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How can you coach someone who struggles with emotional self-awareness?

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Emotional self-awareness is the ability to recognize and understand your own emotions, how they affect your behavior, and how they influence others. It is a key component of emotional intelligence, which is essential for effective communication, collaboration, and leadership. However, some people may struggle with emotional self-awareness, either because they are unaware of their feelings, or because they avoid or suppress them. As a coach, how can you help someone who struggles with emotional self-awareness to develop this skill and improve their performance and relationships? Here are some tips to guide you.

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Body awareness:

Noticing bodily sensations helps to identify emotions before they escalate. This awareness can be used to regulate reactions constructively in the moment.
Start small and specific:

Focus on a single aspect of emotional self-awareness to improve, like communication. Establish where you are, where you want to be, and take steps toward that authentic goal.

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1 Identify the gap

The first step is to identify the gap between the current and desired level of emotional self-awareness. You can use various tools, such as self-assessments, feedback surveys, or 360-degree reviews, to help your coachee evaluate their strengths and weaknesses in this area. You can also observe their behavior and reactions in different situations, and ask them to reflect on how they feel and why. The goal is to help them recognize the impact of their emotions on themselves and others, and to create a baseline for improvement.

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Ivan Capan

Coaching | NLP | Agile | Why
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Also, we don't need to evaluate our whole life every time. If you want to do something better you just need to asses the current and desired state and start working on the topic! :) ex: " I want to communicate better " Current state: - people not taking me seriously - don't voice my opinions when I should - my partner argues better :D Wanted state: - be more confident when I speak - be more assertive in my communication - be ready to voice my opinions and take critic after -... After you have the start and the end point you can proceed working in your AUTHENTIC direction!

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2 Explore the root causes

The next step is to explore the root causes of the lack of emotional self-awareness. There may be various factors that contribute to this, such as past experiences, beliefs, values, or personality traits. You can use open-ended questions, active listening, and empathy to help your coachee uncover and understand the sources of their emotional patterns. You can also challenge them to examine their assumptions and biases, and to consider alternative perspectives. The goal is to help them gain insight and awareness into their emotional triggers and responses.

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Lauren Vejar, MA

Life Coach, Assistant Director of Fitness & Wellness Programs | Wild Wealth? Lifestyle Wellness Brand
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A natural way to discover our emotions is through noticing our body(soma). We experience a feeling prior to an emotion. If we can identify the feeling, we can actually regulate our body BEFORE the emotion. A feeling vs. an emotion are different Example: Someone cuts us off in traffic to get into the turn lane after we’ve been waiting our turn for 20 minutes.. immediately we may want to flip them the bird!! *In between the cut off and the desire to flip em’ off, we experience a visceral response in our body (thank you nervous system). It could feel hot or tight in our chest, tense in our shoulders, a deep twist in our stomach, etc. Then comes the regulation response. Cheers! Lauren

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Alejandra Nieves

Director Colombia & Central America (ColCA) at Macmillan Education | ?Springer Nature Brand Ambassador | Purposeful Leader
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When it comes to improving self-awareness, I think the book “Permission to Feel” by Yale professor Marc Brackett is a fantastic tool. Marc says when we are kids we express our emotions freely but as we grow up, we start to repress them and that has terrible consequences to our wellbeing. Learning to identify our emotions, and naming them properly is the first step to manage them effectively and this book and the “Mood Meter” tool presented in it are a great starting point for self-awareness and self-management. I really recommend it.

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3 Provide feedback and support

The third step is to provide feedback and support to your coachee as they work on their emotional self-awareness. You can use specific examples, observations, and data to highlight their progress and areas for improvement. You can also use praise, encouragement, and recognition to motivate and reinforce their efforts. You can also offer guidance, suggestions, and resources to help them overcome challenges and obstacles. The goal is to help them build confidence and competence in their emotional self-awareness.

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4 Encourage practice and reflection

The fourth step is to encourage practice and reflection to your coachee as they develop their emotional self-awareness. You can help them set SMART goals, action plans, and milestones to track and measure their growth. You can also help them identify opportunities and situations to apply their emotional self-awareness skills, such as meetings, presentations, or conflicts. You can also help them create a habit of journaling, meditating, or mindfulness to enhance their emotional self-awareness. The goal is to help them embed and sustain their emotional self-awareness.

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5 Review and celebrate

The fifth step is to review and celebrate the achievements and outcomes of your coachee's emotional self-awareness journey. You can use feedback, data, or testimonials to demonstrate the impact and value of their emotional self-awareness on their performance and relationships. You can also use rewards, recognition, or appreciation to acknowledge and celebrate their success and growth. You can also use reflection, feedback, or evaluation to identify the lessons learned, the best practices, and the areas for further development. The goal is to help them consolidate and appreciate their emotional self-awareness.

Emotional self-awareness is a vital skill that can enhance your coachee's emotional intelligence, and thus their personal and professional effectiveness. By following these steps, you can coach someone who struggles with emotional self-awareness to improve this skill and achieve their goals and aspirations.

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6 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?

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How can you coach someone who struggles with emotional self-awareness?

1

2

3

4

5

6

1 Identify the gap

2 Explore the root causes

3 Provide feedback and support

4 Encourage practice and reflection

5 Review and celebrate

6 Here’s what else to consider

Emotional Intelligence

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How can you coach someone who struggles with emotional self-awareness?

1

2

3

4

5

6

1 Identify the gap

2 Explore the root causes

3 Provide feedback and support

4 Encourage practice and reflection

5 Review and celebrate

6 Here’s what else to consider

Emotional Intelligence

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感谢您的反馈

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