How can you effectively manage conflict when influencing others?

1 Identify the source

Before you engage in a conflict, try to understand what is causing it. Is it a misunderstanding, a disagreement, a personal issue, or something else? By identifying the source, you can avoid jumping to conclusions, making assumptions, or blaming others. You can also clarify your own position and interests, and prepare to listen and empathize with the other party.

2 Choose your approach

Not all conflicts require the same approach. Depending on the situation, you may need to be more assertive, cooperative, accommodating, or avoidant. You can use the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI) to assess your preferred style and how it affects your outcomes. The key is to choose an approach that matches your goals, values, and relationship with the other party.

4 Seek common ground

The goal of conflict management is not to win or lose, but to find a solution that satisfies both parties. To do this, you need to seek common ground and identify areas of agreement, shared values, or mutual interests. You can use techniques such as brainstorming, problem-solving, or negotiation to generate and evaluate options that benefit both sides. You can also use positive language, humor, or compliments to reduce tension and build rapport.

6 Learn and improve

The final step of conflict management is to learn from the experience and improve your skills. You can reflect on what went well and what went wrong, and how you can apply the lessons to future situations. You can also seek feedback from the other party or a neutral observer, and acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses. By learning and improving, you can enhance your social influence skills and increase your social impact.

7 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?