How can you develop resilience to handle criticism from a supervisor?

Anyone who says they welcome "constructive criticism" are liars. I worked as a supervisor and employee for 40 years before retirement. I never once met anyone who liked to hear anything negative about their performance. I certainly never did. But, that is not to say that you can't reflect on criticism you receive after the immediate defensive reaction passes. On a personal level, I was fairly honest with myself about my strengths and weaknesses. So, if a boss or even a co-worker mentioned an encounter with me that was less than positive in an area I knew was a weakness, I would not immediately react but later often go back and thank them.

Have a read of Antifragile: Things that gain from disorder by Nassim Nicholas Taleb. Taleb coins the term antifragile as an antonym to fragility. While resilience describes something that remains unchanged by stressors/unexpected events, antifragility describes something that actually improves with stressors, e.g. criticism. A nice mindset to have when framing criticism received

The issue these days in workplaces with the introduction of the DEI theory of "microaggressions" is to try to guess what unintended slight required someone to complain about you. Did you stare at someone for an extra nanosecond to make them uncomfortable? Did you fail to say hello to someone in the hallway when you passed them? Did you raise your voice on the telephone? Who can say what might cause someone to take offense these days. And what's more, will the criticism you receive even be specific enough to know who and when you might have crossed some line? It seems a lot of criticism these days is often delivered anonymously by a third party. When receiving such feedback, I always promised to take another DEI on-line class.

Having been on both sides, I’ve found engaging in a meaningful dialogue around criticism is extremely helpful. Obviously, it’s ideal if you have a strong leader that’s built a strong relationship, but you can do this even if it’s not the case. I remember when a new manager came in hot sharing a bunch of feedback based on what they’d heard from others. While my initial reaction was emotional, I ended up reframing the conversation and asking a lot of questions back in response. This not only helped me better understand where the feedback was coming from but also why the manager was sharing it and what things they felt needed to be addressed. As it turned out, there was a lot less to it than I thought had I just taken it at face value.

If you receive negative feedback, sit with the feedback for a while and try to gain some objectivity around the emotions. Do no react quickly as you need time to digest it and then figure out next steps.

To practice this the following aspects can be important. 1. Maintain a positive mindset regardless of the supervisor's quality. 2. Control emotions and seek the positives in criticism.. 3. Evaluate negative impacts and develop new skills to overcome challenges. 4. Demonstrate improvements positively to the supervisor. 5. Treat criticism as a chance to learn and implement for long-term growth. However, not all criticisms are valid or useful. Sometimes, supervisors might have biases or unrealistic expectations. It's crucial to discern between constructive criticism aimed at growth and feedback that might not be helpful. Nonetheless, this framework provides an excellent foundation for handling criticism constructively.