How can you balance authority and rapport to de-escalate a student?

1 Why balance authority and rapport?

Balancing authority and rapport is important for several reasons. First, it helps you establish trust and credibility with the student, which can make them more willing to cooperate and listen to you. Second, it helps you avoid power struggles and confrontations, which can trigger more resistance and aggression from the student. Third, it helps you preserve the dignity and autonomy of the student, which can reduce their emotional distress and increase their self-regulation. Balancing authority and rapport does not mean that you have to compromise your standards or goals, but that you have to communicate them in a way that respects the student's perspective and needs.

2 How to balance authority and rapport?

Balancing authority and rapport is not a one-size-fits-all approach, but a dynamic and flexible process that depends on the context and the student. To help achieve this balance, it’s important to use a calm and confident tone of voice, which can convey your authority and rapport at the same time. Acknowledge the student's feelings and concerns to show empathy, while explaining the reason and purpose of your actions and requests to demonstrate clarity. Additionally, offering choices and alternatives can help the student regain a sense of control and autonomy, reducing their frustration and anger. Ultimately, these general guidelines can help effectively balance authority and rapport.

3 What to avoid when balancing authority and rapport?

Balancing authority and rapport can help you de-escalate a student, however, there are some pitfalls to avoid that can backfire and worsen the situation. For instance, being too harsh or too lenient can damage your authority and rapport with the student. Too harsh can make them feel attacked or resentful, while too lenient can make them feel manipulated or ignored. Additionally, making assumptions or judgments based on appearance, behavior, or background can create a barrier to rapport and make the student feel misunderstood. Lastly, giving ultimatums or threats can provoke their fight or flight response. To prevent this, avoid using words like “never” and “always” and instead use words like “if”, “when”, or “then”. Aim for a balance between firmness and flexibility by setting limits while offering support. Focus on the facts, behaviors, and solutions rather than labels, generalizations, or accusations.

4 How to practice balancing authority and rapport?

Balancing authority and rapport is a skill that requires practice and feedback in order to improve. You can role-play scenarios with a colleague or friend to simulate realistic and challenging situations with students, gaining feedback from your partner or observer. It’s also beneficial to reflect on your experiences and interactions with students, analyzing your actions and reactions, and learning from your mistakes and successes. Moreover, seeking support and guidance from others can help you cope with stress and emotions, as well as gain new insights and perspectives. By following these strategies, avoiding the pitfalls, and practicing the skill, you can enhance your communication and relationship with the student, creating a positive and productive learning environment.

5 Here’s what else to consider

This is a space to share examples, stories, or insights that don’t fit into any of the previous sections. What else would you like to add?