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How can you end a peer support relationship effectively?

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Peer support is a valuable way to share experiences, learn from each other, and provide emotional and practical assistance. However, peer support relationships are not meant to last forever. Sometimes, they may need to end due to changes in circumstances, goals, or needs. Ending a peer support relationship can be challenging, but it can also be an opportunity to celebrate achievements, express gratitude, and plan for the future. Here are some tips on how to end a peer support relationship effectively.

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1 Assess the situation

The first step is to assess the situation and determine if and when the peer support relationship should end. You may want to consider factors such as the duration, intensity, and purpose of the relationship, the feedback and satisfaction of both parties, and the availability and suitability of other sources of support. You may also want to consult with your peer support coordinator, supervisor, or mentor if you have one. If you decide that the relationship has reached its natural conclusion, or that it is no longer beneficial or appropriate, you can start planning for the termination process.

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Jerry E. Fu, PharmD, ACC

Career and Leadership Coach for Asian leaders so they become more visible, vocal, and valuable to increase their influence and self-assurance
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A key questions I like to ask of myself and clients is, "What are you becoming?" If what you're becoming won't support your next stage of development or conflicts with your values, this is a marker you can't afford to ignore.

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PAULINA EWUSI ANSAH

ACCOUNTANT/ CERTIFIED ECONOMIST/AUDITOR
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Like most relationships, ending is quite unpleasant but like the old saying in my local dialect goes, you never burn the bridge you crossed. Meaning, how you end the relationship is key.

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2 Communicate clearly

The second step is to communicate clearly with your peer support partner about your decision and reasons for ending the relationship. You may want to have a face-to-face conversation, or use a phone call, email, or letter, depending on your preference and comfort level. You should be honest, respectful, and empathetic, and avoid blaming, criticizing, or ghosting. You should also acknowledge the positive aspects of the relationship, and thank your partner for their time, trust, and contribution. You may want to give them some notice and agree on a date and time for the final meeting or contact.

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Jerry E. Fu, PharmD, ACC

Career and Leadership Coach for Asian leaders so they become more visible, vocal, and valuable to increase their influence and self-assurance
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No one enjoys this process. But if you've decided that ending the relationship is necessary, you have to remember the cost of staying in the relationship as well. The initial pain of the breakup is far less than the ongoing pain of being in an unproductive one. Don't go into this blindly - take some time to draft a script, list your main 2-3 points, anticipate how the other person might push back, and develop responses to that push back. No one says that you're not allowed to strategize beforehand. In fact, planning is the prudent thing to do.

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3 Review and reflect

The third step is to review and reflect on the peer support relationship and its outcomes. You may want to use a structured tool, such as a feedback form, a questionnaire, or a checklist, to evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of the relationship, the goals and achievements, and the challenges and learnings. You may also want to share your feedback and insights with your partner, and invite them to do the same. You should be constructive, supportive, and appreciative, and avoid being defensive, judgmental, or dismissive. You may want to highlight the growth and development of both parties, and celebrate the successes and milestones.

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Pauli Undesser, BS, MS, MWS, CAE

Chief Executive Officer at WQA and WQRF
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YES! Celebrate wins, socialize outcomes, and reinforce that everyone’s efforts will not sit on a shelf but live on through you and others in the group in tangible ways. The more tangible everyone can illustrate lessons learned being passed forward, the more satisfaction and pride everyone will take with them.

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4 Plan ahead

The fourth step is to plan ahead for the next steps and the transition to other forms of support. You may want to discuss with your partner what their needs and expectations are after the relationship ends, and how you can help them access other resources or opportunities. You may also want to set some goals and action plans for yourself, and identify how you can continue your own learning and development. You should be realistic, flexible, and proactive, and avoid making promises or commitments that you cannot keep. You may want to establish some boundaries and guidelines for the future contact and communication with your partner, if any.

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5 Say goodbye

The fifth step is to say goodbye to your partner in a respectful and meaningful way. You may want to have a final meeting or contact, where you can exchange words of gratitude, encouragement, and farewell. You may also want to give or receive a small gift, card, or token of appreciation, as a gesture of recognition and closure. You should be courteous, sincere, and positive, and avoid being abrupt, cold, or rude. You may want to express your hope and confidence for your partner's future, and wish them well.

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6 Take care of yourself

The sixth step is to take care of yourself after the peer support relationship ends. You may experience some emotions, such as sadness, relief, or anxiety, as you adjust to the change. You may also face some challenges, such as loneliness, uncertainty, or stress, as you cope with the new situation. You should be compassionate, patient, and gentle with yourself, and acknowledge your feelings and needs. You may also want to seek support from other people, such as friends, family, or professionals, who can listen, understand, and help you. You may also want to engage in some activities, such as hobbies, exercise, or meditation, that can relax, energize, and inspire you.

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7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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Heather Pulier

Founder @ Outset Financial
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Before you enter any relationship, you need to lower expectations. The over confidence bias can amplify expectations of a peer support relationship beyond what is possible. One simple way to do this is to talk to your peer support partner from the outset. Make sure you are aligned and have a mutual strategy to say goodbye.

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Helidth Ravenholm

Anthropological consultant, owner Culture Contact
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Always keep in mind why you are in the role, and periodically examine that role and its effect with those you are working with. That way, it will be easier to have good working relationship, as well as notice when it might be time to say goodbye. Always ask yourself why you are leaving too. It's informative - it teaches you much about yourself and your own skills, as well as the needs of others and how they mesh.

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How can you end a peer support relationship effectively?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Assess the situation

2 Communicate clearly

3 Review and reflect

4 Plan ahead

5 Say goodbye

6 Take care of yourself

7 Here’s what else to consider

Interpersonal Skills

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How can you end a peer support relationship effectively?

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

1 Assess the situation

2 Communicate clearly

3 Review and reflect

4 Plan ahead

5 Say goodbye

6 Take care of yourself

7 Here’s what else to consider

Interpersonal Skills

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感谢您的反馈

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