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How can you develop coachees' self-awareness and reflection skills?

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Self-awareness and reflection are essential skills for executive coaching, as they enable coachees to understand their own strengths, weaknesses, emotions, values, and goals, and to learn from their experiences and feedback. Developing these skills can help coachees improve their performance, relationships, decision-making, and well-being. In this article, we will explore some strategies and tools that you can use as an executive coach to foster self-awareness and reflection in your coachees.

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Carina Hellmich

Certified Professional Coach | Keynote Speaker | Mentor | Trainer
Tanuja - The Internal Happiness Coach

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Craig Beirdneau

Creating transformations in your business and your life | 1:1 + Group Coach | Speaker | Facilitator

1 Use powerful questions

One of the most effective ways to stimulate self-awareness and reflection in your coachees is to ask them questions that challenge their assumptions, beliefs, and perspectives. These questions should be open-ended, curious, specific, and relevant to the coachee's situation and goals. They can help the coachee uncover new insights, generate solutions, and take action. Examples of such powerful questions include: what is important to you about this goal? How do you feel about the situation? What are you assuming or taking for granted? How do you know that this is true? What are the consequences of your current approach? What are some alternative ways of looking at this? What would you do differently if you had a chance to start over? And what have you learned from this experience?

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Carina Hellmich

Certified Professional Coach | Keynote Speaker | Mentor | Trainer
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Encouraging self-awareness and reflection in individuals is a cornerstone of effective coaching. Utilizing thought-provoking questions is not only a strategy but an art. When done right, it can lead someone into a deeper understanding of their own thoughts, feelings, and actions. Such questions open the door for individuals to see things from various perspectives, reassess their current strategies, and uncover hidden solutions or insights. It's like giving someone a mirror to look deeper within themselves, to recognize their potential and navigate their way towards their goals more effectively.

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Tanuja - The Internal Happiness Coach

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Asking powerful questions while encouraging the coachee to be fully present, stay calm and excited and willing to open up and share what's getting in their way is a skill. It's a delicate balance between probing deep enough to prompt introspection and maintaining a supportive environment. And of course not all clients are the same. Asking powerful to challenge client's beliefs, way of thinking and perspective is what ultimately can lead to breakthroughs.

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Craig Beirdneau

Creating transformations in your business and your life | 1:1 + Group Coach | Speaker | Facilitator
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The right questions allow people to consistently challenge their beliefs and even after you are done coaching with them. One string of my favorite questions goes: 1 - is it true? 2 - what if the opposite was true? 3 - who would you be without with this feeling or belief? We get to determine what meaning we are assigning our beliefs, thoughts, and feelings. Powerful and useful questions allow us to gauge the meaning we are assigning and then determine if we want to keep that meaning or if we want to change it.

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Iulia Oprea

Resolve Chronic Stress & Lead Resilient Teams | Certified in TTI Success Insights Assessments | Founder & CEO | Executive & Team Coach | Gestalt Psychotherapist | TEDx Speaker
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One of the most effective ways to stimulate self-awareness and reflection in your coachees is to help them become aware of their sensations in the situation (hearing, seeing, smelling, touch, tasting). In Gestalt Coaching we always go back to observing the sensations we have in the situation, because those will inform our awareness of what is important for us in the here and the now. What might seem trivial (such as observing my body awareness in this moment) can lead to deeper understanding later on a rational level. While powerful questions make us think deeper, the focus on our sensations is a more inclusive and holistic approach, one which includes the body awareness and the richness of knowledge which comes from it.

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Anne Cornelis
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Yes self awareness and reflection are the corner stones for improvements or even changes. Being able to take some distance instead of reacting allows to take actions in a better way. And also seeing what is behind a thought, behavior, word, motivation, … in the coachee as well as the other person the coachee is interacting. Questioning is indeed an art !

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2 Use feedback models

To enhance self-awareness and reflection in your coachees, you can use feedback models that help them to receive, process, and apply feedback from various sources. These models assist the coachee in understanding the purpose, content, and impact of the feedback, as well as identifying areas of improvement, strengths, and opportunities. The SBI model stands for Situation, Behavior, and Impact. It allows the coachee to focus on specific behaviors and their consequences instead of personal traits or judgments. For instance, you could say: "In yesterday's meeting, you interrupted several times (situation and behavior), which made others feel frustrated and ignored (impact)." The GROW model is another example; it stands for Goal, Reality, Options, and Will. This model helps the coachee to use feedback as a basis for setting goals, assessing their current situation, exploring possible actions, and committing to a plan. For example: "What is your goal for improving your communication skills? (goal) Where are you now in relation to that goal? (reality) What are some options that you can try to achieve that goal? (options) What will you do next and when? (will)."

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Iulia Oprea

Resolve Chronic Stress & Lead Resilient Teams | Certified in TTI Success Insights Assessments | Founder & CEO | Executive & Team Coach | Gestalt Psychotherapist | TEDx Speaker
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The Gestalt Method for feedback is successful in working with the resistance and the defence mechanism of those who are receiving the feedback. In this model, I use external and internal data combined with checking if the counterpart remembers the information, thus inviting them into a partnership or a dialogue: "In yesterday's meeting I heard you day ....(step 1) Can you recall that you said this? (step 2)" Wait for the counterpart to acknowledge or say No. If they acknowledge, you can continue to step 3 which is expressing how this impacts you. Notice a difference here between speaking about my perception, thoughts or feelings about it and not judging the other person, which will catapult them into self-defence.

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3 Use reflective tools

A third way to promote self-awareness and reflection in your coachees is to use reflective tools that aid in capturing, organizing, and analyzing experiences, thoughts, and emotions. These tools can help the coachee to deepen their learning, enhance their awareness, and improve their practice. Examples of reflective tools include journaling, a feedback log, and self-assessment. Journaling allows the coachee to write down reflections on a regular basis, using prompts or questions. This can help track progress, express feelings, clarify thoughts, and generate insights. A feedback log helps collect and review feedback from different sources while identifying patterns, strengths, and areas of development. Finally, self-assessment is a tool that evaluates performance or competencies and compares them with goals or expectations. This can help acknowledge gaps, celebrate successes, and set priorities.

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4 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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How can you develop coachees' self-awareness and reflection skills?

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1 Use powerful questions

2 Use feedback models

3 Use reflective tools

4 Here’s what else to consider

Executive Coaching

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How can you develop coachees' self-awareness and reflection skills?

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1 Use powerful questions

2 Use feedback models

3 Use reflective tools

4 Here’s what else to consider

Executive Coaching

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