How can you control emotions during conflict?

You may have noticed that the atmosphere gets extra sensitive when the stakes for you are high during the conversation. Recognize it, accept it and then decide on a plan to deal with it. One of the mechanisms you can try is taking the conversation elsewhere and start afresh. Be honest about how the situation is making you feel and ask the other person about their feelings, sometimes just making others aware of the impact their behavior is having on you will amend the situation. Also you might understand how the other person is being affected by your choice of words!

When one notices the other person using triggering actions or words. You may 1st not know what has made a trigger within you but you feel offended, sad or unworthy. In response there is adverse reaction. We should choose to hear or notice it and then change the narrative of the triggering behaviour or action. When we do that we choose to reduce the effect and multiply our immunity to the effects. Let’s try to build the changed narrative with showing 200% positivity. When we change the reaction we change our selves and we build to master our mindset.

There’s really no preparedness for conflicts, it’s a natural human emotion based action that can even be manifested spontaneously within the person and often times being unnoticed. To set an example: inner conflicts, we deal with them at an internal level every single day. But I guess I am going away from the main question which is the triggering, and basically “we” all have triggers and will eventually get into a conflict, it’s inevitable. I believe the key word is self control, the best way to deal with a conflict is by avoiding it.

In my experience, a delayed argument is better than an instant solution. A lot of times our anger gets the better of us and we end up arguing more about how we felt about the situation rather than the situation itself. Pausing and breathing lets us think about the situation from all the possible angles and then design the best possible solution. More often than not we ll be able to find a win-win solution after the pause.

It is extremely important to self-reflect and name the negative emotion (sad, angry, etc.,) as well as identify the circumstance associated with that feeling. In my experience, having a one-on-one conversation in real time that starts with an "I" statement is crucial in conflict resolution. Verbalizing that emotion in the first-person establishes a sense of agency, tends to dampen the intensity of that uncomfortable emotion, can mitigate future feelings of resentment & passive-aggressive behaviors. Pinpointing both the trigger & the emotion eliminates any misunderstanding or misinterpretation of a situation. It also can even be enlightening to the other person, who may have little to no awareness that you are feeling that way.

Managing my emotions in professional conversations is vital for effective communication. I prioritise self-awareness and understanding my feelings. When faced with challenges, I regulate my breathing, maintaining composure. Active listening helps me grasp others' perspectives and respond appropriately. I choose words carefully, ensuring a respectful tone. Empathy guides me to understand their emotions while remaining objective. If needed, I take breaks, addressing the conversation later. Seeking feedback and reflecting on my emotional responses drive improvement and professionalism. By practising emotional intelligence, I navigate these conversations successfully, fostering better connections and achieving positive outcomes.

This can be difficult. Expressing your feelings during professional conflict often requires courage and confidence; however, this becomes easier when you prioritize time for self-reflection. Reflecting on situations in which you were directly involved will help strengthen the necessary skills required to identify your own emotions and then expressing them during conflict in the future. Expressing your feelings during conflict should also be used in conjunction with other nonviolent communication methods such as identifying the current needs and requesting specific solutions from the other party.

In my experience "actually listening" to people is a lost skill, most of the complaints regarding previous handlers of cases are that "they were not listened too, or not understood" I would say i spend maybe 50% of the first 10-20 minutes of most calls or visits are spent trying to explain to people that this was not me and it will be different, if only that would stop talking about previous experiences and talk to me about the issues they are facing now and allow me to deal with them as needed

Effectively seeking solutions requires the skill of assertiveness while also recognising your own needs and validating the perspectives of others. Balancing assertiveness and empathy is key. By actively listening and showing understanding, you create a collaborative atmosphere that fosters cooperation and shared problem-solving. Additionally, being assertive means expressing your thoughts and concerns clearly and respectfully, ensuring your needs are addressed. By combining assertiveness and validation, you establish a foundation for constructive dialogue and build stronger professional relationships. This approach promotes mutual respect, enables effective conflict resolution, and paves the way for successful outcomes.

Empathy is important too, and taking time to consider the other person’s perspective. Why are they acting the way they are? What might lead them to that behavior? This can also help with resolving the disagreement.

Remember that most people do not have the inter- or intrapersonal skills to explain to themselves or others what the actual confrontation is. Addressing the issue (seemingly) at hand in many cases is going to exacerbate the problem. Remember that almost nothing requires an off the cuff response - When people are emotional, they are not in control of themselves and any written or verbal missteps are going to add to your problems: Take time to think about what they said. Think about what you want to say back and make sure it is phrased ^exactly^ as you want to say it. Use a phrase like, “Give me a second to process that,” if communicating in real time. Remember that the other person’s prescription of reality might be inaccurate as well.