths, achievements, and efforts, providing information and options, exploring past successes and coping strategies, and eliciting commitment and action plans. For example, "You have made some positive changes in the past, what helped you do that?" or "What are some of the resources or supports that you can use to quit smoking?" or "What are some of the steps that you are willing to take to reduce your drinking?" or "I believe that you can do this if you set your mind to it."

5 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?